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True Life Story: Between My Cousin & My Fiancé-Which One Of Them Is Lying?


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True Life Story: Between My Cousin & My Fiancé-Which One Of Them Is Lying?

Hello Lively Stones,

I got posted to Lagos for my service, so my mom contacted my cousin living in Lagos if I could stay with her after my camp stay. At first, this cousin of mine Preye (not real name) refused. She kept saying shes busy, her apartment is small, bla bla bla but eventually she agreed and told my mom, that I can come but I must behave myself, that she likes her space, that if I misbehave, she will send me away. My mom was surprised but warned me to behave.

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The plan was that I will even stay a while with my cousin, that I should find my own place after a while. When I finished camp and went to my cousin’s place, I discovered she is living in two bedroom flat and very comfortable. She is a Lagos big girl. Her place is really nice. I was impressed. It did not take long, in fact, by the next day, I realized why my cousin did not want me around. Preye is an Olosho but a big girl type.

Later on, I found out that it was one of the men she is dating ,mostly married big men that was paying for her apartment. Every day, there was a different man in Preye’s bed. Preye ordered me to stay in my room anytime any of the men were around. The s3x was loud sometimes, I have to even use my ear pods to avoid being forced to listen through the entire escapade. As a small girl that I am, I just maintained, in fact, I made friends quickly to avoid coming home early everyday…and once I come home, I cook…cos Preye said I must cook if I want to eat, I cook for her too….after cooking, I got straight to my room till the next day.

One Saturday morning, I got up early to wash my clothes, in order not to get in Preye’s way…I finished putting the clothes outside to sun and went back inside. I walked into one of Preye’s guest. The guy too was shocked to see me cos he did not know anyone was in the house…he asked who I was, I said, Preye’s cousin but I quickly ran away into my room. A few minutes later, the guy came into my room, asking me why I ran away. I told him I am not allowed to talk to cousin’s guests.

This guy, whos name is Stan (not real name) introduced himself and tried to chat with me…all this time, I was shaking cos I did not want Preye to find her guest talking to me inside my room. So, I kept asking Stan to leave before she finds us together. Eventually he left.I did not see him again until a few days later. When he came, he knocked on my door and asked me for my no. I refused to give him. From then on, he never stopped trying to talk to me.

Stan would say he is stunned at my beauty and brains. He kept begging me to please  allow him to be my friend..that he and Preye are just f*ck buddies but he is allowed to be in a relationship with any one. I told him it can never be with me cos Preye will cut my head off. Stan used to tell me not to be afraid of Preye…that Preye may be jealous that I am very pretty hence she does not want any man she is seeing to set eyes in me.

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ALSO READ: Love Triangle: Is This B*tch Trying To Steal My Man With A Trap?

All these attention from Stan was getting uncomfortable, I started trying to find a way to tell Preye before she will accuse me of doing something behind her back. I dont know how but Stan was able to get my no and started chatting with me. Chatting with him was less frightful cos I was able to tell him about myself without us being seen together. I thought he really just wanted to be friends but before I knew it, guy was asking me out. I had to block him. This time, I decided to tell Preye.

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And that was my big mistake. As soon as I told Preye, this girl gave me 48 hours to pack out of her house. I thought she was joking, a few hours to the end of the deadline, Preye put my things in ghana must go bags and told me to move out. I called my mom to beg Preye but Preye refused to pick my mom’s call. Preye told my mom that I was trying to snatch her boyfriend. Cos, actually, since Stan and I started chatting, he stopped coming to see Preye but I did not know he stopped because of me.

My mom sent me money and I found a hotel to stay that night. From there, I moved into a friend’s place on the mainland but things were hard cos this friend of mine was staying with her family in a three bedroom and there was hardly any space. So, as my service days was coming to an end, I started taking job interviews. I eventually got a job with a small company. Then out of the blues, Stan calls me with a different number. He asked why I blocked him and I told him everything.

Stan apologized for all I went through and begged me to let him see me. That since I left Lekki and blocked him ,he has never seen Preye. Stan and I linked up later. Stan is actually a nice guy. He explained why he was seeing Preye for s3x. He was in a very dark space then. He was facing depression from the death of his father and brother and he took to s3x and drinking to drown his pain.

As things went on, Stan and I could not hold our feelings for each other. My life changed since Stan and I started dating. He introduced me to his family and they are very lovely people. Stan does not play with me…treats me very good like a queen. A year later, he proposed and I said yes. It was then, I told my mom how me and Stan met. Cos when Preye threw me out, I didn’t want to tell my mom the reason cos I did not want to expose Preye.

