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True Life Story: Help-Is There Any Future With Me & My Baby Daddy?

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True Life Story: Help-Is There Any Future With Me & My Baby Daddy?

Dear Lively Stones,

Please pardon my writing. My name is Jessy, I came down to Osun state when I lost my father in 2016 although I decided to stay here since my mother relative are here and my dad side is willing to take the only building he left for us. I got a teaching job at my area promised to present my result but unfortunately I can’t because I did not do my project due to financial instability and my health issues so I decided to help my brothers.

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Along the line I met this man and I feel in love with him though I was in a relationship with Dele(his age then was 50 and mine 28)Dele loved me and ready to take care of me and establish me but I dont want to settle down with him because of my elder sister who gave birth for a married man and she is not living with the man so I don’t want to do the same thing because of my younger brother (am afraid dont want them to be in our shoes).

So I told the man and we departed for some month. When I met my baby father ,I loved him so much and we started talking. I dont ask him or force him to do anything for me except if gives me. I introduced him to my mother and some of my elder sisters know him on phone. During our meeting I bought a lot of things for myself which his aware. I got pregnant and we fix to do introduction at least make my family know him and who is responsible for my pregnancy.

It was during the COVID-19 pandemic and I make sure everything the baby needed I bought it which I do carry him along. We fixed Feb 2,2020 as our introduction and I carried the 99%of it because I understand his pocket beside I do receive salary before him so everything we used during the intro was me and my mother. My mom was happy because am a SS and first child to do such things in our nuclear family.

I make sure I dont disturb him much to the extent of using my money for NHIS in order relief is during delivery day and to God be the glory all money spent for my son in hospital was just 5naira and I spent 78000(my mom gave us sum money but I can’t say the actual amount). My husband was working with a reputable well pastor which I wont mention but we are not recognized because it all happened outside wedlock and been asking him when we are going to stay together or do I have to raise the child under my roof alone but he doesn’t even consider nor give me a reason to think otherwise.

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After a year alot happen and I started blaming myself for not marry the first man. I do everything he supposed to do in family and also ready to follow him to his town Ikot Ekpene and I meet his entire family because have met his few people and  they are good to me .I paid my house rent NEPA bill, our son crèche money and even clothe him too he only give me 15000 for food and his not enough sometimes I don’t collect salaries and I was not happy until God bless me with my dad pension money which I used it to start food stuff in year 2021/2022.

He want support me with any even if am sick no sorry I lost my business when I gain admission to NCE again and my son was admitted in seventh day hospital I cried but I had to save my life and my son life,it was from hospital I fly up and said if my baby should die I promised him death with few minutes…this argument lead to complete 2years and I add to leave where am leaving to my family house because of my school which I will finish the program this year..

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He did not give me any support for my academic oo but during the fight I was into another relationship but because of my son I had to come and beg him again so that his son wont be affected in any means but despite all my effort till now he’s only interested in his son and not ready for any marriage commitment btw Us. I think I need to let go of him forever and never returned but still pretending as if all is fine because of my son,I want him to grow a little and besides I want to continue and go for my degree by next year.

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Dont forget am working and collection 20000 and he does not support me in my carrier, sincerely I do plan for him also no attention,care ,prayer support word of encouragement from him and if he give our baby anything I do appreciate it) he lives in the pastor house where he pays nothing, everything is free except food,he’s illiterate and I do encourage him to go for adult education where I teach him the fundamental things he need to know.

What should I do? And he pays more attention to other ladies friends relative than me…….pls should I wait or moved on ?

Anonymous

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Jzhane
Jzhane
A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J

4 COMMENTS

  1. Dear poster,you actually saw these signs and thought you were gonna cope,come what may right?

    You sponsored the “introduction” ,you acted like the man and woman,abi,what then do you expect from such a person?

    If you’re not ready for babies,why not use condom to save everyone this headache.

    A man who’s not financially stable,what exactly do you want him to do? Anyways,move on,the guy is only after his son according to you,he doesn’t really care about you,go for you degree if you can,take care of your son and get another,make sure this one marries you properly.

    Peace

  2. Dear Poster,

    It’s a pity you are at this junction.

    If I heard you correctly, you said you are SS carrier.If you tested your child to confirm his genotype?

    I will say the man wasn’t in invested into the relationship especially you from the beginning.

    As hurtful as it may sound, you have been in the relationship alone.

    Kindly stop going back to him and begging to be loved and cared for.

    You need to concentrate on your personal growth, future and future of your child.

    No regrets!

    Nothing is wrong about having a child whose father doesn’t want you for marriage.

    Sometimes, God tries to save us from doom but we will e adamant and act like good patient ladies while God actually wants us to run.

    Run! Run!

    Please, don’t force a man to stay,love or change for you. If you matter, he will become a better person for you.

    Start a fresh relationship and have no guilt about it.

    Theore you grow and find true love,you will realise the deservice you have been playing on your purpose. Wait no more. Wait no further.

    Rise up and run.

    Focus on your academics,career and child.

    Love will find you. You will be fine and happy.

    All the best.

  3. Love is blind. The man is not into marriage, but just want to be a dad. Please focus on yourself and your child. Upgrade yourself if you sincerely desire teaching job. Soon, you’ll find a better guy who values you. Stay strong for yourself, your son and mom. Whoever want to shame you shall fail woefully and be disgraced in Jesus name. You will testify.

  4. My sister begin to spend your money only on yourself and your son. That man is only a baby dad, he is not your husband not boyfriend, he is not responsible for your well being. His only obligation is to his son. He won’t marry you because he doesn’t want to. Move on with your life. Do not tie yourself down to him, you are only wasting your time. Develop yourself and stay out of any relationship. Do not get pregnant again. When you make it in life, he will come for you but you will be a fool to accept him back.

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