HomeAdviceMarried Friend Replies- I Am Not A Hypocrite I Am A Realist

Married Friend Replies- I Am Not A Hypocrite I Am A Realist


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Married Friend Replies- I Am Not A Hypocrite I Am A Realist

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First of all, I do not owe this ‘poster; any response but after reading what mama wrote in the WhatsApp group, I want to expose who this so called ‘friend’ of mine that posted about me. For the records, she posted me because I told her about LS and she is jealous bitch who is looking for few seconds of fame.

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I am going to call her Dada cos her head is not correct. Yes, we used to be friends long long ago but I found Jesus and I left most of my bad influences way back. I have not heard from Dada for so long but she messaged me on facebook few weeks ago that she was coming to town for a wedding and I innocently invited her to visit me when she comes around.

Dada came to my place after her so called wedding, when she saw how well I was doing, all she kept saying is:there is hope for Ashawo o. Meaning, that if someone like me can change and find a decent man to marry, that means there is hope for her.

Of course, I encouraged her by saying God will give her own man who will love her like my own husband. What is wrong with that prayer? I never knew she was upset. I never showed her that I am better than her in any way. Her conscience must be troubling her cos she is still a runs girl.

Anyway, Dada left my place after we spent almost 5 hours gisting and eating in my house. That evening, she tried to call me when she got to her hotel but the network was bad. Later, she called me saying she saw my ex with my husband in her hotel. Next thing she started calling me ashawo wey dey f*ck her ex and husband together. Ha…I immediately got angry and cursed her back after she said she was going to sleep with my ex that night.

For me, I do not care about her or what my ex does but my issue is, she did not even ask me how my husband and ex came to know each other, she just assumed. And then I panicked cos I have not told my husband about Tola and myself. My husband truly sees Tola as a mentor cos Tola is a kind soul even if he is a womanizer.

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Tola and myself had a s8xual relationship in the past but it became more like business later on. Tola was the one who encouraged me to come out of ashawo business but he wanted me to be his side chick, only servicing him. Thank God, I found Jesus, so I started my business and Tola gave me 5M capital money.

That is why I call him my mentor. Tola and myself have not had s*x since he gave me 5M. He says I can keep the money as his contribution to my freedom. But now and again, Tola makes advances but I always tell him no, cos I was getting married. We remained friends since. When my husband needed contact in Abuja for a contract, Tola helped him.

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My husband is a good man, he never questioned me about my past and he trusts me. I will never betray that trust. So when Dada started saying rubbish, I panicked and lied against her to her boyfriend in my panic but truly, I do not have anything with Tola. I swear to God who made me. I just got angry cos Dada was making it seem like I was a bad wife because I introduced my husband to an ex.

My husband never asked about my relationship with Tola in the best. Yes, old things are past away. People like Dada are dying of envy when they see that people like me actually are making it in life despite how we started. This is my story. I have no apology to give to Dada…I overreacted but she is not a saint either. How am I sure she did not actually sleep with Tola? Tola likes woman na.

Dada is just wicked and a gossip. And such people will never find peace…she is looking for fame or husband but she cannot get cheap fame by telling lies and saying things that are not real. Why come to say rubbish in LS? Thank God many people called her envious and wicked. I rest my case.

As for my husband, he does not care about my past…maybe he suspects Tola was a former s*x  client of mine, he does not care but if someone like Dada thinks she can use my past against me, I will fight her to the teeth. She has not seen crazy …I do not have time for rubbish.

Should I have told my husband about Tola? What good will that bring but unnecessary suspicion and we miss business connections that the relationship we have enjoyed. Tola obviously lied that he was still sleeping with me…maybe its his fantasy, well, good for him but but will never happen.

Am I the only woman in the whole world doing business with her ex? Remember, I was a runs girl for the money, not for love…Tola is about money…no love…only my husband is for love.

