Hello ma,
I need your advise and post anonymously. I was posted to Port Harcourt (not real location)to do my youth service this March before the federal government sent us home because of corona virus. I decided to stay back in my Uncle’s place in PH cos going back to Abuja was quite far.
On getting to his place,I was welcomed well. His wife is a nice woman. They have two children. However,I notice that every night,they argue in their room and before long,they come outside shouting and all.
I was surprised cos I have never been used to seeing this type of behaviour before in my family. Since then,every week,they fight and my Uncle end up beating his wife. Initially,I mind my own business cos I feel it would be disrespectful if I try to intervene.
This my Uncle is my mom’s younger brother,their last born. I think I am beginning to see his real personality. He seems to be a bit pampered as a kid cos from what I see,what he quarrel with his wife for are the minute details.
He beats her if his food is not ready in less than 5 mins. If she goes to Market and does not come back in 45 mins,its beating. he checks her phone every now and then. He tells her what to wear and what not to wear.
To me,he is an ass…even the neighbors do not come out anymore to separate them. I think they have been like this for years. I had to speak to the wife. I asked her why this fight and beating everyday,she said she does not know why but that he does it cos he loves her.
My mouth dropped….like how can she say he husband beats her cos he loves her? She must be totally brain washed. I told her its not normal. She said he is a jealous man,that is men who love their wives behave: they react that way cos they are afraid of loosing their wives.
I asked her what if she dies in the process,she says he can never beat her to the point of death. That most times,after they fight,its s*x that follows. That he will be apologizing to her later,saying he cannot control how he feels for her.
Ma, this is not healthy. I cannot wait for this lock down to be over cos I have never seen anything like this. See the kind of environment they are raising two small children all in the name of jealous love rage.I had to call my mother to tell her cos I could not face my Uncle.
My mother called him and he became very furious. He then changed the story that I am interested in his wife. That I should mind my business or leave his house. I honestly wish I can leave today. My only wish is if only this his wife would realize that what she is passing through is abuse and not love.
I try not to talk to her again but I am pained. What else can I do? Please advise.
Anonymous Post
Photo Credit:Citizen Confidential
It’s to leave the house
This is really a case of domestic abuse and both of them are living in denial.
This is not love at all. Its is violence and emotional slavery.
You have done your part to report the matter to your mother.
Another thing you can do is report this to the wife’s family so they can be aware.
Both of them need help: prayers and professional counselling.
If only we have a working social services system,those children would have been taken away from them because its a very un-conducive environment to raise children.
You should also leave that house as soon as possible before you become a witness to assault or murder.
Let their family member and the law enforcement agency step into the matter as soon as possible before they kill themselves.
This is bad for both parties. You both aren’t compatible… Save yourself the stress
This is bad oooo…really bad I will advise you talk to the wife to reason not just for herself but for the future of her kids so that they wont turn to monster like their father and think that is how the world is..and also be careful and pray for them
[…] put my faith in God and tried not to get jealous. Mathew would go spend time with the surrogate and it was like four months after that that the lady […]