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My Daughter Of 4+ Years Would Not Allow Me And Wife Have S3x At Night


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My Daughter Of 4+ Years Would Not Allow Me And Wife Have S3x At Night


Dear Esteemed Nairalanders of extreme wisdom, I have a 4+ year old daughter who is very curious and sleeps on the same bed with me and wife. Some days ago she almost caught me and wife having s3x, so in the morning she asked my wife what I was doing to her…lol. Most times I hug and kiss my wife in front of her and do same to her (in her case, a peck and she reciprocates back). This is our normal lives. Sometimes, when I hug my wife before her, she gets jealous..lol

I think we made a mistake in not allowing her get used to her room from day one. We had tried to make her see reasons why she can’t continue to sleep on same bed with us but it’s all falling on deaf ears. At a point, we forced her to her room and when she woke up around 2am, all hell was let loose, I felt sympathy and told my wife to allow her into our room.

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We can’t continue this way, so I need your advice (especially married couples with kids)

1. Did we make a mistake by letting her sleep on same bed with us considering she is just 4?

2. Is it too late to force her to her room?

3. How do we go about making sure she gets used to her room without disturbing us?

4. If she asks what we are doing at night, like the case where she almost caught us, what would be a good reply that would sound logical and educative for her own growth.

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5. Is her jealousy normal?


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  1. When you want to have sex, leave the room when she is asleep. Tell your wife to also sleep in her room occasionally, she with get used to it if your wife sleeps in her room.

  2. Your daughter can’t continue sleeping in your bedroom with you. It is not healthy. I must admit that getting her to adjust in her own room would take a while.
    Have another conversation with her. Come down to her level…Mummy and daddy have their room and she has to be in hers. After that conversation, whenever it’s time to sleep, take her to her room and tuck her to sleep(read her a story, sing her a song ,pray with her etc ) You need to be firm with this new routine because she’s not going to like it. When she starts throwing tantrums or crying, don’t let her win by allowing her go with you to your room. And don’t carry her in your hand or at your
    back either. Your wife or you should sit on the ground by her bedside and assure her. No amount of crying should make you change your mind.

    This is going to take some time but it’s worth the effort. Please search for SupperNanny on Facebook. Her videos are helpful in handling children. You can learn a thing or two from there.


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