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True Life Story: My Husband Got Me Into This Mess But Things Have Become Very Messy

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True Life Story: My Husband Got Me Into This Mess But Things Have Become Very Messy

Hi Lively Stones,

Keep my identity anonymous. I am battling with guilt right now, I am a 36 year old woman with 2 children. My husband is a medical doctor based in Saudi Arabia. We got married five years ago when he just started his plans to travel out of the country for better opportunities since Naija does not offer anything tangible for medical doctors.

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The plan was for him to relocate to UK or US but the process was disappointing. After spending so much money and failed attempts, he was advised to try Ukraine or Saudi Arabia and maybe from there, find his way to UK or US. By that time, my second baby was almost 1 year old.

My husband felt it was not necessary for me and the children to join him cos Saudi is a temporary arrangement. Plus, the country has many strict rules. So, my husband left last year. He has not been able to visit us since but he sends money and calls regularly on vide call.

To maintain intimacy, we sometimes have phone s3x. But its definitely not the same. I never thought I would crave s3x so much. I told my husband that he has to try and come at least once in 3 or 6 months cos I am having difficulties being horny and not being able to do anything about it. My husband then bought me some s3x toys and even watched me use on myself during video calls.

ALSO READ:True Life Story: I Used To Think My Husband Could Never Cheat On Me

Last December, my husband’s family invited us over to spend Christmas with them in Port Harcourt. The children had so much fun being around family and grand parents. One day, all the children went with the grand parents to the park to have fun. I stayed behind to sleep because I had washed alot of clothes that morning.

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Just before I slept, I brought out my dildo to pleasure myself and I thought I locked the door but apparently, I didn’t. I was deep in pleasure and did not notice that my husband’s younger brother was in the room and watching me. The guy came to ask me if I wanted to play ludo game with him but was surprised when he found me using a dildo.

The foolish boy did not leave but kept starring. It took me a few minutes to notice someone was watching me. I jolted out of my pleasure and told the boy to get out. He then turned around and left. I quickly dressed up and went out to meet him. I was angry he didn’t knock before coming in. He apologized saying he was not thinking cos my door was not even locked.

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I told him that he must not tell anyone what he saw me doing. He laughed and said my secret is safe with him. He then asked why I was using a toy and not getting myself a man to take care of my s3xual needs. I thought he was crazy for asking me. I reminded him that I am married to his brother and its his brother that bought me the dildo.

This boy looked at me and shook his head. He the told me that he is not supposed to tell me but his brother, my husband has a girlfriend in Saudi Arabia. That the woman who helped him process his papers to Saudi,   is also a doctor. That my husband is living with the woman in Saudi. That they have a contract marriage, that he and his father are aware but his mom and other siblings are not aware.

This boy then tells me that even though my husband keeps telling me that he loves me, he is f*cking that woman. I told him he was lying. He told me to ask my husband. I called my husband and confronted him about what I just heard. I was too angry when I called. My husband just said, who told me? I refused to tell him cos his brother made me swear not to expose him. I told him I overheard someone in his family talking about it.

My husband then confessed. Saying that the marriage contract is fake. That they are just pretending to be married but the lady and him are not having s3x cos she is engaged to someone in US, that she plans to relocate also to US to join her fiancé.

That story by my husband did not sit well with me cos all I felt was betrayal. I never knew about this and the way I found out, knowing his brother and father are aware made me sick to my stomach. I was crying and feeling so down. My husband called his brother, same boy who told me his secret to come and check on me.

This boy came and was truly asking me to calm down, hugging me and pretending to be caring for me. I pushed him away because he was not calming me down, he was cuddling me. I saw he had a mischievous smile on his face. I asked him what he was trying to do. he said, he was giving me an opportunity to get revenge on my husband…to be unfaithful since my husband was being unfaithful.

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I told him that I could never sleep with him cos he is my in-law. He laughed and said, stop being a fool. You are there killing yourself with s3x toys while your husband is knacking his ex. That minute, I was so angry I wanted to have my revenge. I asked him to lock the door very well this time. He did…he even pushed the table behind the door.

My brother in-law who also looks exactly like my husband, f*cked me in their family house for almost 35 mins. I do not know what came over me but I was angry ,feeling very vengeful and I was not thinking. I refused to take my husband’s calls all through the Christmas period. His younger brother came to Lagos in January and we slept with each other for one whole week.

By this time, my husband was desperate, he asked the lady he was staying with to talk to me. The lady called me and spoke to me, trying to reassure me that nothing is going on with them. That even if they are both tempted sometimes, that they have never crossed the boundary. Hubby admitted they made out a couple of times but they never had s3x.

