HomeAdviceTrue Life Story: How Do I Escape From This Prison Called Marriage?

True Life Story: How Do I Escape From This Prison Called Marriage?


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Hi Lively Stones,

This story is for my childhood friend. Please post anonymously. My friend is in a fix and needs help. It all started when she was 27 years old. This is her story: I started doing buying and selling of thrift items since I could not find a job after three years after my HND. I actually got a loan from a micro finance bank. It was a loan of 300k. I was doing well and repaying the loan on a month-to-month basis. After that, I started to save money when John came into my life.

John was someone I met on a trip to Babadary, we exchanged nos. He seemed like a decent guy. He told me he liked me and we started dating. After 4 months of dating, John claimed he can help me invest my money so I can have more money to japa which has always been my dream. John told me about Forest and other investment. He convinced me to give him 1M that I saved and made me borrow another 1M from micro finance bank, he was to turn the 2M into 6M in three months.

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Long story short, John scammed me. He ran away with my money, I never could locate him. His family he introduced me to said they don’t know where he is. The case in with the police. I almost died. For 2 weeks I could not function.  The micro finance bank did not waste time to arrest me. I had to give all my jewelries and my dad’s okaada as collateral before I was left on bail.

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I was given 2 weeks to return the 1M. My friend introduced me to a local ajor man (contribution man) who agreed to loan me the 1M to pay back in 6 months. I paid the bank but I could not quite function in my business to make any serious money after what I went through. Plus the rate of dollars to import items had gone up so bad, many people were even pulling out of the okrika business.

Six months came and I had only been able to raise 120k to pay this ajor man. He summoned me and reminded me that I took an oath to pay the money in six months or I give myself to him. By giving myself to him, this man operates a prostitution club, it means I have to come work for him to pay back the money I owe him. I cried and begged the man to give me more time.

He gave me 3 extra months, I was only able to raise 300k from family and friends. The ajor man was not satisfied, but he had pity on me, he said I can be his mistress to pay back the loan, that I do not need to sell my body to men, but I will service him for a year. That seemed like a good plan. So, I agreed. It was just S** after all but this man was always demanding S** every day, very rough and all.

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A year passed and he refused to let me go. He said he was in love with me, that he wants to marry me. He already has like four wives and other baby mamas.  I told him no way, that agreement is agreement. He refused and said even if I bring money and pay the remaining balance, he won’t let me go. He is a very influential man around here, if I try to run, he has people watching me. He took drinks to my family that he wants to marry me, out of fear, my dad agreed.

Now, I am stuck in a marriage cos I trusted a scammer called John. I have a baby girl for ajor man (I refuse to call him my husband) cos he deceived to have a baby, saying he will let me go after having a baby for him but now, I am always thinking of how I will run away cos Ajor man will not let me work or leave the house. He knows I will run away if he lets me out of his sight. I cannot go to police cos when I tried to tell one police man I saw on our street one day, he asked me to go and settle my issue with my husband. I am frustrated and I want to die of boredom.

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I am tired of this prison. Yes, I am being provided for but this is not my idea of marriage. My family have even told me to forget about running away simply because ajor man is sending money to them. They are all saying I will learn to love him later. Is that true? I dont love him, my family says love does not matter as long as the man is taking of me. His other wives h*te me cos he likes me more than them. I never wanted to be in a polygamous home. I will soon be 30 years old. I am not happy…I want to be free.

The only way this man will let me go is, if I cheat on him. He might deal with the person I cheat with but may let me go cos he always say he cannot share a woman with another man. I am scared but there is this man that lives in our compound, always bringing different girls to his room, should I seduce him to sleep with me so ajor man can release me?

I have noticed the man looking at me one time….should I flirt with him…even some of the married women in our compound are trying to get his attention….will it work or will it cause more trouble for me?  I want to disgrace ajor man so much that he will have no choice but to send me away.Please how do I go about this. Keep me anonymous.

From Anonymous


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A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J


  1. ….and your daughter? What will happen to her. You need to start thinking more naturedly rather than emotionally. You need to be strategic. Can you convince your baby daddy to help you start a business. Liberation requires financial freedom.
    Stop fighting him and start strategizing.
    Seek help from ngo’s that support women.
    Empower yourself but don’t let your baby daddy suspect you.
    Very soon that man will find another woman that will bedazzle him and then he will take his eyes off you.

  2. Dear poster,this is very serious. She made a mistake not signing a contract of agreement that it won’t exceed a year. The man new from onset what he was doing.you need to help your friend as soon as possible so she doesn’t add to what’s on ground.seducing the neighbor is not the way out.look for NGOs,that can help her situation.we don’t know the outcome if she goes to another police to report.the best is to look for NGOs that would assist her.running away won’t help.no matter where she runs to the man might locate her.spiritually or physically. most of this ajo people use jazz.and hopefully someone in the group knows a good police so the man can be arrested.
    she needs to be free from him to get her sanity.please she shouldn’t leave her daughter with the man no matter what please.
    My thoughts.


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