So, if my story does not still make sense to Dada or anyone, they should drink water. I cannot come and kill myself. Dada concentrate on quitting Ashawo business and find your onw good man. Then you tell your husband all about the men you have slept with and never talk to them again even if its for business.

Again should I have told my husband? The day my husband finds out, I believe we will cross that bridge (anyone who thinks my husband should know should explain what good that will do, besides, I still do business with some of my old clients, I mean, legitimate business, should I also stop talking to everyone I have a past with or tell my husband I f8cked them before I can do business?)

I am not a saint, I have made mistakes before and I am willing to learn but If Dada or any one tries to scatter my marriage….I will not hesitate to fight back. I know where her secrets are buried still. Let us not go there, it might result in regrets.

Thank you.

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A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J


  1. So pathethic
    All she could do now, is to tell her husband about Tola and her past life cos the husband knows but since love covers all things should not make her not to confide in her husband cos the man is human.

    If the push gets to shore and the husband can not take it any longer based on a lot of rumour and how some people will bastardise her past life, except God intervene, the man might have a change of heart.

    Open up to your husband, you both will be able to fight external forces but if you keep it, I’ very sorry for unforeseen circumstances which you might not be able to bear.

    Then as for Dada, her friend, ignore her to the core but handle everything in prayers since you now know Christ and have Him as Your Personal Saviour And Lord Jesus Christ.

    PRAYER IS THE MASTER KEY. I wish you best of the best in your marriage. God Bless your Home.

  2. Only both of you know what the truth is, it doesn’t cost anything to post on a blog, I only based my former comment on what she posted, cos I dont ever support adultery and never will.

    But I must say this, you said you are still contact with Tola and some other men you had S.e.xual affairs with, I MUST tell you this dear sister, I strongly advise you to stop if you can, you are not a superwoman, you are not infallible only GOD is

    But its your choice cos you said Tola still flirts with you so you see its dangerous, I mean very dangerous.

    Both of you know what the truth is.

  3. Dear poster: I understand you have a dirty past, but it’s best you open up to your husband about your past relationship with tola, because if tola gets to open up first to your husband it will create doubts and your hubby will be really disappointed in you for not hearing it from you first…if tola could lie to dada what makes you think he won’t be able to lie to your husband? It will get to a point tola we get jealous and decide to spill it all out to your hubby, I just hope by then it’s not too late…you introduced your husband to him because of business deals, I feel at that point you are self-centered….if you have really repented and telling the truth God will see you…you said your husband trust you so much, please don’t break his trust, I advise you tell him yourself before he hears it from another, because it’s better he hears it from you, but be prepared for anything that comes with it… also tola is being self-centered by still wanting you even if he knows you are married, that’s really dangerous dear, please cut off from anyone that will make you go back to your old altitude cos if you don’t, I’m afraid you may regret it later…don’t think of now, think of the days to come, love and light dear ✌️.

    • I’m not trying to judge you but from my observation,,:

      1, Why will you introduce an ex to your hubby without telling your hubby about your past relationship?
      2, You sound jealous even if you don’t want to admit it from the part your friend said she’s spending the night with your said mentor….
      From your write up you said tola is a sweet and kind guy…do you know it’s very hard not to fall for an ex that is sweet, caring and also rich, most especially if the said ex haven’t wronged you in any way….
      Madam I just hope you are telling the truth cos if you are not, I leave you to God and your conscience…..✌️

  4. U said u are still in contact with ur old clients and u don’t know that this is a strong temptation for u to go back to ur old ways, I can tell u for free that if u don’t totally distance urself from tola then u will be back in ur old ways in no time.if u are still in contact with tola just for business as u claim knowing fully well that might lead u to ur former way then u don’t understand what it takes to be born again,so u mean that the Jesus that saved u from sin can’t provide for u without tola and other clients, remember u are the only one that is born again not ur tola and former clients and even ur friend,God said in his word that he has provided for the believer all that pertains to life and godliness so u don’t need tola in ur life to succeed but if u can’t give up the relationship u have with tola and other clients just because of business then the salvation u claim u have don’t mean anything to u and soon u will lose it.
    For ur friend it is obvious she is just envious and jealous but I am not surprised because what do u expect from a person who hasn’t seen the light of Christ but I am more surprised at ur response,u using all kinds of unprintable words on someone, lying and even ready to fight to the teeth just because one unsaved person is acting in an unsaved way,5 years of being born again then u need to grow up and pray to God to help u with fruit of the spirit of patience, long-suffering, temperance.
    But to be honest, I am tempted to believe tola that u are his current girl friend because we are in a world where people don’t term many of this present day S.e.xual relations like touching, fingering,phone S.e.x and many more as adultery or fornication.Even if u haven’t had anything at all with tola then my advise is
    Rededicate ur life to Christ
    Tell ur husband about tola, tomorrow tola might just want to blackmail u
    Cut off totally from old clients including ur Dada friend
    Consistently pray for ur family

  5. Quite complicated, did you text ‘Dada’s boyfriend’? If so why, since you no more have a S.xual relationship with Tola.

    The Bible says the truth will make you free, if you did text her boyfriend she may very well reach out to your husband to let him know either about your past or what ‘Dada’ believes is the truth now.

    If you have nothing to hide since you got married, you have nothing to be afraid of. Pray and let your husband know the nature of relationship you share with Tola etc. If you have defaulted since you married, turn a new leaf.

    You may also want to apologise to ‘Dada’ for any hurtful word you said to her and she should as well, both of you should face your lives going forward and not try to drag each other to the mud.

    May God strengthen you both to embrace new chapters in your life and leave the past behind.

    • To add ‘Dada’ the Bible says Marriage is honourable in all, if the stories about your friend is not the truth , please forgive and do not take any action to disrupt your friends marriage, what goes around comes around… you’ll be married someday. Whatever God has put together let no man put asunder.

      Are you 100 percent sure you can go by Tola’s words? Do you have proof?

      If these allegations are true they will eventually come to light except for mercy & total repentance.

      Both of you should stop hurting each other.

      All the best

  6. It’s funny how people still lie on a faceless forum when seeking for good counsel. What’s the essence of coming here if your story will be diluted? As diluted as your story, that’s how diluted the advise you will you get.

    My sister with the husband, a lot of things you mentioned there are questionable and to be honest, I actually believe the story of your friend more than your own, as I think you only came here just to save face and paint a good picture for yourself incase this issue was talked about in the future between you and your husband.

    Anyways that’s not what I want to talk about. My main concern is you calling yourself a believer and you still went to lie so much to spoil the relationship of your friend. Why are you so bitter? I guess you are just the church / religious type and not a true or faithful believer. Cos if you were, the Holy Spirit would have given you the fruit of patience and love. You really need to read these Bible books (1 Corinthians 13: 4-7, 1 John 4 : 7-21) to understand what love is. What you did it to her relationship is totally bad. It’s shameful that even she that you referred to as a sinner didn’t have such mind to call your husband and lie (or say the truth) to him that you are cheating. It was you that did that.

    O wrong nau. So that’s why I even find it hard to believe there’s nothing between you and Tola. For you to feel so much hatred towards your friend, definitely there’s something cos if we are to go by your own version of the story, the born again you (a religious person) will know that, you are not supposed to worry (1 Peter 5: 6-7) as you are to only leave everything in God’s hand.

    Better end all dirty relationships that you might still be in. If there’s none again, your mind and spiritual self will be able to function well as a righteous Believer. But if you are still living in sin due to connections with all these old clients, then you need to rededicate your life back to Christ by cutting them off. If you were truly born again, you are losing that Salvation. Reseek God’s suffering and glorification (Gospel) again. I pray God bless you with His peace, wisdom and understanding.



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