HomeAdviceOur Landlady & Her Daughter Are Out To Frustrate My Family-Pls Advise

Our Landlady & Her Daughter Are Out To Frustrate My Family-Pls Advise

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Our Landlady & Her Daughter Are Out To Frustrate My Family-Pls Advise

Hello Ma,

Please advise me. I do not know what to do here. So, this is my story. I got married almost a year ago. My husband is nice and gentle but I just realized that he and one of our landlady’s daughter had an affair when we were dating. This revelation has broken me and I am having serious trust issues that is beginning to affect our marriage.

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As it is, I did not know but I just noticed that this girl never used to greet me. I am friendly with her mother (our landlady) and her other siblings but I just noticed that she did not want to be friends with me. I told my husband my observation and he responded by saying maybe she is a shy girl and that if she does not want to be my friend, so be it.

However, my husband’s cousin came to stay with us for holiday and noticed this girl. She is very attractive with big assets. This guy kinda toasted her and she was acting hard to get. Our cousin didn’t tell me all these until everything went south. But she later agreed for my cousin but soon, our cousin found out that she agreed to date him just to make my husband jealous.

Yes, you heard me right….to make my husband jealous. And my husband’s cousin said my husband started to pick on him, at every little opportunity. He  did not know cos he was telling the girl that he is surprised at his in-law’s recent behavior to him, that he does not know whether to tell me or not. This girl now revealed that my husband was actually acting up cos he is jealous and does not want her to date him.

This girl told my husband’s cousin that she and my husband dated for almost six months. That my husband got her pregnant and forced her to have an abortion. That my husband gave her 1M as hush money. That before we got married, my husband was still f*cking her but made sure he was using condom to avoid pregnancy.

This girl revealed that she can still f*ck my husband if she wants but because she pities me. My husband’s cousin thought this girl was lying and told her to proof it. They made a bet of 50k and this girl indeed sent a nu-d-e photo to my husband and my husband responded within 3 mins. The girl told my husband that she misses him…he said…meet me by my car around 11pm tonight…that he will shift her womb tonight.

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Well, my husband’s cousin got me the evidence and text and even though I was in shock, we both agreed to set my husband up with the girl…I pretended to be asleep and behold by 11pm…husband sneaked out of the room to the car park…hoping to go meet this girl…few minutes later…my husband’s cousin and myself went downstairs and I think the girl played a dirty one by telling my husband that it was a set up cos hubby was by the car alright…with his phone in his hand but the girl did not come out.

I raised hell…asked my husband what he was doing outside and showed him the message exchange between him and the girl. I am pregnant and this revelation is just too much for me. My husband denied having anything to do with this girl, saying he also wanted to play along with her and tell her off…that is why he got out.

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Husband swears he never got her pregnant and that the girl is lying. This girl is still boasting that she can still have my husband any time any day she wants. I am afraid. I told my husband let us move out of the house cos I cannot trust him or the girl….he says we just renewed house rent for two years and he does not have any money for new house rent anywhere else.

Now, I am so frustrated…I suspect every move hubby makes…I cant sleep cos am afraid he will sneak out when am sleeping to go and cheat on me. I don’t like how am living. I don’t think I trust my husband and its killing me inside. Even though we did not catch him and the girl red handed…we saw the text message between them when she sent the nu-d-e picture…he is claiming he was just playing her too…but that does help my anxiety and trust issues.

To crown it all…my husband’s cousin is still seeing this girl…he lied to me that he broke up with her but I showed up on his door one morning and saw this girl sneaking out of my brother’s bedroom. Why is this girl bent on taking the men in my life. My stupid cousin in-law said…he is with her cos he is trying to distract her from her making advances at my husband.

So, even though this guy knows how this is making me feel but he is sleeping with this girl under my roof…is it that every man thinks only with their preek? This is making the girl actually laugh at me. I feel ridiculed and have asked my husband’s cousin to leave my house by the end of the month but then my fear is…she will not have freedom to go after my husband…I mean, she was doing my brother in my house…how am I sure she will not do the same to my husband without me knowing?

I feel heightened by this anxiety and fear …I can only ask my husband to let us leave here and he says not until our rent expires…so is this what I will bear until then? I have thought about talking to this girl’s mother but my husband’s cousin said he is sure the mother (my landlady) is already aware, that she does not mind even if my husband will marry her daughter cos the woman too is promiscuous. …that talking to the mother will only embarrass me cos its my husband that is the one I should be talking to…not the one that is not married and must keep marriage vows.

I am certainly confused, afraid and frustrated…my husband is still denying and even getting angry at me for accusing him of cheating…he said as long as I did not catch him red handed, I cannot prove anything…that the nu-d-e picture was just a terrible joke and he wanted to plat the girl as well…

What can I do to stop imagining the worst things that can happen? I see this girl every day flaunting her beauty and bum bum at me. She literally laughs at me …showing me that she can take my man …same way she has my husband’s cousin under her spell. I need help and advise…I told my parents…they agreed that my husband’s cousin should return but they do not blame him cos he is single…everyone is saying I should talk to my husband to respect himself and I have tried to talk to him yet I feel so afraid and frustrated.

Everyone is saying take it easy cos I am pregnant but I wish I was not even pregnant, I would have left this man and his cousin who are just giving me anxiety problems. How can I stay in a marriage where I cannot trust the man I call my husband and his cousin is f*cking the same woman with him?

Please advise me.

Anonymous

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Jzhane
Jzhane
A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J

3 COMMENTS

  1. Your husband is a serial cheat and a pretender,it is unfortunate that you are only focusing on the girl inside but what about the side chicks outside that you don’t know about? You are pregnant, that is a big opportunity for him to even cheat the more. Send that yeye boy out of your home,he is not a serious sombori,how can he have the nerve to bring in a woman under your roof,for what na? As for your husband, you have to learn to live with him that way ooo,abi wetin you one do? Just be careful so he doesn’t infect you with disease,udo!

  2. That’s why its better not to trust anyone, sister, pls go for test to confirm if you have std or not, pls do. If you can leave the house, pls do, maybe your siblings place or parents house. That Lady sleeping with yoit husband, sometimes some people deserve what they go through, if tomorrow something bad starts happening to her, people will be calling witch wizard, but see how she is even proud of sleeping with your husband, its said that some girls are just so wicked and stupid, as for your husband,I pity him big time, he is planning his own demise, just leave him, pls make yourself happy only you can make yourself happy oo. You are pregnant, so pls take it easy, if you can leave that house, pls do, your husband is an irresponsible man, I pity him so much. Your happiness is important sister, leave that house, and when you come back, don’t beg him to stop cheating, he is an adult that knows right and wrong, I wish people will just know that their happiness is in their hands not in the hands of their spouses. GOD bless you sister. I am Akin.

  3. I’m sorry to desapoint you but your man is a cheater and will never stop except by Gods intervention.you are pregnant focus on your safe delivery first because if u allow the stress and anxiety to take over ,you could loose your life or your bb .then focus on yourself after delivery,look beautiful,look for a job to not stay home all day.he will think you are also doing the same he will become jealous and might start saying you cheat on him.and I advice u to never cheat for your own dignity.you can’t trust someone who gave not proven u to be trust worthy he should work hard if he wants to be trusted again.but u should be strong.

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