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True Life Story: Hooked Up With My Son’s Friend Who I Am In Love With

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True Life Story: Hooked Up With My Son’s Friend Who I Am In Love With

Hello Lively Stones,

My name is Vicki (not real name). I am a dedicated member of Lively stones for two years now. Thank you so much for all you do for marriages and relationships. I have learnt quite a lot from you. I am a 39 year old divorcee. My marriage lasted five years, I have a little girl that is my sunshine.

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Before my marriage, I was a single mother for many years. Yes, I made a mistake when I was 15 years old. I got pregnant for a high school boyfriend. He ran away when he found out I was pregnant. I almost killed myself because my parents were not financially ok. I had to drop out of school to have my baby because by the time I knew I was pregnant, it was over 5months gone.

So, that was how I lived my life. A single mother, raised in poverty. After three years, I left to work in Lagos doing odd jobs until I was able to continue my education and today, I am a graduate. I met my husband when I was 27 years old. We got married but the marriage ended suddenly. He cheated with our maid. We eventually separated even though he apologized but at the time, the pain he caused was too much to bear.

ALSO READ: True Life Story: I Tried To Break Up With My Girlfriend But Failed

Since then, I have been alone, hoping one day to meet someone who will fulfil my dreams of a good husband. My son got a job at an oil company last year soon after he graduated. Things are looking good for him at age 24. He was able to buy a house in January this year and he asked me to move in with him with my daughter. So, we stay with my older son in Lekki.

My son is a good boy, I thank God he came into my life. In March, we organized a birthday party for him and some of his colleagues, friends came for the party. His friends do not believe I am his mother because I look young. One of his friends, Dave (not real name) flirted with me at the party but I shot down his advances because there was no way I was getting involved with my son’s friends.

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Dave is 27 years old and since the party has not stopped trying to shoot his shot at me. My son got to know and actually told him to stay off his mother. Like Dave, I am always getting advances from men but I am not looking for just any man to sleep with. I am looking for a man to spend the rest of my life with, someone who will love and treat me right.

Dave never gives up. He was finally able to convince my son to let him talk to me. Well, things have moved further with Dave. He is a good person, well raised by his parents. But the age difference between us is my problem. I feel insecure to be dating a younger guy. He is only 3 years older than my son. But Dave does not mind one bit. He is very mature and kind.

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It just that after a while, I began to feel very uncomfortable and decided to end this with Dave after 4 months of dating. Dave took it very hard. He cried. That confused me. I did could not bear it, so I agreed to continue to date Dave. I am in love with this guy. Apart from his age, everything is cool with Dave. Should I ignore how I feel about this age factor or is it a red flag?

Now, my ex husband is coming for me now. People are saying I should give him a chance because of my daughter. So, I tried to use him to forget about Dave but I can’t stop thinking about Dave. I thought maybe it was the s3x that was making it hard for me to forget him, so I slept with my ex husband. I thought maybe the feelings I have for him will make me forget Dave because I still love my ex.

However, I find myself comparing my ex to Dave and he is at 10% while Dave is like 90%…now, its like I am two timing and I dislike myself for doing that…I do not want either men to find out about each other. Should I just follow my heart for Dave and see where this thing leads? My ex is doing everything right to win me back…

What should I do please?

Anonymous

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Jzhane
Jzhane
A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J

3 COMMENTS

  1. Madam,you made a mistake by allowing Dave’s advances,you shouldn’t have dated your son’s friend.

    Please stop seeing Dave this minute,I beg you,it won’t lead to anywhere,trust me. Erase whatever you have for Dave in your mind and move on.

    Don’t do anything that will make your son and Ex husband hate you, because when they find out,it will be disastrous even though your son is aware of your relationship with Dave,what if it gets messy at the end?

    If your Ex husband wants you back,if truly he has repented of his bad ways,then you have to forgive him but have a crucial meeting or talk with him.

    Learn to forgive please,just forgive and let go,go back to him because of your daughter.

    Do you want to be a single mother to different men? Please make your marriage work if your Ex husband is serious with what he is saying.

    Madam,abeg tell Dave off,don’t be sentimental. He is
    90% while your Ex husband is 10%, in bed,abeg stop the comparison,he is way younger ,so the energy to knack is there and he will do everything to keep you.

    I rest my case . Do the needful

  2. Madam I hope u see what I am about to write because it would help u .
    First question,why did ur ex come back now probably he has seen things moving smoothly for u and he wants to be a gold digger and nitch ,one thing I believe is once a cheater always a cheater ,they don’t change they only get smarter,ifur ex didn’t come back when things was tight he should not be allowed into ur life when things are right ,ur son was what the GOD used in wiping ur tears,he is successful at a young age even in a country like nigeria.forget ur ex .
    About the guy that is younger that want to date you, I hope he truly love u or probably he is a sugar boy ,who loves to get between the legs of older women , anyway there is one way to find out,u have been fool severally by men I won’t advice u made same mistake.
    So try and set up Dave with younger women ,what get a younger woman to seduce Dave and see if he would fall , some Playboy’s are very smart and it is only Wisdom that can guide a man.
    U have started sexing Dave ,what if Dave chest on u for some woman his age tomorrow what would u do .
    I feel u easily fall prey to this men because u easily believe people ,that’s why u believe people can change by allowing ur ex into ur life ,testt David he might also be a Playboy ,or why is he so good at sex? Do u mind asking urself if he must have been sleeping with older women before u , don’t fall for love that easily it is not cheap.

  3. How people love lying to themselves is worrisome. Your son’s friend is who you have been dating and having sex with, don’t you have some self respect.

    You think the Dave guy loves you, when will you women learn, when he is done having sex with you, he will dump and you will call men scum, but you knew what you was doing all along.

    The Dave guy is an irresponsible man, how can you hit on you friends mother, date her and have sex with her, how does it make sense to him. You have been fornicating, you better stop, sex is not for adults, it is for married people.

    I put it to you that you know what is right and what is wrong. As for your ex, if you love him, go for him, but you just can’t trust people, people will cheat on you because they have the choice to do it, when caught they only become smarter on hiding it from you.

    I wish you well.

    ✌️

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