True Life Story: After Kicking Me Out My Husband Wants Me Back Without An Apology
Hi Lively Stones,
Please hide my identity. Last year, after suffering domestic abuse and cheating from my husband of 10 years, my husband chased me out of his house. I had no where to go but to my family. My father is late, my mother is a struggling farmer. I am the eldest child and I got married cos there was no one to help us at the time. I was 21 years old, my husband’s family came to marry me from the village for him. My husband is a divorcee. His first wife left him cos he is a womanizer, an abuser.
When I got married to him, I did not know any of the evil things my husband did but not long after, he started to beat me and cheat on me. My poor mother would beg me to pray and endure so as not to return home empty handed. Throughout my pregnancy, he beat me. I bleed most times. God only made it possible to have my 3 children all safely because I was battered very often.
My husband would threaten me if I tried to report him to any of his family or friends. Its not like they did not know but they too were enjoying his money and no one even wanted to get on his bad side. They all told me to be patient. Some even blamed me for enraging him when he would beat me.
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I learned how to contain my pain and tried to mind my business. I was a perfect example of humble and submissive wife to the least. Then, a new family moved into the next flat in our compound. The husband is a military man. Before long, my husband started having an affair with the wife anytime the husband travelled which he did alot of times. That made the woman maltreat me and my children.
This woman lied against my children and my husband treated us so badly. He would drop this woman’s children off and expect our children to go to school on a bike. They would be making love in my house and have no shame. One day, this woman after she had come to my house to sleep with my husband, gathered the bedsheet that was soiled with her ministration blood….asked me to go and wash the bedsheets.
Apparently, they had made love while she was on her period. I told her she must be mad to think I would wash the bedsheet….she slapped me. I pushed her and my husband came and joined her to beat me up. My husband forced me eventually to wash the bedsheet. That was when I decided to report this woman to her husband. I filmed she and my husband making love and sent the video to her husband using a new phone line I got.
Of course, when the man came back…he was so angry…he beat her up and threw her things away. This made my husband to rent her an apartment and they continued their affair. I was so pained. I hardly saw my husband and he stopped taking care of us financially. He was always with her. This woman eventually convinced my husband to throw me out. I cried and cried. I left with my children back to the village.
Since August last year, I have been in the village. No news from husband. If I call him, he would not respond or call back. I joined my mother to farm. My children hated the village but there was no other choice. Early January this year, one of our church members called me to come and do house help work for her. I left my children in the village and came back to work in the city.
With the help of the woman that I am working for, I have been able to bring my children back to the city last month. We live in one room apartment but its better than village. Then out of the blues, my husband called me last week. That I should return with the children. No apology…nothing. I told him no that he cannot push us out like that and just come back to say we should come back without apology.
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My children are begging me lets go back. They obviously prefer a more spacious home that they were used to. But after all I have been through…should I just go back like that? Before long, he would be back to battering me again. I have started living for myself and I feel I can make it on my own. I do not want to go back but my husband says if I don’t come back by the end of June, he will come and take his children.
Now, that is my fear. I cannot leave my children alone. No way. My husband has money and he can actually take the children cos he money to influence everyone and everything if he wants to. One time he beat me, I took some peoples advice and went to report him to the police. The police invited him…he gave them money and the police began to blame me for making my husband beat me.
Please I need your advice. Apart from this my job as a house help that I earn 35k…I have nothing else. How do I fight such a powerful man if he decides to take my children away from me? This is making me very sad. Should I go back to the marriage just to make sure my children are not taken away from me? What other choice do I have?
The fact that he did not apologize, makes me feel he is not remorseful…now he wants to use force. Please advice me.
Anonymous
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Madam sorry for all you have gone through in the hands of that guy called a man,he is not even a husband.
Do not go back to him if you love your life,leave to live for your children,he might kill you one day with the help of that soldier’s wife.
Look for any human right around you and lodge this complain to them,tell your pastor,tell everyone that cares to know,get a lawyer please. Those children must not go back to such a man,they mustn’t stay in such environment,it is not healthy for them at all,inform everyone that needs to know about your plight,some people will not make heaven,how can a married woman be sleeping with a married man in his matrimonial home in the presence of his own wife? Nawaooo, nothing wey person no go hear,that man needs to be taught a lesson,he needs to be dealt with,what arrant nonsense?
Keep doing your work please, ignore him, overlook and take good care of your children. If you want to stay alive ,biko don’t go back to that beast from the pit of hell.
Poverty is a bastard! God punish lack! Your case is settled nne
Do not go back to him, if he threatens you, threatens him back. You may not have everything but you must have boldness and courage to fight back. Reach out to NGO’s and child welfare so that you won’t be fighting alone.
As for your children you must explain to them the reason you cannot go back. There safety is also endangered by going back to that beast
If the poster can see this, let her search for DPA of Facebook it’s a group owned by a lawyer that helps women in abusive relationship and sure that God will send you help through them. It’s well with you and your children
Please dont go back! Every advice here is in order. Escalate this matter to Lawyers and human rights before his deadline. Make the children understand and know this is a battle and they must be on the same table with you. no to further battering. may we not have another Osinachi’s case here. Amen.
it is well.