My New Husband’s Side Chick Wants Money To Leave Us Alone-Pls Advise
Good day ma,
Please hide my ID. I need your advice. I 32 years old. I have been in a relationship for 3 years with someone I thought was the most innocent and faithful man but I was wrong. We got engaged early this year and had our traditional wedding in August. White wedding is supposed to be in September but this is what happened.
After my traditional wedding which I posted our pictures on my Facebook and IG, a young lady called me and introduced herself as Lucy (not real name) She said that she is pregnant for my husband whom I just wed traditionally.
Lucy said she has done 2 abortions for him previously. That she knew about me…that we were dating but that he kept promising her that he loves her and was looking for a way to break up with me…that is why she believed him.
She said until she saw our traditional wedding pictures ,that is when she knew she was being played. That he has been avoiding her since then. This girl said she is 20 years old and that my man is the one who disvirgined her.
After she finished talking,I asked her what she wants,she said she is sorry and never meant to hurt me but she did not know he was serious about me. She said she is willing to carry out an abortion if I ask her to. But that if I don’t want…that will I be willing to help her take care of her child?
She said she is young and still needs to complete school. That my man is ignoring her…she does not know if she keeps the baby if he will support her financially with her school and the baby. So she wants me to advice her: if I will help her keep the baby or if she should abort the baby.
I told her I will call her back. I was shaking. My whole world was just shattered. Immediately my man called me and I refused to pick. So he came to our house. He started begging. That the girl is lying. That yes…he slept with her one time but she is using the pregnancy to try and get him to give her money.
That this girl is looking for sugar daddy to sponsor her. My family and everyone is thrown in disarray. Why now…now that I am traditionally married? I wish I knew before now…I told him that I have to hear from the girl in his presence. A meeting was arranged against his wishes and both families were present.
This girl showed us chats between her and my man and I wanted to die. They were very intimate for at least nine months. This girl said yes she knew about me but that my man kept telling her he loves her and not me…yet my man says he told her he was engaged but they just had s*x for money.
Now…whatever they had…that is already proven…the girl wants him for money. That is why she wants to have the baby for him to take care of…so that she will be tied to him forever financially. She has said that she is willing to abort the baby for my sake but that we must settle her financially.
Lucy wants us to give her 500k now. And 100k every year for 3 years. I am completely confused. Should I agree to her conditions and let her flush the pregnancy out while we pay her? How can I still go ahead and marry a man like this? If he cheated on me when we were engaged…what will he do when we get married? Should this be the end of our marital journey?
This is the wahala that I am facing. My family has said anything I want…its up to me cos I will be the one in the marriage. I know traditional marriage is as good as being married but with this situation…is it not better I end the marriage? How do I tell this lady to abort her baby cos of my marriage? Is this right as a Christian?
My man keeps insisting the baby is not his. This girl says it his. We cannot know for certain until we do a DNA after the baby is born. Until then…what do I do? Will it the fact that he cheated? He swears its a mistake. That he was doing it for fun…he has no feelings for her…he said he knew that once he gets married…it will stop. He is ready to by anything to promise he will be faithful in the marriage.
What should I do…should I give my man a chance? what if the pregnancy? If I don’t ask her to abort it…that means she will have the child…that may be my husband first child (if DNA says positive)…and she will be tied to us forever.
I need advice and prayers. I will be reading comments.
Anonymous
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Hello Young lady , This is a very dicey situation . First of all, Abortion is out of it except you are a democrat but as a republican , i wont advice you to suggest abortion. Well, you guys will have to take care of her till she gives delivers the baby before doing DNA. Every child is important , it doesn matter who is first child or not. As for continuing with the marriage , maybe you give him a little time before the church wedding.
This girl could be your daughter or sister. She is 20, she is naive. What if she needs the relationship to sponsor herself in school. The bottom line is that your guy took advantage of her. Couldn’t your man had helped her without sleeping with her. What if she is his younger sister. You want her to abort the baby, what if she dies in the process. You would have taken two lives because of marriage. Well, personally, I don’t know what advice to give you. Just treat the girl like your daughter or younger sister. Meee
Hmmm. That man is not it at all. He is a very wicked man, full of evil, a liar and a cheat. That is his description. Period. He doesn’t love you at all. ” He knew that once he gets married, it will stop”. Says who?
