HomeAdviceMy Girlfriend Is Very Attractive But I Suspect That She Is Bisexual

My Girlfriend Is Very Attractive But I Suspect That She Is Bisexual


- Advertisement -

My Girlfriend Is Very Attractive But I Suspect That She Is Bisexual


Good day ma,

I am not a bad person but I seriously need advise on this matter. I have known Brenda (not real name) for so many years. She is my sister’s friend. They used to go to the same secondary school and hang out and stuff. My sister is abroad now.

To be honest,Brenda is a beautiful woman and I know any man would be happy to be with her. I don’t know how she got entangled with a Lebanese man who did marriage introduction for her,she got pregnant and has a son of 2 years for the man.

The man since the introduction has not been to Nigeria since but sends money for up keep for Brenda and the baby. So,she goes around telling people her husband is abroad and she will soon join him. The man however stopped sending her money since January and things have been pretty difficult for her.

Somehow Brenda reached out to my sister to ask for help. My sister called me in Nigeria for help so I asked her to ask Brenda to send her account details. I sent her 100k. Brenda called me to thank me and I was like,no worries.She wanted to come to thank me personally so I gave her my number.

The woman that showed up at my door was stunning. I couldn’t believe how fine Brenda was looking. She spent the day with me,we gisted,caught up on old times,family and all sorts. I really enjoyed her company. Just before she left,she came at me,I was surprised. I asked her why,she said why not?

Brenda and I kissed before she left. Since then,we been chatting and getting all flirty. She said she has not been with a man for 2 years and she is thinking of moving on. Her Lebanese fiance keeps promising to return to marry her but she said she cannot keep waiting for him.

Long story short,Brenda and I have been inseparable since that day. We have great chemistry and the s*x is hot. We never discuss her relationship with her absentee fiance. I mean,its not like he is around but as things are getting hotter between us,I had to ask her cos just before Brenda showed up,I was in a relationship that really broke my heart.

Brenda made me believe she was done with her Lebanese baby daddy but she wont let me post pictures of us on social media. She said until things are officially over,like the man and her talk it over,that I should keep our relationship on the low.

Its been since a month now and I am beginning to feel Brenda is probably not ready to have ”the conversation” with her baby daddy. She keeps telling me he does not pick up her call. She wants to tell him she has moved on herself. Well, for someone who has not been calling you for a while,I feel like it’s obvious the man is not interested in her yet,Brenda wont let us go public with our relationship.

I have been thinking I should give her space until she is through with her ghost fiance but I maybe madly in love with her already. I confided in my sister who is her friend,she warned me to be careful with Brenda. That she go gist that Brenda’s Lebanese guy dumped her because she was caught having s*x with another woman.

So,it appears Brenda is a bisexual (lesbian or likes men and women). I confronted Brenda with what my sister said but she denied it. Said it was just a rumor. I told Brenda I was not comfortable with her cause I felt she was lying. Then she opened up and said she did have an affair with her boss cos after her Lebanese man left her,she was lonely and did not know when a friendly situation with her former boss turned s*xual.

That former boss of Brenda,there are pictures of her on Brenda’s Instagram as early as January and February. We started seeing each other from April. I am not insecure but why keep someone’s photo if you are no longer with them? Brenda swears that they are not together anymore. The crazy part is that the former boss is a single advanced woman. Could they still be secretly seeing?

Brenda swears that she is not a lesbian. How could she be when she is so good in bed with me? Clearly,she maybe into men and women. My fear now is,is she playing me? She said she loves me too. I should just give her some time to personally tell her baby daddy about us.

My question is: if you were in my shoes,what will you do? I am attracted to Brenda no doubt but the fact that she has  wants us to keep our relationship quiet is making me nervous. Should I trust her and give her some time? After all its just one month between us…

I wont lie,part of my nervousness is I do not want to loose her…what if she still has feelings for that woman or her baby daddy.. I cant help but wonder:is she truly over her them? Could that be the reason she wants to keep quiet about us? Cos,from the look of things,that Lebanese guy may not be interested in her after all.

Please advise me.


Email from Anonymous


Photo Credit:Curlcentric



Share This Story

- Advertisement -

Click Here to join our Bullet Proof Relationship Facebook Group

A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J


  1. Do you have personal values? That should influence your decisions not your libido. If she seems like bad news,she probably is.

