True Life Story: Between My Cousin & My Man-Who Is Lying To Me?
Hi Lively Stones,
I am pressed, in pain and disbelief. I need someone to help me make sense of what happened to me and my relationship. I met Frank (not real name) In December at a Christmas party. We hit it off quickly, he was single, just freshly out of a relationship and I had been praying to God for a husband before the end of the year. Frank was like, his next relationship must lead to marriage….that sounded like music to my ears.
From day 1, it was clear, we were dating to marry. We talked about our future, we even started saving towards our wedding end of the year if possible. Frank is a very attractive guy, my cousin who lives with me always reminds me that I am very lucky to have such a handsome boyfriend and always warns me to keep him away from wondering eyes. I always told her, I will not struggle to keep a man who is not ready to be kept. I am desperate but not that desperate.
Never really blamed my cousin for thinking that way cos she hops from one boy to another like most of her friends. She is a party pooper. Always in clubs every Friday. I always warn her about her lifestyle and she tells me to relax and live a little. She schooled abroad and she is very spoiled.
Frank and I sometimes go out but we most times prefer to hang out with each other either at my place or his place. The weekend before Easter, I travelled for work and from there, I went to see my family in Enugu. I decided to spend the Easter with my family cos my elder brother from Spain was around with his family. I missed my Frankie everyday I was not around and we spoke everyday morning and evening.
I finally returned to Lagos on Easter Monday, I could not wait to see my man. He picked me up from the airport and we went straight to my place. We spent most of the day together until evening when we went out to eat. I expected Frank to spend the night but he said he needed to get to work very early so it was better for him to spend the night in his place.
After Frank left off. I went to my cousin’s room to see her cos she had said she was not feeling fine. I was quite happy to see her too. I was busy giving her gist upon gist but I noticed she was kinda cold. I thought it was because of the sickness. I tried to cheer her up, asking her if she wanted me to make her peppersoup or anything to lighten up her mood.
Out of no where, my cousin, Uju just said…Chi…please do not marry Frank. I was like…eh…what did you say? She was like…she has to confess to me…to free her conscience and because she wants to prevent me from making a mistake. I was like what is it…my cousin said that she and my Frank had s3x when I travelled. My head did a 1 million summersault…what!!!
I pulled back from her…like what crap is she talking about…why would my cousin sleep with my man? She said…he called her while I was away…they were just talking and he was saying he was missing me…that he had no plans this Easter since I travelled…so she invited him to club with her. That she never expected him to accept the invitation but he did to her surprise.
So Frankie and Uju went to club and she said he was getting lit with her. Naturally, she was drunk by the time they went home and he started kissing her. She was too drunk to think, so they had s3x. My God…that she regrets her actions and will take full responsibility but that her conscience is eating her up and she cannot keep quiet and let me marry Frank because he is a cheater.
My God…I do not know what I said next but I lost my control. I called Frank…started insulting him for betraying me…called him all sorts of name. I even told him never to speak to me again. I was so broken. Frank called and texted me all night. He kept texting me not to believe anything Uju said cos its not true. We did a video call and Frank said he indeed made a mistake but he did not follow Uju to the club.
That Uju called him from the club…that she is drunk and has no money to go home,someone stole her money while she was dancing in the club… that he should come and pick her. He said he tried to get her uber but she was afraid that the Uber man might take advantage of her cos it was around 2.3am in the dead of the night…
That Uju kept begging him to come pick her up and not to tell me cos she knows I will not approve of her getting drunk and Frank said he went to pick her up just because he thought of her as family. That he picked her up and dropped her at home. That Uju was asking him for s3x and he knows he tried to push her away but she kept saying throwing herself at him, that no one will know cos its drunk s3x. But he refused.
That after he thought Uju had slept, he went to my room to sleep before day break cos it was still dark…only for him to feel Uju on him like an hour later. That he thought he was dreaming or having a wet dream. That he knew he was having s3x with someone but he thought he was dreaming. When he realized it was not a dream, he was already coming inside her.
