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True Life Story: Stuck In A Loveless Marriage Because Of My Husband’s Ambition

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True Life Story: Stuck In A Loveless Marriage Because Of My Husband’s Ambition

Hello Lively Stones,

Please hide my details. I am very sad because I feel trapped in my marriage. Ten years ago, I married my husband. I met him as a Politian. His first wife had actually left him and travelled to UK with their son. Coming into his life, he was very fun and caring despite his busy schedule as a politician. I was never about his socialization which had many woman at his beck and call….as long as he was mine to come home to in the end.

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Two years later, he won a major political position (I cant mention the position for safety reasons.). We were all so proud of him. But then, our marriage suffered it. He was attending to matters of state and politics…I was supposed to keep up my political assignments as his first lady and also the children but we saw each other less and less.

I did not want to complain…I only wanted him to succeed, so I supported him 100%. My husband too was a hard worker….he wanted to make a difference in this country where corruption is the order of the day. His political opponents were not letting him rest one bit. Like I said…I tried not to complain but our marriage suffered….our s3x life suffered. He had more side chicks than before, so when we even made love maybe once in 2 months, it was like, he was always tired and it was just for some sloppy seconds.

ALSO READ: My Decision To Remain In A Loveless Marriage Is Breaking My Heart-Pls Advise

Again, I resolved not to complain. He forgot important things like wedding anniversary or birthdays. Even though I sent him reminders. His PAs were not helping the home front. They did not help him remember his family responsibilities at all. The second year of his time in office…for our second anniversary…I planned a surprise trip…gave him details a month before…I made sure his aides reminded him in his diary but he still did not show up.

I cried that day and consoled myself. Not too long, I started hearing rumors that one of his side chick is pregnant for him. I confronted him and he denied it. But he kept spending more and more time with this particular woman. She eventually gave birth and my husband told me he was not marrying her but he will take responsibility for her child. I felt betrayed.

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Our marriage grew more distant. I was feeling so neglected more and more. When I moved with wives of other politicians, I heard rumors of them having secret lovers to keep them warm but I never considered it. But as my case got worse…I became desperate. However, I did not know how to do it. An idea came to me…I saw it in a movie…so I decided to try it. I started flirting with my driver.

When I am in the car alone with him…I would unbutton my shirt and rub my tits. At first…he tried to look away but after several times, he got the message and began to watch me…the day  told him to f*ck me…it was in my guest room…he did not hesitate and that was how our affair started. There is something about having an affair…the excitement and the dangerous feeling of not being caught makes it more s3xy.

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Its not like I am advocating for cheating but if your partner has abandoned you and he is getting his groove on…why should you die in lust? This affair lasted for five years. Even after my husband’s re-election. I think my husband suspected but he did not care. Lanre (my driver) and I fell in love and he was my everything. He was my confidant and my light. I began to regret my marriage.

Yes, I was married to a wealthy man but what is all the wealth without love and warmth and touch and feelings? Lanre even dumped his fiancée for me. He was serious about me. At first, it was just s3x…Lanre was a f*cker….he is a real man…but when we fell in love…he became a legend in my eyes. As it is…my husband’s tenure is coming to an end…Lanre wants me to divorce my husband because he wants to marry me.

To me…I would do that in a hurry…without thinking…but I know my husband….cheating he would not mind…but to go off and marry someone he considers low in class…he would make sure I suffer cos he does not want embarrassment. He would make sure I do not see my children. Once we quarreled and I told him I wanted a divorce…he said never would he grant a divorce…maybe after his tenure but I should know that I cannot take the children.

My husband has threatened to use his political power to make sure that if I divorce him…I do not see my children again. I am not ready to sacrifice my children but Lanre is quitting after this tenure which ends on less than one year cos he said he cannot keep loving me in secret…he wants to move on with his life.

ALSO READ: We Have To Wait For Six Years Before Getting A Divorce-Pls Advise

So, I have to decide before the end of the tenure…do I quit my marriage, forfeit my children and go with the love I have known, the love that have been my comforts for so long? Or do I let Lanre go to stay stuck in a loveless marriage? Its obvious…our marriage is just for political outlook…my husband has more side chicks that any man I know with bastard children everywhere.

This is not how I pictured my life. My husband has said if I want the divorce…I should do it after his tenure…during the campaign…so it he can marry that woman who gave birth for him…to stand as his first lady during his campaign. He cannot divorce me, cos he wants to maintain the perfect family picture for his political advantage.

My family do not want me to leave my marriage because they know my husband is going for a higher political office…they want me to remain his first lady so they can continue to enjoy the benefits of my husband’s political career. That is why I am sad because I feel stuck. Lanre is not going to agree to this secret affair for another 8 years.

Please advice me. Staying will make everyone else happy except me. But leaving will cost me so much. Most of you maybe aware of a popular politician who seized their children from their mother and the poor woman has not seen her kids for years. I do not want that to be my case but does that mean I have to sacrifice my chance of ever being in love and being happy?

Anonymous

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Jzhane
Jzhane
A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J

3 COMMENTS

  1. FFK later allowed his estranged wife to see her children after 2years ooo please.

    You already knew what you were going into when you agreed to marry your husband,most politicians hardly have time for their family,you married him for fame,money and enjoyment but that is not all that is required in marriage.

    You will not leave your marriage for the sake of your children,you have to manage through because of your children. You will also stop seeing your driver,put a stop to it this minute,your husband must not find out about him,it’s been 5years now but remember one day is one day,all hidden secrets will be made known,and it will be disastrous.

    Your husband can use his political powers to destroy you and the driver,this was exactly what made his first wife to leave him.
    Prayer can solve this matter but at the same time,this is your husband’s nature,may God help him.

    Stay in that marriage for the sake of yourself, family and children,be warned! You saw it before entering. Peace

  2. Madam,
    If Lanre loves you enough and truly, he wont want you to leave all (including your children) to be with him!
    The world is changing and theres awareness about self love, which i see its playing out for you here. Theres emptyiness at a point while trying to live for others while youre not happy yourself as a woman.
    But you need patience and taking the bull by the horn to do somethings:
    Firstly, its better to end what you have with Lanre. If bubble bursts and your hubby knows, then you can be sure that you’re on- your- own. Its not love , its not commitment you both share. Theres a vacuum and Lanre happens to fill it, thats all.

    Secondly, try use wisdom to follow your husband till the end of the tenure. Hopefully, you wont have to be firstlady again , you can discuss (prayerfully) the option of relocating abroad with your children. start a new life with them. You ll re-discover yourself in a new enviroment with your children.
    i dont think any man is worth leaving them for , pls give yourself patience till next year and plan towards starting a life with the children.
    it ll be well.
    Peace.

  3. No matter how you justify your adultery, you are TOTALLY RESPONSIBLE for your adultery, you had the choice to say no but you said yes to it.

    I wish you knew the consequence of adultery, you will run as fast as you can, we have gotten so greedy that we see adultery has a small thing.

    No no no, Lanre doesn’t love you, you yourself know its not love but lust and wicked affections.

    I really pity you woman, you know what to do about this issue,but wll you do it. Go have a rethink about your life.

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