  2. You already have the answers you seek.. your findings and your sister’s advise that you should leave Brenda is all you need to move on.they are friends and she knows her much better than you do..
    Brenda is insecere and I wouldn’t want you suffering another heart break. best of luck.

  3. It is just a month. You need to tone down and go slowly. You also need discretion to handle this effectively.You really did not know the lady. Conduct a private investigation on her. You will unveil Interestinh,maybe shocking realities. Suspend the marriage talk. This is the time to know Brenda, if you truly value your peace and tranquility.

  4. Telling you thank you on phone was not enough, she had to come personally and at the end kissed you? Tells a whole lot about her person , plus I think your train is moving too fast, take some time to evaluate before you sink deeper.

  5. But how it is possible for u to recover from a heartbreak n immediately fall in love again?how is that even possible?U really need to stay away from the woman n heal properly before giving in to another relationship, but certainly not that type that u are having with that woman,n in case u haven’t noticed, that Brenda of a girl is something else,she can silp anybody that comes her way,wenever she feels lonely,she looks for any available anybody to do her,weda man or woman it doesn’t mata, but the problem is that it really does mata a lot ,what kind of woman behaves like that? Be very careful with that girl before u regret ur life .
    For the records don’t forget what ur sister told u about that Brenda o she knows her more than u do oo,they said to be forearmed is to be forewarned

    Enjoy your day.

  6. I think the s*x with Brenda is clouding your mind, she’s good in bed but has a load of baggage which if not settled you may be in for another heart break soon.
    Be friends with her but give her space, limit the visits to your house until she has settled with her Lebanese guy.
    Still be watching her from a distance, give your new thing with her some space and see if it’s just the s*x she wants(she’s lonely) or you really love her person to go for her(you may just be blinded by her beauty).
    In all, I wish you all the best.

  7. Brenda seems like a mumble jumble of insecurities,weak willedness and low self esteem.she is easily swayed and too open to advances that she will even go after after men ..or maybe women herself.
    She wants to feel loved and cared for at the expense of her partner and hurt the ignorant ones in the process.
    I’m sure she is psychologically unstable.she is not the ideal woman for you.quit all communication and be warned because she might come at you with more s*xual aggression, don’t fall again because all she wants is to wrap you around her finger and control your head and mind.
    Flee !!!!

  8. First tell her to make the call in your presence to be sure the other guy was avoiding her call
    Secondly….do a private investigation on her private life to be sure if she’s done with her former boss as she said

  9. She is still somehow waiting on the fiance and don’t want to say yes to you then the uncle appears. She is hoping he will come back for her that’s why she is delaying.

    She said she is not lesbian which there Is no way you’ll know. It’s a month old so chill on the social media publicity so you won’t answer questions if it doesn’t work.
    Slow down. Don’t rush. Take your time.

  10. Danger alert…….bros stay away for your own good, with all these you now know about her…..I doubt if she’s sincere about the whole ish…..

    • My dear, don’t start what you can’t finish. You need to tell yourself the truth and stay away from her. I don’t think you need a second heartbreak, do you?
      Stop the s*xual activities so that you can think clearly and take a firm decision.

  11. I think you should give her space for now or just let go completely. Ok now if she breaks up finally with her baby daddy what about the lesbian part, would you be comfortable with that? These are questions you need to asl your self…

  12. Brother can you just slow it down and press resete, all I see is infactuation. The answers you seek is right before you. Move on…

  13. The choice is yours,why not give her sometimes to sort herself through then let there be a time phrase so that you won’t be wanting in vane

  14. Bros if you’re sure of the above situations and you know right in your heart that you love her, give her an ultimatum to come onlut straight or forget about everything with you!

  15. If you’re sure of the situation and you feel you love her and want to take it to the next level, give her an ultimatum to come or forget about everything with you.

  16. My dear, don’t start what you can’t finish. You need to tell yourself the truth and stay away from her. I don’t think you need a second heartbreak, do you?
    Stop the s*xual activities so that you can think clearly and take a firm decision.