Who told you marriage stops or cures a womanizer?
Now, would you like to spend the rest of your life with such being?
Consider that girl to be your sister or daughter, how would you see a man that treats her like that?
Please, don’t allow that girl to jeopardize her life again by having another abortion for that man. Let her keep the baby.
My advice?
Leave that man. Let your people return the dowry he paid on your head.
Let him face and deal with his shit himself.
Marrying that man is entering into a life of regret and “had I known”.
Forget about your age. Turn to God, believe in Him. Hand over your life to your Creator. He will turn everything around for good in your life and give you the man He has created for you.
Shalom
Hmmmm this is a really complicate matter ooo but I will be going against what everyone has been saying because like you said he was a very nice person and you thought he was a great man expect for what happened now, but I need you to know that not all men are prefect, no matter how good a man is he will definitely have few flews. He has admitted of cheating and has apologize about it now since this is the first time I will advice you forgive him.
Now about this girl, according to what I read this girl is not ready for having that baby, all she need is for your husband to pay for lying to her, you need to sit her down and let her know that you can’t pay her that kind of money, maybe give her the 500k and pay her off, if you still want to go ahead with you marriage I will advice you don’t allow that girl give birth to that baby, I repeat again don’t let her give birth to that baby, if you do that will be the beginning of problem in your new home.
The deed has been done nd the little gal is crazy knowing that a man has a fiancee but yet went ahead to do abortion for him twice nd is still pregnant for the 3rd one
I don’t know how months the pregnancy is but allowing that girl to give birth to that child will be the beginning of ur woes,,,, is left for u to decide if u can forgive ur man nd go ahead with the wedding plans or not. Also know how many months the girl’s pregnancy is,if it is less than 3 months,drugs can work on it but if it is more than 4 months,let her hv the baby nd it would be left for u to decide if u can endure the baby mama saga for the rest of ur life nd also if u can forgive ur man.if the pregnancy is less than 3 months,nd the gal agrees to abort it,u can compensate her but that money she is mentioning is damn too much
leave the man because he has no faith and comit fornication and if you marry him you will suffer . I just want to say pay for the girl and leave the man because he will make you to suffer after marriage thanks to god that he make you to know before the marriage that you are going to marry a liar . God want to give you a choice . God love you so much and want you to escape this marriage that why god reavel the truth to you to escape this disaster
RED FLAG RIGHT THERE, except you are desperate.
My dear.my own advice to you is to over looked all this small small girls that moving around like a demon looking for a soul and house to destroy.according to her statement.she told you that your man tells her.he is looking for a way to drive you out off his life.before she accepted his relationship with him right.fortunately it becomes her that loses.now she’s calling you to inform you that’s she’s having pregnant with your man.tell her is not your business.warn her very well to stay off and out from your marriage.let her stay off from your man and out entirely for her good.dnt check any dna.dnt accept her falliure.dnt well her at all.pls this is past life don’t welcome them in your life and marriage.forgive him.he has learnt his weakness.go ahead for your white wedding.start attaining a good living church with your husband.enable him to confess and repent genuinely.give that girl money either 50k or 100k.call her and advice her as your younger sister.after that don’t invite her again in your house.
My dear,
The honest truth is a cheater will always be a cheater and married is not an easy thing, when you enter to come out is a problem.
It is better you back off now than you wait after started giving birth to children then the situation will be more worst because with your kids you will not want to leave and everyone will be saying for you to patient for the kids and you will be there punishing yourself with bitterness, hatred, etc.
Now you have no kids you have more opportunities to rebuild your life and carrier which will make you better person tomorrow.
For the girl dont advice her to abort because if you do you are the one that will have the sin. Tell her is her wish to keep it or abort it but if she has to keep it is your so called husband’ s problem and responsibility to take care of the child and not you.
But dont have it in mind that if she aborts it then you can go ahead with your wedding and married life that is the biggest mistake why because you have loose trust on this man and everything will be playing in your mind and so you will never enjoy the love anymore.