Frank says he swears, Uju must have ‘done’ something to him cos he was completely powerless when she was on him. That he completely thought it was a dream. That he cannot explain it and he knows I will find it hard to believe but he swears on his late mother’s life….that he did not sleep with her on his accord and to prove his point, when he realized what happened…he pushed her away.
Frank said Uju had an evil smile on her face and was laughing, like she had won ,…he kept asking her…what did you do to me…that she kept laughing. Frank was like…he is 100% sure Uju used something on him but he cannot prove it. Thereafter, he left told Uju that he does not want to accept what happened…that they should both consider it a mistake and never speak of it again.
Uju then apologized, saying she has always fantasized f8cking her cousin’s boyfriend. That she even fantasized about having a threesome with me and Frank. Frank told her not to worry, that he will not talk about it if she truly sorry, he too will forget about it.Frank said he left after that until I returned from Enugu only for Uju to quickly start reporting what happened as if he went with her to the club.
When I asked Uju if all these were true…she started taking rubbish up and down…that maybe she was too drunk to remember the exact details but she remembers that Frank did f*ck her. I was so confused and did not know who to believe. I could not go to work in the morning. I cried all true. Frank too came and was crying and begging me to forgive him that it has never happened to him before.
Truly, I needed space, so I asked Frank to give me some space. We barely speak on phone since cos I have been too shocked and pained to speak to Frank or even my cousin. Yesterday, Frank sent me a text and said he did something to prove that Uju did something to him. He said he called Uju on Tuesday…she did not pick ,..so he sent her a text and said…he would like to pursue a relationship with her if I break up with him and I do not accept him back…that he can’t stop thinking of her since that day they had s3x.
To his surprise…Uju responded to say: nothing would please her more than for her to be with him as his forever. He screenshot their conversations. That really broke my heart. Clearly my cousin is after my man. Maybe she actually did something to make him sleep with her. Uju can do anything even fetish. But this is too much. Even if I am to accept Frank back, how do I remove the image of them f*cking in my bed from my memory?
How do I marry a man who slept with my cousin? And clearly, my cousin has an eye for him…what if this is all a trick on me? Frank could also be trying to deceive me…I don’t know. I love Frank. He seems like everything I want in a husband…he says he is willing to do anything to make me forgive him…he is really proven he is sorry by calling and crying everyday. He sends me voice notes begging me…reminding me of our plans and ambitions for our future and our kids. Like I said, from day 1….Frank has never doubted that we are meant to be married, we have even picked names for our unborn children.
My heart is broken…I really want to forgive Frank but do you think I should forgive him? I ahve not told Uju I saw her response to Frank’s text …should I confront her? I think she secretly likes him cos she has always been telling me I am a lucky girl to be dating Frank. I believe Frank only came to help her from the club but Uju must have taken advantage of his kindness and tried to steal him from me by sleeping with him however she managed to do that.
Will I be a fool to let Uju eventually steal him cos clearly from her text…she is hoping I break up with him so she can take him…do you think I should ask her …I do not think she will admit,…she will most likely lie cos when she told me not to marry Frank…she was like,…Frank is only good for girls who cheat like him…not girls like me who are too faithful.
Uju has admitted that its her character to hop from one guy to another but she said she would never sleep with my man if she was not drunk. That she could not think properly due to alcohol. She said she is sorry, that she thought she was still clubbing…but Frank should not have taken advantage of her. She insists that she did not force him cos she was too drunk to even fight him off…that Frank knew what he was doing. What is my cousin up to?Do you think Frank too is up to something?
Why did Frank not tell me about the s3x until Uju told me? he kept saying he never wanted me to find out cos Uju apologized and he knew it was a mistake….is that a good enough reason? Maybe he was truly scared of me finding out but he did cheat right? Do you believe the story that Uju did something to him? That he did not know he was *cking her but he thought he was dreaming? Who do you think is lying to me? Or is these all one big mistake that I should overlook? Can I overlook it?
What should I do with my cousin and my fiancé now?
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