True Life Story: Hooked Up With My Son’s Friend Who I Am In Love With
Hello Lively Stones,
My name is Vicki (not real name). I am a dedicated member of Lively stones for two years now. Thank you so much for all you do for marriages and relationships. I have learnt quite a lot from you. I am a 39 year old divorcee. My marriage lasted five years, I have a little girl that is my sunshine.
Before my marriage, I was a single mother for many years. Yes, I made a mistake when I was 15 years old. I got pregnant for a high school boyfriend. He ran away when he found out I was pregnant. I almost killed myself because my parents were not financially ok. I had to drop out of school to have my baby because by the time I knew I was pregnant, it was over 5months gone.
So, that was how I lived my life. A single mother, raised in poverty. After three years, I left to work in Lagos doing odd jobs until I was able to continue my education and today, I am a graduate. I met my husband when I was 27 years old. We got married but the marriage ended suddenly. He cheated with our maid. We eventually separated even though he apologized but at the time, the pain he caused was too much to bear.
Since then, I have been alone, hoping one day to meet someone who will fulfil my dreams of a good husband. My son got a job at an oil company last year soon after he graduated. Things are looking good for him at age 24. He was able to buy a house in January this year and he asked me to move in with him with my daughter. So, we stay with my older son in Lekki.
My son is a good boy, I thank God he came into my life. In March, we organized a birthday party for him and some of his colleagues, friends came for the party. His friends do not believe I am his mother because I look young. One of his friends, Dave (not real name) flirted with me at the party but I shot down his advances because there was no way I was getting involved with my son’s friends.
Dave is 27 years old and since the party has not stopped trying to shoot his shot at me. My son got to know and actually told him to stay off his mother. Like Dave, I am always getting advances from men but I am not looking for just any man to sleep with. I am looking for a man to spend the rest of my life with, someone who will love and treat me right.
Dave never gives up. He was finally able to convince my son to let him talk to me. Well, things have moved further with Dave. He is a good person, well raised by his parents. But the age difference between us is my problem. I feel insecure to be dating a younger guy. He is only 3 years older than my son. But Dave does not mind one bit. He is very mature and kind.
It just that after a while, I began to feel very uncomfortable and decided to end this with Dave after 4 months of dating. Dave took it very hard. He cried. That confused me. I did could not bear it, so I agreed to continue to date Dave. I am in love with this guy. Apart from his age, everything is cool with Dave. Should I ignore how I feel about this age factor or is it a red flag?
Now, my ex husband is coming for me now. People are saying I should give him a chance because of my daughter. So, I tried to use him to forget about Dave but I can’t stop thinking about Dave. I thought maybe it was the s3x that was making it hard for me to forget him, so I slept with my ex husband. I thought maybe the feelings I have for him will make me forget Dave because I still love my ex.
However, I find myself comparing my ex to Dave and he is at 10% while Dave is like 90%…now, its like I am two timing and I dislike myself for doing that…I do not want either men to find out about each other. Should I just follow my heart for Dave and see where this thing leads? My ex is doing everything right to win me back…
What should I do please?
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