True Life Situation: I Keep Rejecting Marriage Proposals To Save My Career
Good day,
I am in need of advice. I do not know what is wrong with me. I just need prayers too. I am 26 years old. I am beautiful and I am into professional modelling. This my career started when I was 18 years old. I have made money for myself and my family from my modelling.
During my younger years, any relationship I found myself, my mother who was my manager used to warn me not get pregnant so I will not loose my shape, which is what I use for my modelling, so I have been very careful not to get pregnant.
My mother is also against marriage…she said men will not allow their wives who are models to continue modelling after marriage. (My mother was a single mother, story for another day). I have been rejecting alot or marriage proposals because of my career…I just pray I do not regret this later in life. Am I being stupid?
Even when I dated someone for 3 years, I mistakenly got pregnant and I had to quickly remove the pregnancy. I am now in my late 20s and I am beginning to look forward to settling down into marriage. Guys are never my issues, alot of guys want to date me. The problem is finding the right guy.
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So there are two guys that I am in a relationship with. Not on purpose but both of them have been trying to woo me for some time now. Mr A is 32 years old banker. He is fun and spends money on me alot. He likes me alot but I think he is also a flirt cos I have seen him talking to other women and he uses his flirting alot.
Mr. B is a 35 years , much more mature guy. He likes me alot but he seems controlling cos he treats me like a baby and I dont like that. He complains about my dressing, as a model, I have to present a certain look all the time and he says my look is not that of a responsible person.
Both men spend money on me, they are talking marriage too. I want to be able to have a comfortable life so its hard for me to choose which man to go with. Mr. B has a more steady source of income being an entrepreneur but his controlling nature is what is my issue. While I fear that Mr. A can loose his job one day being a banker himself…what then will happen as his job is not secure?
In November, I met a producer who wanted to cast me in a music video. This is someone that I have been dreaming of working with me, so when the opportunity came, I jumped at it. After set one day, he invited me over to his room and we ended having s*x. Sometimes, to make it in this industry, you have to pay some price.
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After that, we went for a one month music tour with the artist and I noticed I missed my period two weeks later. I fell ill and was rushed to the hospital. I was pregnant. This guy organized a D & C for me quickly. I was so sick after that I had to come home and stop the tour with the others. That is how I lost a deal that every girl in my industry is praying to have.
I was later admitted in the hospital when I got back. Mr. B took me to the hospital. It was in that process that he found out that the reason I was so sick was because I had an abortion. He was angry with me, asking me who was responsible for the pregnancy. I could not face him, I lied it was his, so he would not see me as a cheat. He was so attentive and caring …he took care of me.
Things moved very fast, he asked me to marry him and I said yes. Mr. B has been very nice and caring but I think his controlling nature is going to be an for us. We were talking and he said to me, that after we marry, that he will set me up in business so that I can quit modelling. That no wife of his will be doing prostitution in the name of modelling.
I got angry at him for saying such but he later calmed me down, saying he will support my career. That he is concerned that once we marry, I will be pregnant and having a baby and managing a mobile career like modelling may be tough. I told him I will not have a baby until 2 years after marriage. That threw him off and he was like, no way. That he will not take that.
Even though Mr. B seems more like the husband material for me, his mindset worries me…I later stumbled on his chat with his friend. He was telling the friend that he suspects that the pregnancy I aborted was not for him, so when he marries me, that he must get me pregnant first so I will not be having the time for my career and following men all in the name of modelling.
I confronted him about the chat I read and I told him to give me some space cos he is insisting on having babies immediately or no marriage…he begged me to think about it and I said I will but right now, I am worried that this might bring up a quarrel later in marriage…maybe I should end this engagement and go back to the banker ,Mr. A before its too late?
From what I know of Mr. A…when I told him about my career and having children, he was like he will always support my career as long as we have our children before I clock 35 years. Just remembering what Mr. A said, I am thinking he is a better husband material than Mr. B…I am 26 years old now…If I get married now, I need another two years before I will be ready for a baby…so, should I end this engagement now go with Mr. A ? You can see both men have their good and bad side.
Please help me choose between Mr. A & Mr. B…..or should I just forget about marriage and focus on my career? Maybe I should plan to be a baby mama when I am at the peak of my career…I need your advise.
Anonymous
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Why do you want to get married?, when you can answer this question, I’m sure you’ll be able to make a decision,because your write-up clearly shows that your career is more important than getting married or starting a family,there’s no where you said whether you love either of these men, I’d advise you focus on getting to the peak of your career and then decide if you want to start a family or not.
You’re confused person. Both men are better off without you
You don’t know what you want. Both men are better off without you
Madam pls, keep Mr B he is very honest to you, you can set up a good business just like what Mr B advice and be self independent
Omoh… We really don’t judge at lively stones but this is something very serious. You have an entitlement mentality and want to eat your cake and have it all. I’m even short of words – you don’t even feel remorseful for cheating and yet you’re concerned about your admirer flirting? You’re sleeping with 3 guys at once?
Grow some conscience for yourself woman.
You have committed murder in the name of abortion, you have blood on your hands, don’t be deceived by those irresponsible women that tell you abortion is not a sin.
Dating three guys, sleeping with them, you got pregnant for the producer and lied it was for Mr b and you got angry when you found out that Mr be felt he was not the owner of the pregnancy, you are a greedy person.
Mr a and b spend on you a lot, i wonder when men will stop being foolish because of women, on your mother, she told you to be careful of getting pregnant but didn’t tell you not to have S.e.x before marriage, says a lot about your mother.
To be honest, you are a wayward lady, its not an insult, its all shown in your post, the modeling you said, don’t you expose your body for the camera and for people, of cos we know many models are sleeping with men just like you did with the producer, stop acting like you don’t know this, later you will say men are S.e.xually molesting women in the industry, but he never forced you to have S.e.x, you decided to have it with him.
My dear sister, you need to check yourself and stop this irresponsible life of fornicating, abortion and greed.
Happy new year. Peace.