I wanted to believe them, but his brother did not let me. He told me they were lying ….maybe because he wanted to keep f*cking me. And I was wanting him shamelessly. My husband was able to get a small room apartment and move out of the apartment he shared with that woman but I still couldn’t stop seeing his brother. I want to stop. I am now feeling so guilty….but the s3x toys are nothing compared to his brother…they are no match…this boy has turned me into a s3x hungry woman ….I need help…I want to stop…how do I stop…

Several times, I tell him we have to stop but a few days later…we are doing it again…and I feel sick to my stomach after doing it. I am the one cheating now and I do not know how to stop it. I need practical advice. Please don’t curse me. I started attending one church for deliverance. The prophet started flirting with me, fingering me in the name of conducting deliverance when I told him my problem is I am desiring for s3x too much.

So I stopped going there after two weeks and continued with my husband’s brother…but I want advice if there is anyone going through something similar with me…how did they overcome it? I keep excusing myself for cheating: telling myself that my husband pushed me to it but deep down I know,…my husband not being around does not excuse my behavior. I do not know how I turned into this person that I see in the mirror.

Please help.

Anonymous

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Jzhane
Jzhane
A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J

5 COMMENTS

  1. Sincerely, its better not to start extra- marital affairs than to start at all.
    #Distance marriage.. sigh**.
    initially your husband was at fault, by hiding that kind of huge secret from you. We know alot that have lost their spouses abroad to these so-called contract marriages. And I dont believe his story just like other cock n bull stories of contract marriages we here here and there to get green card or migrate!
    His re-assuring you now is damage control which is okay, and hope you’ve truly pardoned him.

    Back to you Dear, your reaction is what I hear alot of women do once they discover their cheating husband. we should watch it when emotionally upset, decisions or actions shouldnt be taken at such moments, it leads to regrets, just like having to sleep with your BiL in anger and revenge.

    Howbeit, i think the best way is to get out of this mess with your BIL is to confess to your husband. hopefully, it will be a pill he can swallow too. My fear however is that, this is family, among two brothers. it may be tough but do the confession ,carry God along.
    Yes seek God’s forgiveness. i think these are the two steps you need to take. please try to before it becomes blackmail or family members or your husband finds out .
    if you can do this wait, asking for mercy all the way. you ll see that theres no urge for sex with your BIL anywhere and youre not under any spell. Please pray for mercy and grace.
    it is really well with you.
    Peace.

  2. Madam,you are not ready to stop having sex with your husband’s brother.
    When you make up your mind to totally leave him,then you will.
    See what you have done or doing to your innocent husband who loves and cares for you,I pray your God forgives you and your husband doesn’t find out all the attrocities you have committed with his younger brother.
    Abomination,you are so loose and daft,you still allowed a stupid prophet from the pit of hell to finger you all in the name of deliverance.
    Madam receive sense in Jesus name,amen. Who will not curse you after reading this? You better repent now and tell your husband the nonsense you have been doing with his brother in his absence.
    I pity you!!!

  3. Clearly, your BIL was just after your body and fell for it. Just watch out, if you didn’t do something about it fast, it will turn to blackmail.
    Better put an end to it now, by confessing to your husband and cutting off from your BIL.

    Ok, fine, you have had your revenge now, how do you feel? Do you now feel better?
    Well, the did is done already, you have gotten your revenge, what next?
    When you are ready to stop it, you tell your husband what you have done and brace yourself for the outcome.

    Two wrongs can never make a right.

  4. Obviously, you were not thinking straight when you started out on this insane revenge mission. But truth be told, you ended up worse than your husband.
    Agreed, your husband has his share of blame, but nothing justifies repeatedly sleeping with another man, worse still your brother-in-law all in the name of revenge.
    It’s a big show of shame!
    MY ADVICE-
    1.Pray to God for forgiveness and for strength to do the right thing going forward.
    2. Cut all ties with your brother-in-law and be firm about it.
    3. Come clean with your husband but prepare your mind for any outcome.
    Your case is a tricky one but definitely not irredeemable
    Best wishes!

  5. You are closer to the end of your marriage,very,very,very close if you don’t stop NOW!

    I fault your husband for keeping his arranged marriage from you,it was not wise!
    And I strongly don’t agree with Marriage Across Countries,it’s a good way to break the marriage.

    But two wrongs don’t make right..your brother in lust is not the way out..he’s just the way out of your marriage.

    He doesn’t even respect his brother,he doesn’t respect you and would soon use your wild,uncontrolled urges against you…don’t be surprised to find out he filmed your sex and would readily send it to all who would care to see.

    Why would you even go to a prophet for deliverance when you can pray for strength to stop on your own(that is if you’re very ready to stop!)
    If you need prayers,don’t go to just anywhere,seek true men/women of GOD carefully.

    But first you have to say NO to brother in lust!
    Fight and overpower your urges..try not to be alone too much..engage yourself until you are sure when you hit your bed,you would do nothing but sleep!
    And speak to GOD frequently,he would hear, accept you as you are,and help you.

    May the Lord help you win your battles!

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