Naomi’s Dairy: How I Slept With My Therapist
Hi Lively Stones readers,
This is Naomi’s dairy; I will be sharing my adventures as a fun loving therapist.
This is the story of how I became intimate with my therapist, Dr. M. There are some very deep emotional moments that was shared during my therapy sessions with my ex husband and Dr. M. At one time, I was quite suicidal. I did not want to continue living when it was clear, my ex was going to leave me.
Dr. M did everything he can to help me. He referred me to a psychiatrist but I refused to go. I genuinely felt if my ex did not want me, no man would want me, so why continue to live? My case was serious, I would call Dr. M at odd hours, my mother, a single woman in Ghana would call Dr M also in panic when I was having my panic attacks and s.u.i.c.i.d.a.l thoughts.
The only person I wanted to see or listen to was Dr. M. It happened the day my divorce was final. It hit me hard and I thought my life was over. I was in a bad state and I called Dr. M to come over to my place, I needed to talk to someone or I would loose it completely.
It started when he told me I was still young, beautiful, S**y and desirable. That I had no need to put myself through this pain. Yes, I was in pain. I flipped the question on him, I asked him if as a man he found me desirable, he could not swallow his saliva. I could recall how his adams apple was going up and down as he tried to answer my question.
That session was one of the darkest sessions. Dr. M said of cos, Naomi, I find you desirable. I was not going to let him off the hook easily. I told him to prove it, prove to me that I am desirable to him. He said he would not, then I told him he was lying.
Dr. M didn’t want to prove anything because he is a good man, married but I also saw he was struggling with me. His emotions were all over his face. To out him put of his misery, I asked him to watch me masturbat3, I wanted to see his face when he watched me. He couldn’t, he was sweaty and had an erection instantly. That was the end of the session that day. Dr. M ran out and we didn’t see each other for a month.
After a month, I sent him an apology message. I knew I crossed a line but I blamed it on my depression, the pain of my divorce and lack of control at the time. I convinced him I was doing fine and would love to continue a post divorce therapy.
We became friends after that. I loved how he talked with so much peace and calmness around me. He encouraged me to start dating again. I was gradually beginning to see the light out of the tunnel. I wanted to be like Dr. M. I began to see what he did as very valuable and I thought I could really be of help.
When I started my online course, I used to practice my thesis with him. He even used some of his personal experiences for me to diagnose him. That was how he became vulnerable to me. Him and his wife were happy but not having S** as regularly. He was busy and she too kinda lost interest.
And yes, I was studying to be a S** therapist. So, we talked alot about S** in his marriage. He grew comfortable around me telling me about his S** life and I asked him if he ever thought of f*cking another woman before and he said h3ll yes…I asked him who…he said me…I asked him, so what is stopping you….he said nothing.
The rest is history. We f*cked and f*cked and that restored his marriage. He found his passion for S** again and put that energy into his marriage. Dr. M is a great man, a good man and even good man is a human being. Who should the therapist see when he also needs help? I do not in anyway justify our actions, if anything, I regret it but we made a mistake when he was vulnerable.
Lesson no 1: as a therapist or someone trying to help someone else, if you ever find yourself having feelings towards your patient, end that contract immediately. You are not a hero…you are vulnerable. You are not invincible, you are human and you feel and most times, you feel what your patients feel.
That was five years ago. I have remained in touch professionally with Dr. M but I know not to ever find myself in one room or space alone with him. No one can blame Dr. M…you know why…he was a patient at the time he was telling me about his struggles…he needed someone to make him stronger in his weakness but I was not the one…I was not supposed to be the one to help him…I encouraged the mistake…I will never do that again today if I find myself in a similar situation.
Now, I learnt that S** is a life time connection. Once you have it with someone, there is a tendency you will want to if the opportunity presents itself again. May you not find yourself an emotional doctor that also needs to seek for emotional help. And for those who want to judge, relax, doctor Jesus has fixed me, still fixing me…you can hold your judgments.
Lesson no 2: No therapist can fix anyone. We are just listeners, emotional doctors guiding the people who come to us with their issues. We also can get emotionally unwell. Things can get blurry when a doctor begins to feel an obligation to save a patient. Trust the patient to take the sessions and learn the lessons and apply it to themselves. If they are not able to, you cannot do anything as a therapist, leave that one for God.
Being a S** and relationship therapist is fun and fulfilling for me. It also helps me as an individual discover my self as I try to help others. Am I going to deep? lol….relax. The feedback from patients is very satisfying but some stories are just too hilarious. I will be sharing more with you soon.
So, stay tuned and watch my space. Tell me what you think. Some of you have the same thoughts and struggles like I had. Don’t worry, this is a safe space. No judgement. God will help us all. But you can share with me in the comments section if you were ever emotionally involved with someone that was supposed to be helping you…maybe you never told them…maybe you did…did it lead to intimacy? What did you learn from it? For me, I learnt that …
Final Lesson: Just because you think you can cross that boundary means that you should. There is a reason for boundaries. They are not to be crossed. Therapists are emotional doctors. I personally believe that doctors should not be their patient’s friend. Do not cross that professional boundary. Especially because emotions are hard to control. So, just in case you are in such a situation, hit me up and talk to me. You can talk to me in private too. Send me an email:email@example.com. I would love to hear from you.
Until next post which I promise will be a hilarious account of one of my experiences as a relationship therapist, peace!