Hello Lively Stones,
Not minding the fact that most singles think otherwise. But, living together with your partner before marriage can actually ruin your relationship.
In fact, couples who shared a roof together before marriage are more likely to get divorced, than couples who didn’t. And while the stigma attached to living together has all but faded away. Some experts, and we are not talking about religious teachers here, but prominent relationship experts across the board, still warn that sharing a house with your boyfriend before marriage, creates far more risks than benefits to a relationship.
“The rate of divorce is higher; about 50 percent higher among those who live together before marriage”, says Larry Bumpass, PhD, Professor of Sociology at the University of Wisconsin. Other studies show that, for myriad reasons, living with someone at any time in your life makes you more prone to divorce, regardless of whether that person becomes your spouse or not.
“Based on the Scientific evidence, l’d recommend partners not to live together before marriage”, says Catherine Cohen, assistant Professor of human development and family studies at Penn State University. Cohen continued,
“There is nothing to indicate that it will help your marriage, and there is actually accumulating evidence that it could have negative consequences.”
But if you are not convinced with the above assertions, and you still plan to move in with your boyfriend before marriage. Then please steer clear of the following mistakes that most ladies tend to commit, when moving in with their boyfriends.
If you plan to set up house with your boyfriend, then you have to be smart about it, since cohabitation doesn’t provide the same kind of insurances that marriage does.
Besides, if the relationship falls apart, there are no rules on how to divide the stuff you have acquired together. So don’t you ever make any major purchases together: like expensive furniture, a car, a house, a piece of land, or set up a business together; unless you have a written agreement drawn up, detailing ownership.
At first, it may seem like an unromantic thing to do, especially when the love butterflies are still running around in your stomach. But if you don’t, then be prepared to find yourself in a court-room later on, when the relationship had gone South.
Don’t you ever merge your money together with your boyfriend’s. Let his money be his money, and your money, your money. Keep separate bank accounts and don’t pay each other’s bills. Many women offer to pay off their guy’s bills and loans, because they think they will eventually get married to them. Likewise, don’t get into a situation where you become dependent on your boyfriend’s financial footing.
Don’t get sloppy with birth control. Never let your guards down, and start taking in, once you start cohabiting with your boyfriend, thinking that your pregnancy will trap him into getting married to you at once, even when he isn’t ready for marriage yet.
Unwanted Pregnancy is high among partners that cohabit together before marriage, as compared to those that don’t. And unlike belongings; children cannot be easily divided if you split up.
More from Lively Stones
- True Life Story: Everything Backfired When I Reached Out To My Ex-Boyfriend For Help
- True Life Story: Why I Am Having Doubts About My New Boyfriend
If you get pregnant, you may feel that you should get married, even if you are not happy with the relationship. And that’s not the best way to start a marriage!
And if you rush into marriage, because of an unwanted pregnancy, Then, be prepared to rush into divorce sooner than later!
Finally, cohabiting with your boyfriend before marriage more often than not leads to a situation, where the guy increasingly starts getting less motivated to walk you down the aisle.
This phenomenon can be termed the “see finish” phenomenon in the local parlance. A kind of situation where the guy involved is already getting everything he needs from a wife; from the lady who is currently cohabiting with him. Hence, he sees no need whatsoever to go through all the hassles and financial burdens of a formal marriage process.
The guy is thinking;
“lf l’ve already gotten this girl to live with me and offer me all the domestic services and ‘bedmantics’ that a wife gives her husband. Then, why should l go through all the stress, and spend all the money, all in the name of formally marrying her?”
Dear sister, lf you don’t want the above scenario to be your portion, Then you better desist from that your plan of cohabiting with your boyfriend before marriage.
But if you still insist on doing so;
Please don’t say l didn’t warn you oo!
I’m outta here
Ciao!
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