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True Life Story: To Marry & Suffer With A Poor Or Rich Man-Which Is Better?

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True Life Story: To Marry & Suffer With A Poor Or Rich Man-Which Is Better??

Hello Lively Stones,

Hide my identity. I am a 32 years old woman with 2 children. I live with my baby daddy for the past 6 years, we are yet to be officially married but he regards me as his wife  and our families are in support. The issue is that, we are not yet financially buoyant for wedding ceremony.

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We actually met by circumstance. I had left the village seven years ago to Lagos for greener pastures. I was staying in my elder sister’s one room apartment but things were very tough for her. She was always shouting at me, maltreating me. The worse was, her boyfriend raped me repeatedly and she said I was the one seducing the guy. I had no choice, I had to move in with my boyfriend, now my husband who at the time, was a free lance property agent.

I got pregnant and since then, that has been our story. Like I said, things have been bad financially. I have done all kinds of business but because my husband does not have a stable job, any money I make either as sales girl or cleaner or petty trader has gone into running our home and we are always broke. Truthfully, the suffering has been too much. At times, I feel like just giving up.

ALSO READ: True Life Story: My Girlfriend Has Changed Since I Asked Her To Marry Me

Since this year, I do not know how we survived. Now, my husband has not gotten any commission cos he has not sold any property as an agent. So, what he does is sleep all day at home or watch movies all day. I was helping a woman clean her house in Lekki until last month where I quit cos the woman’s husband wanted to sleep with me. Since then, no job.

I want to start selling food in the evenings in my area but no money to even start …money to pay the man who’s space I will use or money to buy food items to cook the food. My sister refused to help me. My parents are poor in the village. Someone in our compound gave me an idea;to go into one estate close to our house, to go from house to house and ask if anyone needs someone to wash clothes for them.

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So, I went to the estate and did that for several days before I met a man who is divorced. he said ok, that I can be washing and ironing his clothes and he will pay me 10k a week. I was so happy. I started 3 weeks ago. At the end of the week, I went to him to give me the 10k…he said he will double the money to 20k if I let him f*ck me. I told him no, that I cannot do that cos I am married.

This man told me that I am not married cos no man married to a pretty woman like me will allow me to be washing peoples clothes. I told him things are hard for us. When he asked what my husband does, I told him nothing. He then said, that I should take the 20k,…let him sleep with me, just a business arrangement. I did not want to but that day, no food in my house. My son that is 4 years old had not gone to school for 4 days cos we have not paid school fees and no food to give him to eat.

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In my head, I know what the 20k can do for us and so I agreed. This man f*cked me for almost 3 hours. I was exhausted but one thing he made sure happened was that I also enjoyed it. Being with my husband for six years, I never experienced what they called Orgasm. This man explained that having s3x with any woman, he wants to make sure the woman also enjoys it and experience orgasm.

This was new to me. I was raped by my sister’s boyfriend…my husband and I only have s3x when he likes and he is done under max…10mins. I never knew I was supposed to enjoy s3x. That was what lured me more into this arrangement. Apart from getting paid for it…I was seriously enjoying it. He even taught me about using contraceptives to avoid pregnancy.

ALSO READ: True Life Story: How I Lost Control And Found Myself Entangled With A Married Woman

See, since my husband lost his job, we have not been having s3x. We have been quarrelling so much and he has been calling me his bad luck that s3x has not even crossed my mind. I know he cheats cos he sleeps all day and goes out in the evening and comes back late or next day. When I ask him where he went, he will say he went to look for job…which job do they look for in the night? That is how I know he is seeing other girls.

Anyway, with my new found pleasure, I forgot about my husband. I actually had money now to save and take care of my children. I was getting 20k every week. And I was f*cking this man every day. Last weekend, after a very wonderful round, this man asked me to marry him. I thought he was joking but he says he has fallen in love with me. And he wants to take care of me and my children.

This man wants to take me out of poverty to live with him in the estate , in his big house. How do I say no to this? Not only is he able to care for me and my children, he is also a good f*cker. I am not ashamed to say that …maybe cos I just realized what I have missed for 6 whole years. Plus that, my so called husband…has not paid a dime for my marriage and from the way things are…he cannot afford it even in 5 years time.

When I told my sister about it, she said I should better accept the man’s proposal or she will snatch him from me…lol…meaning, this is a huge opportunity I must not miss. My only issue now is, one:I know my husband will never allow me take the children if I decide to leave him cos anytime we quarrel, he use to say, I should drop his children for him and leave his house. Number 2, I asked the man why he got divorced, he said his wife cheated on him and ran to America with her boss.

From what I found out, the house he is living in, his ex wife built it with him. I hope the ex wife will not come back one day and demand for her rights. When I asked him, he said, he has told her, by cheating on him, she has forfeited her rights as a wife even the house. I know that one is somehow. But the last and final issue is: this man has alot of women in his life. All of them I knew about but he said I am the one he chose because he need a woman like me.

A woman that will stay home and take care of the home. That he does not want his wife to work to avoid what happened with the first wife. He said he will put me on 100k monthly allowance for myself, apart from house keeping money. I know I don’t have a job now and I don’t mind being a house wife but I am scared that being a house wife means that he can always control my life.

Today, he is sweet and nice. What if things change tomorrow and he does not allow me to work? I am confused and need advice. Do I still accept his proposal after the 3 things that are bothering me? If I do not take the proposal…should I continue to suffer with a man who does not love me, cannot take care of me or cannot marry me properly? What should I do?

Two days ago, my husband confronted me, saying he suspects I cam cheating on him and said I must stop my work. I refused, he took a heavy shoe and hot my face with it. I had a nasty cut on my forehead. I am really confused and tired of the suffering. I know marrying my new man will not be easy but Is it not better to suffer in money than to suffer in poverty?

And before anyone says I abandoned my man cos he was poor, note, its not just the poverty that is the issue. Is that he is lazy and he does not treat me right. So, to Marry A Poor man Or Rich Man, which Suffering Is Better?

Please do not judge me…I am only thinking of my future and my children’s future. I have suffered enough. I need advice.

Anonymous

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Jzhane
Jzhane
A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J

5 COMMENTS

  1. I feel for you my dear sister. I wouldn’t advice you marry the new man. Asides your reasons, you might suffer more when you become his wife. What if he doesn’t keep his promise? What if he turns you to his slave or punching bag considering that you don’t have anyone neither are you financially stabilized. Tomorrow is not assured. I will advice you not to have sex with either of them, rather ask/beg him to settle you on a business first no matter how small. He should open a business in your name so you can manage, you will be available for the kids and him whenever he wants you but have something to depend on. Also, that man is probably still married to his wife so don’t believe him fully. Your partner is not guaranteed either

  2. You are not married sister, you are fornicating with both men. To me, you are not remorseful at all. You know what you are doing is very wrong and sin.

    Stop fornicating and act right. Forget the man totally, you see you are destroying yourself so much, i doubt that man is divorced. Also you tried to justify your evil act with sebi he goes out at night…no no no sister, you are responsible for your actions.

    Act right sister.

  3. We have creatures that can hide their true colors very well. You better take your time. The grass is not always green on the other side. Let him give you 200k as two months upront payment. Start any business with the money. Then Continue posting him. He may get tired himself. I know it’s the great sex that is confusing you. Try use your brain and you will realize sometimes it takes more than having money to be happy and content.

  4. Comment:I think you’re just blinded by the money and material object. Yes its not easy on your end but believe it or not this thing you’re about to do will birth whole lot of regrets. Funny you mentioned how your husband doesn’t love you no more cus of good sex.
    Take yourself out of your body and then look t it from a different vantage point.

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