Dont develop bitterness for the girl just take her as your sister but that doesnt mean she should be by you with or without the pregnancy. What i mean here is ignore her acts and move on, if she give birth the child is her luck and your husbands problem not you. But if he dont give birth to the child is not your problem and dont stain your hands with blood by asking for abortion.
This whole problem is your husbsnds responsibility just avoid everythibg that will make you sick, bitter , stressfull etc and move on with yourself. Empower yourself and add more value to yourself and after few months or year you will be in a different level.
All i advice is out of experience because i jave 3 kids with my man he cheats and never fear but i am suffering, living in pain, bitterness, grudge, hatred and now everyone is sayinh patient for the kids he wil change one day, how long will i wait for him to change and what about he dont change then i will be in this situation and what he will change but now and when is the time i dont know, then time is going and age is adding.
SO my dear back off now and rebuold yourself, its painful and i know its hurts but if you manage to to take the decision now i dont think y ou will regret it.
Now let says that girl give birth to that child . The child will get older and he or she will always look for the father which is your husband even if it takes 30 years from now because blood is thicker than water and whenever that child comes around the negative and the pass will be recall and that is how and when the child was conceive, The situation tht was surrounded the pregnancy, and the mother of that child is not your family, you dont know her heart and she will not remain 20 years forever, she will have to grow and matured and will want the best for her child and she will keep fighting for the child to benefit or stay with her father that also is nightmare for you.
Remember there is no small women, women are capable of doing anything when they want something, who knows what is in your husband’s mind and now bec asuse you have caught him he want to pretend as if it was a mistake and that was not a mistake becsuse if it was then he should have prevented himself from doing it by not have any S.e.xual contact anymore or he himself join family planning after the first prpregnancy and abortion.
But imagine first and second pregnancies and abortions he still went further to exploit the girl by having S.e.x with her and asking the girl to abort the pregnancies and forgeting that this is another mind child and because of her vulnerability he abuses her and this is call wickedness.
Be watch ful and vigilant.
I hope my comment makes sense to you.
Please my sister for no reason should u be involved with abortion. I know it’s not easy to live with such lies everyday but give it time and then decide on your next move.
Hmmmmmm. I think he was trying to have fun and it has all come crashing on him. I will be his biggest lesson and nothing will make him cheat in the future.
Hmmmmmm. I think he was trying to have fun and it has all come crashing on him. I will be his biggest lesson and nothing will make him cheat in the future.
My dear Sister, he had been sleeping with that girl for nine months but lied to you it was only once he had S.e.x with her…let me tell you, adulterers when caught will fine better ways to hide their tracks… Don’t believe that man at all, S.e.x is so sweet oo, assuming you found out at three months he will say he won’t do it again, but you found out he had been doing it for nine months, you see S.e.x is so sweet, he will still cheat on you and you won’t have any idea he does, he will have another phone to use for texting calling those, he will become nicer to you, buy you things like clothes, bags, gifts to deceive you, I’m a man so I know these things, pls don’t fall for it….leave that man alone. As for the 20 years old lady, she has had abortion twice and had been having S.e.x with him for nij months even when she knew he had a fiancee…she is greedy and covetous lady, whatever happens to that man and this lady is not your business, pls leave that man, like you said your family said its your choice cos its you that will be in the marriage. So my sister…LEAVE THAT MAN ALONE, don’t let him deceive you with words of toasting, gifts, trust me many men do this to deceive women but pls don’t fall for his deceit. He is a greedy and covetous man. GOD bless you Sister. I am Akin
Hello,
I know how you feel…like how can you be barely married and already having to deal with cheating and side chicks….
Well…better late than never? God delivered you…yes traditional marriage is legal but marriage blessed by God in church is more solid…so remove yourself and free yourself from the traditional vows and take a long walk….loose his number and block that skinny leg side chick.
You have no business dealing with a shady and two timing man and his side chick…let them sort themselves…its none of your business.
I know it hurts but trust me…the hurt you feel now…will disappear after a few months…but if you marry this man…you gonna feel hurt for the rest of your life.
Save yourself the lifetime heartbreak…let this man sort his mess.
Wish him all the best…a more deserving man will come for you.
Do not let age or pressure make you drink poison…
God bless you.
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