  17. My guy just give her sumtime, she might be telling de truth about her baby daddy..and pls dont build ur relationship thinking if she is a lesbian, or nt may be she was a lesbian before, cus I understand it was because of loneness DAT y she was with her boss ,so pls just trust her if she say she is done with her boss… forget about her past and continue ur relationship peacefully, we all have sum nasty things we have done in de past so let not judge her, she being a lesbian is also one of her past.

  18. Regardless of her past or not, you are trying to move things too fast. Some people might not be comfortable about that. Try to put that in mind. Even if she was single and never dated anybody before, asking her to start going public on social media with you, within one month, is a lot. Maybe she is still trying to define your relationship properly and needs time to do that but your lack of patience and expectation is causing the problems. She might not yet be ready for a relationship that will lead to planning for marriage etc. She could only be dating you at the moment for financial and s*xual purposes. As you can see, there are so many maybes. You definitely need to take a chill pill.

    Why are you trying to go public quickly with your new relationship? Is it because you want to be sure she is no longer dating the Lebanese guy (or her lesbian boss)
    or you want your family and friends to know you are in a new relationship quickly again
    or you want to get married quickly before the end of this year?
    or maybe you want to use it to taunt your ex that broke your heart?

    You need to give her space as you planned to do before. That’s the only way out for you. Don’t let emotions cloud your judgement and don’t be desperate. Reduce your expectations for now and limit (or put a stop) to the s*xual relationship.

    Try to know more about her. Her personality, her past life. Have more casual conversations with her. It’s bad knowing about her past through your sister – she should be able to come clean about her past mistakes and deeds. So give her time to sort out herself. With time, she will feel more comfortable to be sharing things with you and you will get to know more about her.

    Once you have known about her past, then it’s your choice to make a decision whether you can still continue dating her by ignoring / letting go of her past deeds. If you don’t feel comfortable about her being a lesbian before, then just end the relationship before it stretches too long. Feeling uncomfortable about it means you are always :
    * over thinking about how she did it comfortably in d past and hating that blemish on her.
    * thinking she can still do it again (if you are feeling insecure about it)
    So end it if you are the type that doesn’t let go or feel comfy about such past deeds.

    Ease the s*xual tension and the social pressure for now and focus on yourself. Try to get back control of your judgement and emotions. Heartbreak comes easily when there is too much expectations.

    I wish you well !!!

  19. Hello,

    It appears you need more time to take a decision with this woman. One month is grossly inadequate to know someone.

    It is very likely she is still in contact with her baby daddy and female lover. She is in need and she appears like someone who would do anything to get by. Just like she came on you after you gave her some money.

    My suggestion: stop sleeping with her. When she has sorted herself and her baby daddy and lover,maybe then you can both talk.

    She appears a woman who uses her s*x to get favors from people. Do not be a victim,she is attractive and knows her game better you.

    And yes…she likes women and may still love women in future.

    The best thing is for you to let her go…that is,if she has not gotten you under her .

    This smells all shades of danger. Be careful.

  20. Hello bro,
    Sis sister has already told you the truth you need to know about Brenda, safe your self from future problem
    Pls, stay away from her.

  21. Stop sleeping with Brenda, stay away from her since she isn’t straight and you having doubt. When she sorts out herself then you two can talk.

  22. It is obvious you are conflicted on whether or not you should let her go because you have come to love her so much don’t forget that obsession is like love and you aren’t sure if she still has feelings for her baby daddy and if she is bis*xual. Well, if you still feel this way , I suggest you let her go with her baggages, clear your head because from what am sensing, let the s*x or her beauty not cloud your senses. You owe yourself that much. Thank you and good luck.

  23. Yes. They are right. Stop sleeping with Brenda and get out of that relationship ASAP before you get more heartbroken

  24. […] According to Andrew McCullough, a Sexual health expert, women internalise things; the first thing a woman thinks when her man becomes impotent is to blame herself thinking it is because she may have done something wrong or no longer attractive. […]

  25. […] ALSO READ: https://livelystones.ng/my-girlfriend-is-very-attractive-but-i-suspect-that-she-is-bisxual/ […]

  26. […] ALSO READ: My Girlfriend Is Very Attractive But I Suspect That She Is Bisexual […]

  27. […] ALSO READ: My Girlfriend Is Very Attractive But I Suspect That She Is Bisexual […]


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.


Must Read

%d bloggers like this: