True Life Story: My Girlfriend & Her Pastor Are Pressuring Me To Marry Her-Pls Advise
Hi Lively Stones,
My name is Andy (not real name). I am 31 years old and I work in as a pure water manufacturing manager. This job am doing does not pay me much especially because its not enough to meet my needs ,talkless of my family needs because I send money to my parents as the eldest son since my elder brother died about 6 years ago.
It is my desire to settle down and find someone to marry soon. I have not been so lucky with relationship because most girls see me as not financially ok. About two months ago, I met a very pretty girl. She invited me to church program actually and because of her beauty, I came to her church. She seemed like a decent girl…church girl.
Of course, my attraction to her was because she did not seem like a materialistic girl, she looked very humble and a good girl. I started following her to church. I swear, I was not hearing anything they were saying in church but I just wanted an opportunity to make her my girlfriend and if possible, my wife.
After 3 weeks, I told her I liked her and would like to date her. She was so shy. We spent quite alot of time together, She never seemed to mind my financial level. One day, she came to my place and cooked and cleaned my place…I was so touched. I started kissing her and she was like, no…she cannot have s3x until after marriage.
So, we set the ground rules: we can kiss, cuddle but no s3x. Truly, this has been very frustrating for me because I love her so much, I really want to marry her but now, I am having second thoughts. What happened is, after she stops me from going further for s3x during our kissing…she will later be sending me racy pictures…she snaps her self naked without her face of course and send to me…sending me very crazy.
I asked her why she does that, she will say that she is using it to remind me what I am missing by not marrying her. I have told her that one day, she will push me to r*pe her, so she should stop sending me those photos. Yet, she continues. She turned out not to be so innocent after all. We did alot of s3xual acts together but she wont let me penetrate and that was very frustrating. A few weeks ago, not only did she send me a video of her naked self, she was masturbating in that video.
That was too much for me to bear…in my head, how can you be teasing me to such s3xual heights and expect me not to act crazy…when she came over, I was like a hungry lion…I could not hold myself…I was ready to force myself on her, in-fact, I did but she started crying and I stopped. I was instantly very sorry. I apologized to her but she started insulting me calling me a beast.
Why insult me when she was the one terrorizing me to this extent? I begged and begged her. From then, she broke up with me and told me never to talk to her again. God knows, I am not proud of my behavior but I thought she was just teasing me. A week later, she managed to reply only once to my messages. She said: she will not have anything to do with me until I propose and marry her under one month.
Now, I have an ultimatum to propose and marry her in one month. This is pressure. I know I love her and want to marry her but giving me one month to do that is too much. This girl is putting pressure on me…I told her marriage is not for me until next year but seeing that she has refused to talk to me…what should I do? I get extremely jealous when I see her talking to any guy in church. In short,…she’s driving me crazy.
Last week, the pastor of the church that I barely speak to, called me to see him after service the next Sunday. I went to church, wondering why he wanted to see me. I saw him after service and he said, he recently found out that I had carnal knowledge of sis Devine (not her real name o). I said….no sir…I love her…I want to marry her but I am not financially ready.
The pastor now said…I do not have to have everything ready to marry…that since I broke Devine’s heart…she has not been functioning well in church and he found out that she gave herself to me through videos and pictures…yet I refused to propose to her. I told him to propose is not an issue but marry her in one month is an issue cos I have no money to take care of a wife now. The pastor said if I don’t marry Devine, that I will be going against God’s will for my life…ha …see me o.
The pastor said I should stop making excuses and marry her afterall, I have seen how she is behaving irrational because I tried to make love to her and since then, she has not been herself. After that meeting with the pastor, I had to tell my family about Devine. I could see that they want me to be happy but they feel like I am being pressured to marry someone I just met less than six months.
I tried to explain to the pastor and Devine that ok,….maybe we can do the marriage by the end of the year but they said no. Devine said she just wants us to marry so she can have s3x with me without feeling bad. I told her we can have s3x without getting married cos me, I don’t believe in all that you must marry before s3x…cos that means many people will go to hell na. Many people even pastors had s3x before marriage. Depends on the individual jare…
Devine is insisting on marriage … Now, I am wondering why the rush? they know I like Devine but why the rush? are they trying to blackmail me? I never had s3x with her,….I almost did but I stopped…she was the one sending me pictures and videos…I never asked for it. And if she wants s3x so badly…we can have it…they should free me jare. I told Devine to leave me alone if she feels I am not being fair to her.
The next thing she is sending me insults that God will judge me for leading her on…she and her pastor believe that I will never have a successful marriage with anyone else in my life…Do you think there is more to this marriage matter? I feel like I am being pressured against my wish…being blackmailed. Or am I being unnecessarily paranoid? What should I do?
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