My mom was not happy when she realized how me and Stan met but since she has known Stan for months, she too has grown to like him alot. So she gave her blessings. So, I reached out to Preye to tell her about me and Stan….she hurled insults at me and called me an ingrate who stole her man. I told her to her face that I did not steal her man….Stan was never her man, what they had was business….and he has never seen her again sinced he has been with me.

Preye laughed an evil laugh and said…dont be naïve.Stan still f*cks me anytime he likes. I was shocked. I told her she was lying and she said…Stan is addicted to s3x and one woman cannot please him. And that no matter what happens, Stan will always come to her her. This frightened me cos I remember Stan actually told me his problems with s3x led him to Preye. I believed him when he said he was done with her though.

So I told Stan what Preye said….Stan said Preye is lying. That yes, he was in a dark place and he already told me before we even started dating. That I am one of his motivations to quit the s3x and alcohol addiction. I want to believe Stan but somewhere at the back of my mind, I am afraid he may be lying cos you know addicts lie. So, it has made me very nervous and suspicious of him. I check his phones when he is not looking…I have not seen anything damaging yet but who knows….who really knows…

What if Preye is telling the truth…What if Stan is telling the truth….which of them is lying? Stan is a great guy…apart from this suspicion I have….he is the best thing that has happened to me… Should I ask Stan to swear to prove he has changed? How do I know for sure? My wedding is in April….please advise me.



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A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J


  1. how do u get comfortable dating a man who had sex with ur cousin, a man who was having sex with ur cousin and u think ur marriage to him would change him .

    until a man is responsible for his actions that man is not ready to change ,God place Adam and Eve in a garden they mess up when he caught them they started appointing blame to one another ,he kick them out of the garden because he saw both of them were not responsible .

    ur man Stan is not responsible ,u are a man when u take responsibility for ur action not giving excuses of having a dark past , oh really Stan thinks he is the only one who has a dark side ,so does that mean every man who has a dark past should be sleeping around huh ? I too have a dark past so does it give me the justification of sleeping with any women ,no .

    but now u are already in it u already decided to marry the man ,u don need him to swear ,if he still loves having sex with preye he would do it again ,much worst if u guys start having sex and he feels preye is more bedmatic than u ,he might still go to preye

    although there is one pointing thing that shows he loves u and wants to marry u ,he already introduce u to his parents .

    but that’s not withstanding a man can marry one woman because his family are asking him to bring a woman home ,and still continue having sex with his ex ,this is what u should prepare ur mind for

    on the contrary if really he does not have anything to do with her ,then he should delete her contact and if u would get a house then it must be far from the preye lady ,this is just a temporary solution

    and u would need to tell ur mother the truth about preye not because u want to cast her but because there are somethings u can’t hide for too long ,u need a confidant and ur mother is that confidant .

    best of luck .

  2. Neglect Preye and marry your man,I wish you all the best. Your wedding shall be successful and you shall have a better marriage come April. God bless you

  3. Dear writer,

    Where you met Stan isn’t much an issue but the personality you are dealing with.

    Preye won’t be happen you know her dark lifestyle and connected to one of her catch for marriage.

    Stan must understand that Preye is your blood and he can’t be stupid to go back to her but some men are controlled by their third leg than their conscience and brain.

    Don’t make Stan to swear.

    Have you set emotions aside to pray about this wedding?

    Have you gone for premarital classes?

    Do you have a counsellor you both could speak to?

    You need pray to God to tell him you don’t want to be betrayed and become a victim in the marriage and help you to expose the truth. If you find it, I hope you follow the best decision.

    Ask yourself what’s the worst that will happen if Stan lied and you discover in the marriage.

    Ask yourself what’s the worst that will happen , if your cousin is lying and you walked away from Stan?

    What will happen if you open up to Stan that you are in doubt about what he said and not convinced?

    You have two options finally, to trust one of them and take a decision on that or hear from God and a godly counsellor to be properly guided.

    God’s grace.

  4. A man sleeping with your cousin, knows you are both related and still wants to sleep with you ( whether long term in the name of marriage) and you accepted ….. I can never understand how people can put themselves in such situations….. it is well. I wish you all the best.

    But I do believe he is lying. People like that don’t change especially when he knows you are willing to be with him even after sleeping with your cousin, that tells him he can do both of you conveniently and you would be able to accept.

  5. If sex with you doesn’t match with your cousin’s,trust me, be ready for a long ride. Stan isnt the only man alive,did it have to be him? I mean, he was sleeping with your own blood,don’t you feel awkward? Do you even know how long they’ve been doing that? I don’t think it was wise to give this guy a chance. Maybe a little patience could have led you to your God given life partner. Anyway, hope it works out for your good. Take it to the lord in prayer,who knows, he may expose something that may turn things around in your favor.


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