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True Life Story: All The Signs Of Cheating Are There But My Husband Says He Is Innocent- Pls Advise


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True Life Story: All The Signs Of Cheating Are There But My Husband Says He Is Innocent- Pls Advise

Good day Lively Stones,

My heart is broken into a million pieces. I need help. I am a mother of three children within the ages of 3 to 8. I think my husband is cheating on me and I cannot bear the thought of it. Something happened that made me think there was no coincidence. I changed my house help in January frankly because the one I had, did not return from Christmas holiday.

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The new girl that came was 23 years old. I wanted someone quite mature cos my children are very energetic. As usual, I carried out necessary tests on these girls, so I tested this particular girl. She tested negative. But when I searched her things, I saw a dildo in her bag. I was shocked. She told me that she has a fiancé, and that she uses the dildo so she will not cheat on him while she is away.

This girl if from the north. She said she will be getting married in 2 years. I almost sent her away but my husband said to me that, if she has a fiancé, then she would not be a wayward girl. That 23 using a dildo is no big deal, at least, she knows how to keep her urges under control with the device instead of sleeping with men. This made sense to me and so I hired her.

This girl is quite good at her job but I noticed she is also quick tongued. A bit argumentative. I don’t like to oppress people but I do not like being spoken to rudely, whether mildly or directly. We got into an argument and even though I found out she was right, I did not like how she spoke to me, so I decided she would have to leave. She left in April.

Its been hard to find a house help this time of the year, so we have been looking for a replacement. Four days ago, my husband was washing our cars downstairs when my 3 year old daughter started using his phone to play a game. The phone fell inside a bowl of water as she was playing, so her brother brought it to me. I was so afraid she had spoilt her father’s phone.

So I dried the phone and began to check if the phone was working well. That was when I noticed a WhatsApp message dropped. I mistakenly opened the message cos I really do not read my husband messages. I was shocked to find a video had come in and it was a video of a woman pleasuring herself with a dildo. I had to go through the person’s chat with my hubby to try and know it was …but all messages history was cleared.

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ALSO READ:True Life Experience: My Husband Is HIV Positive And Blames Me For Cheating

Then, I chatted and said hi baby to the sender cos I don’t recognize the number. Its not saved with a name. Guess, who responded: she responded:daddy…do you like my pussy? I did this for you….it was the house girl that I chased out. My husband had been clearing all their chats so the only message was the video of her pleasuring herself.

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I called her name…Susan (not real name) and she said…ah baby…no names o…before your wife sees it….please watch and delete it…tell me how it makes you feel watching me touch myself when I am thinking of you. By this time, I was boiling and crying.

Long story short, I replied her and said: Susan, this is Mrs O….she stopped chatting. My husband came up…I confronted him and he was like a deer in flashlights. he was caught but he quickly tried to recover. He said…that number has been sending me crazy messages…I do not know the no, that is why I delete the messages. You delete the messages but you did not block the no?

My husband denied any knowledge of having anything to do with Susan. He only said the strange no has been sending crazy messages…but this is the first time the person is sending a video and he has never responded or talked to her and he is just realizing it could be that Susan cos he never had her no before even when she lived with us.

My husband said he is telling the truth…that we should ask the Susan. The girl has refused to pick my call or my husband’s call since then. I tried using calling her with my other no but soon as she hears my voice, she cuts off. I have sent her several text messages, some cursing her but she did not reply any.

What is amazing me is my husband’s defiant attitude. He believes he has done nothing wrong. That he did not know the number and this is the first time the girl would send a nude video…that all other chats were crazy messages and he never replied, instead he cleared the chat. I do not believe my husband. That is why my heart is broken. What do I do?

ALSO READ: I Feel Devastated And Depressed! My Husband Cheating With Another Woman & Blaming Me For It

What if they were having an affair while in my house…what if its going on behind my back? What should I do…should I just fold my hands and act like this is nothing? Clearly….the signs are there but I don’t know what to do….I am pained and I am angry. My husband has never given me a reason to suspect him before but what if I have been so blind to it all. Now, I am afraid of getting another house help. Please advice me.


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A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J


  1. Nne your husband has been cheating,and he is so smart at what he does.

    You better forgive him and take care of your kids,you only knew about Susan because your baby was playing with his phone and the phone fell into the water abi,what about other babes you don’t know about,men who cheat will always make sure they are smart enough so they won’t be caught .

    If you’re not a working class,please take care of your kids yourself ,you just have to manage to avoid unnecessary drama in your home. God bless you nne

  2. Hmmmn , not funny , please pardon my lol after reading your story here.
    I am just amazed at such a smart Cheat..lol.
    God bless you naive heart. honestly, some people dont deserve good persons they get.
    Be that as it may, please know that your Husband has cheated with your former Help and they both would definitely still be in touch. And his smartness with this shows that he’s not new in the business.

    my advise, next time you find an evidence, keep it. recording, video , screen shot, whatever it is, pls send to your phone. With that , you dont need to argue back and forth . Evidences will make you make informed decision whether youre going to :forgive him, walk away, go the legal way or confront in the future .
    You cant do much with this discovery cos its gone , thats why hes defiant. i advise you just swallow the bitter pill. give yourself time to heal, face your children , work and other things that keep you busy. Be intentional at being happy.
    Something will happen again (soon) that will confirm hes cheating . this time, be smart too and keep the evidence.
    it is well with you.

  3. He’s a very smart cheat. Very good at it. That’s why you’re here seeking our opinion yet deep down you know the truth. You better ask for separation,he may learn a lesson during that break,or he may be gone forever. It’s either he shows remorse or he enjoys his freedom so much that he won’t want to get back together. Either way, prepare yourself for more of such,only that he’ll outsmart you,so most probably you’ll not be able to get any concrete evidence. Alternatively, ignore him n his movements, when he notices you don’t care about what he’s upto, he’ll come around with a lesson. Next time you catch him at it, please don’t insult those women. It’s your husband you’re supposed to unleash all manner of insults to. These men lie to women out here alot yet you will be quick to defend them.theyre no saint at all. They would seek sympathy with you yet you don’t know. some would bad mouth you while at it. She’s very lazy,she can’t do anything right including bed Minton,I am just with her because of the children,if not,I would have returned her back to her parents. This particular line is very famous with married men.90% of them use it everyday. So leave the women alone, it’s the person you’re married to that owes you loyalty,not some lady out there.

  4. If He is innocent and someone was sending him random messages like that, He should have told you.

    If He is innocent why was He deleting the previous messages?

    If He is innocent why did your former help say
    ‘ ah baby…no names o…before your wife sees it….please watch and delete it…’

    I wish He could come clean, apologise and reaffirm His vows, then I’ll say take time to heal, forgive and don’t take another live in help.

    Please pray, do you have a Pastor He submits to that can speak with Him?

    Please be strong.


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