Hello,
I really do not want to sound inconsiderate but I really need to breakup with my girlfriend but I do not know how to tell her. When I met her three years ago,she was a very simple girl. We were both working but earning below 70k at the time.
Those were simpler days. She was humble and very easy to please. But as God blessed her,she got a job in a fancy company in Lekki. She earns over 300 % of her previous earing.I began to notice changes. Gradually at first but before long,very noticeable changes.
She wanted to fit in the glam life. I do not have a problem with that. Everything changed. She moved to Lekki. She got glam cars and wanted glam friends. I was happy for her …as long as she was happy. I am not the type of guy that hates on his woman’s success.
To be fair to her,she was generous with the increase in her earning. We started saving cos we are planning to get married this year. I have met her family and she has met mine. Introduction has been done. But the changes I have seen in the last 6-9 months have made me really slow down and I want to break up.
First,she has become very flashy in her dressing. She spends a ton of money on clothes and make up. I like simple ladies with little or no make up. Now,her nails are so long and scary. Her face is made up with layers of pancake and she looks like all these desperate lagos big girls.
At first,I did not want to complain as I wanted her to be herself. But alas,she got deeper into this and I do not like it anymore. Three months ago,she started talking about plastic surgery for her but. I told her there was no need. She tried to convince me,told me it was the new normal.
I was made to understand that 7 out of 10 ladies in Lagos have done plastic surgery. She kept insisting so I gave in. It was her body and her choice right? She got it done and I must admit,she looks good with it. However,it only drew me apart from her. I began to dislike the kind of person she has become.
She noticed my withdrawal from her and instead of admitting that she is the one that has changed,she says I want to break up with her cos I have found someone else. That is not true. I have not found anyone else…I just do not like who she has become.
All she likes is post different make up pictures of herself on Instagram,showing off her butt. Seeking for likes and comments on her she looks. When I talk,she says I do not want her to be happy. Talks about that I am feeling insecure with her success…ha.
Agreed….I supported the plastic surgery but she forced my hand. She looks so fake and that is not the picture of a wife that I desire. How do I break up with her without looking like a bad person? I just cannot…her people might feel bad but I just cant…
I have been giving this a lot of thought…I am not happy with the way she looks and she says I want to change her…instead of arguing…should we not break up…let her be happy with herself…why do I have to look like a bad guy if I leave?
Please advise….
Anonymous Lively Stones Telegrams Member
Photo Credit:EbaumsWorld
I think it’s better you break up if you cant cope with her new lifestyle.
Hello,
Well, I think you need to calm down. The fact is,she did not change. She has always been like this. Its just that you met her when things were not very good for her so she did not really show who she was.
Money,they say,brings out the true character of a person. This is who she is. So,its imperative that you let her know that you fell in love with who you thought she was and not who she really is.
If you can love this real person,go ahead…if you cannot..then its ok to move on.
The only thing you need to do is make sure you explain to her and maybe her family the real reason you are moving because you are right,they may misinterpret your actions to mean that envious of her success or intimated by her new found lifestyle.
I could say to you, be patient with her. Try to love her even the way she is…cos she is not going to change even after marriage…if anything…it will get worse in marriage….however, I do not know how strong your convictions are,so finally its up to you.
I wish you all the best.
I understand your plight here.
Money magnifies our character.
You supported her all the way and didn’t show truly your resentment and dislike for those things from the beginning hence she sees your attitude now as an issue instead of hers.
I appreciate the fact you supported her all the way but marriage isn’t about taking what offend you and will continue to do for a lifetime.
Kindly sit and have a heart to heart talk and share your feelings and why you wish to move on.
She may change now to return to it later if she really wants you. It will be good to explain in detail to her and concerned family members why you want to cancel the engagement and end the relationship.
Your happiness is paramount as much as hers.
She needs freedom and so do you.
Be sure to not be roped into a life experience you will be sad living. If she changes for good, enjoy your relationship.
All the best.
You can talk to her heart to heart make her understand she is no longer that sweet smiple girl you use to know in a sweet nd lovely way
You need to talk to her calmly nd understandably… If you can’t cope. Then you breakup with her