I Am In Love With A Divorcee-How Do I Know Its Not Only Lust & Seduction?
I have been living with my parents for some time now. I actually started thinking of relocating back to Lagos from Abuja. That is why I am in my parents home until I find a place of my own. My parents are retired and very lovely people who live in a very big house.
They are always helping people who need help, especially their church people. I know how many people they have accommodated in our home over the years. Our house is big and there are always strangers with us cos of my parents big and accommodating heart.
When I got back to stay in Lagos, I met a young and beautiful lady living with my parents. Lets call her Faith. Faith looked around 26 or 27…very pretty with beautiful smile. My parents were supporting her because she needed a place to stay for a while.
Again, she is a church member who is suffering depression from the beating she has been getting from her husband. She has a child but the husband took the child from her and they have been separated for a year.
Faith tried to commit suicide and her family is worried. My family know her family and suggested she come live with my parents in Lagos to try and start life afresh. Her divorce from her husband just got finalized too.
When I got back home, Faith and I clicked. We became friends and I was happy she began to smile after a while. I think she liked me too. I used to love gisting with her…watching her cook and do chores cos she became like a chef in our house since she was not working.
Faith knew I have a Fiancée in Abuja. I talk to my Fiancée talk every day and Faith used to say how lucky my fiancée was to have a guy like me. But as time went on,Faith and I became extremely close that it was obvious we were flirting with each other.
I tried to be cautious but I was getting too attracted to her everyday. I decided to cut her off, reduce my interaction with her. She noticed that and that really affected her. She began to beg me and ask me not to ignore her cos I am the only friend she has.
I had to tell her that I was only being careful cos I did not want us to make a mistake cos I have a fiancée. Faith agreed to be strictly platonic with me. Or so I thought. What she then began to do, almost killed me.
Faith began to dress very seductive around me. She was seducing me but also ignoring me..does that make any sense? I could not focus and instead of running away as fast as my leg could carry me…I started going after her…I didn’t like that she was ignoring me while seducing me with her killer looks.
Eventually….an opportunity presented itself. My parents travelled to Ile Ife a while ago. We were alone in the house but Faith kept passing by me, dressed in a see through lingerie. She gave me several seductive looks for a long time and went back to her room.
That was my cue. I went to her room…and she was stark naked and my defenses were gone. I made love to Faith and it was the best experience I wont lie. We both had held back our feelings for far too long. We made love all through the weekend throughout that night into Saturday and Sunday.
My parents arrived on Sunday night but Faith sneaked into my room that night. We kept sneaking every night…Unfortunately, my mother caught us and she was really upset. My mother likes my fiancée a lot and she was very upset that I was sleeping with another woman under her roof.
My mother then asked Faith to move out of our house. She gave her till month end to move out. Faith is threatening suicide if she cannot be with me. My parents are blaming me cos they feel I took advantage of Faith or I let her seduce me.
My parents have asked me not to choose between Faith and my fiancée… they also feel Faith is not mentally stable cos she is managing depression. They feel Faith is just needing a man to cling unto…because of her situation and not because she loves me.
But my confusion is that I think Faith genuinely loves me…I think she never had any man treat her like I do…I feel I can make her happy and she can make me happy…my parents have asked her to leave and she has no where to go to. I got her money and a place to stay temporarily.
Its a bit tough cos my parents have said they will never agree to a relationship with Faith cos they prefer my Fiancée. I love Faith alot. And she keeps saying, her life is nothing without me . I think mine will be hard without her. We have grown to really love each other
I want to break up with my fiancée cos I feel I no longer love her as much. Faith is all I think about now. But right now, my parents are really adamant. They say I am making a mistake …I think they also feel Faith is seducing and I am just lusting after her S.e.xy body…how do I make them see that I am not making a mistake…
I really feel bad for making my parents upset… Yes…I feel unhappy cos my parents feel I let them down…but Faith is counting on me to not let her down…how do I sort all these…I know I love Faith but do you think its just lust or seduction for her? ….please advise me…
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Please keep away from the faith for now.
I think what you have for her is plain lust.
From your write-up I perceive Faith as manipulative. You need more emotional intelligence to handle this one. Take some time away from home, away from Faith, go somewhere and clear your mind. You just getting to know Faith, take the S.e.x and the pity away, would she have more to offer? Marriage is deep. I feel you are just a rebound for her and for someone that’s going through depression, they tend to be clingy when they feel loved.
I also feel you never loved your fiancée and if she’s lovely as your parents think I think she deserves better than a cheating partner. All the best!
It’s all lust, two adults on dry spell living under 1 roof. Differntuate beingvsympathtic to her plight, feeling for her and loving her. As mentioned above, Faith is also manipulative, beware of people who threaten suicide upon a slight provocation.
Bia young man leave Faith alone and listen to your parents.This is pure lust,you better desist before its too late
Faith deliberately seduced you and you fell headlong. This is not love but lust.
Stay away from her. You will regret marrying her.
Please, go back to your fiancee.
Mr man, focus on your fiancee and leave faith alone. You might think you love her but time will tell.
Bia Young man you don’t love Faith go back to your fiancee but you must come clean and apologize to her and receive her forgiveness. You don’t love Faith you are just lusting after her S.e.xy body. She is depressed and she is using you as a rebound. Go very far away from her let her kill herself if she wants which am sure she won’t do cos she is manipulative.
When you have s*x before falling in love, that love may not be anything more than lust.
Fall in love with the person…not their body.
This lady is not emotionally stable…she is depressed….she is not in a good shape to be truly in love and you too are not in love but you are feeling responsible for her happiness which is not a good place to be.
You and your family should help her get psychiatric help and maybe find a female NGO that has shelter for women like her.
You cannot help her…you are going into a deep rabbit hole by thinking this is love…
You will both be hurt in the end.
End this now….and let her get help without your emotions involved.
All the best