True Life Story: How Anger Pushed Me To Carry Out A Dirty Revenge
Hello Lively Stones,
Anger is bad. Very bad. Revenge is dirty. I don’t know how I can ever correct this huge mistake I made out of anger towards my husband simply because I wanted to carry out a dirty revenge on him? My husband and I met over a year ago and dated for almost 7 months before we got married. The engagement was chaotic. We both have short tempers and usually get into heated arguments with each other. We broke up twice in seven months but he kept begging me to come back and promised to get better.
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For me, I think I know my faults but I was also scared of loosing him and being alone. I had been engaged before, for three years and it ended up not working out. I was single for so long so being in this relationship, I was afraid. However, we went to counselling…my fiance did…he was advised to break up with me which he tried to but somehow, we decided to get married, instead of breaking up.
Our families threw a very big wedding in Akure. It was the talk of the town. But soon after wedding, our arguments turned in physical fights. We both cant stand each other. My husband says I a wild dog who is not meant to be married but to anyone. Maybe he is right…cos I was not ready to backdown or compromise. And no one advised me, after we quarrel, I would refuse to have s3x with him for days and that would drive him more angry.
Then he decided to leave me alone and stop begging for s3x. He was wrongly advised by someone and so my husband intentionally got close to someone, because he wanted to make me jealous. But my hot head, not only made me jealous, I got so upset that I wanted revenge on my husband. Just two months after marriage o, that is when all these drama started happening.
I went to this gym and registered. I flirted with guys there and slept with two guys I met from the gym. A guy there suggested a threesome if I wanted to have fun…I don’t know what I was thinking….I was just crazy vengeful….there was alot of alcohol the day it happened….I thought I was punishing my husband…..Unfortunately for me, someone made a s3x tape of me and these guys…and has sent it to me, threatening to release the tape soon. The guys said they didn’t do it but I am suspecting them seriously…maybe this is what they do with lonely s3x starved married woman. They are asking for N20M. I am freaking out right now.
I am panicking cos I don’t want any of my family or my husband to find out. I have been crying since. My husband noticed and has been asking me what the issue is, I could not tell him so he started apologizing and confessed that he is not cheating on me but just trying to make me feel jealous. He then called the woman he was pretending with and she also confirmed they were just pretending.
This revelation made me cry more cos I have just realized that I am a fool for going to such extremes just to punish my husband when I suspected him of cheating. I had to confess to my husband what happened. He was too shocked that I did not just cheat in him with one guy but two guys at the same time….he took his things and left him. Since almost 3 weeks, I have not heard from him.
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Meanwhile, I still get threatening messages to send the N20M or they release the video. This morning, they have released the video on X (twitter) but they blocked my face. They said if I dont send the money by end of tomorrow, they will release the full video with my full face. Please ma, I need advise. I am so afraid of my family finding out…..this will k#ll be unforgiveable. Also, how do I ever find a way to make my husband forgive me? Or do you think my two months old marriage is over?
My fear now is, I hope I have not pushed him to go back to that woman he was pretending with? What if they now become real…oh God…what have I done? Why ..why…am I cursed….why am I so short tempered?
Please advise me.
Anonymous
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Dear poster,please forget about marriage for now and work on your short temper,work on your temperament,work on your life both spiritually, mentally, socially and other wise……
Everyone mustn’t marry especially someone like you,you went too far,haba mana! You went just too far,so marriage is no longer sacred….
You need to forget about marriage because your husband is done with you and he is not coming back to you anytime soon,start getting ready to sign the divorce papers…..
What you were actually scared of when you were unmarried has surfaced in marriage,you were afraid of being lonely and alone,now nko?
Madam poster,you were actually in your right senses when you took this drastic decision called “revenge “,you wanted to get back at your husband for doing what exactly? …. Your husband deserves better and I pray he finds a well mannered and cool headed woman and also very beautiful too
Now for the sex tape,don’t give them the 20M,tell them to release it that you no longer care,dare them,tell them to go ahead…. You know why? If you give them 100M,they will keep blackmailing you,so what’s the need? Tell them to release it, your nudes will only but trend for a couple of weeks and everyone will forget about it ,you remember Empress Njama,Tiwa Savage etc,these ones are even celebrities sef, so relax your mind and stop crying before you will cause another thing to your health….. Stop crying and work on your attitude,temper and your mental health…… Ire ooooooo
Hello aunty what you can do is three things namely
prepare to sign divorce papers
Go for therapy and personal retreat
Tell them to post the videos and pick up lessons learnt as a woman and adult
I wouldnt rub it in but pickup lessons
Dear poster you should given some thought before you journey the road of uttermost anger and revenge
Will it make you feel better? Likely not; you’ll feel rotten about yourself.
Will your friends and family be proud of you? Likely not; if anything you will disappoint them.
Will it repair your marriage? Likely not. It will be a bigger mess.
Will it help you move on? Likely not. You’ll be in relationship hell.
Will it help you with your future relationships? Likely not; those that cheat typically cheat again.
If your looking to cause your husband pain, which is usually what revenge is about, there are other ways. E.g Move on or let him go etc
If you had want to save your marriage, you should have face your pain and work on YOUR emotional reactions first before dealing with the issue of cheating. This could have been done better if the two of you had gone for marriage counseling together.
Anyways don’t give in to blackmailers because they will turn you into their new source of income and it won’t end well either
My advice is that you turn a new leaf, work on your temperament and emotions. You could seek forgiveness from your husband but don’t expect or get entitled that good might come out of it soon because everything is already in a big mess, just lower your expectations but give it a try and face your shame you can’t run from it.
I pray mercy finds you once again
Dear reader, in marriage you need to understand something the partner’s can’t be both hot at once, one would be a sheep and the other be a goat, you should have tried to work on your anger before marriage, now in marriage you have cheated out of anger you say, in marriage do me i do you can’t work, for your husband only if he thinks so deep that when he would come back, just zero your mind that he might not come back, work on becoming better and correct your mistakes, for those blackmailing you abeg leave them let them post, ignore them and face your life.