True Life Story: How Do I Express My Feelings To Someone Who Has Friend Zoned Me?
Hello Lively Stones,
I need a little advice please. A colleague of mine, Sherri (not real name) was in an abusive relationship. Can you imagine, she was just married to the unfortunate man last year o. Sherri did her youth service with our company. I still remember the day that she was posted to our company. I was one of the first friends she made. Me, like most people were stunned at such a beautiful girl.
Sherri busted our bubbles when she told us that she was engaged. To a rich Naval officer. From what I gathered, it was an arranged marriage because Sherri is 24 while the man is in his 40s. But Sherri is very respectful and well mannered girl. Everyone liked her in the office. Like I said, I was one of her first and closest friend in the office.
That was why I was the first to notice that she was in an abusive relationship. From the way the man used to shout at her on the phone before they got married. Then when they got married, I started noticing she was withdrawing into her shell more. I questioned and questioned her but she refused to talk. Until one day, she was so disoriented at work, I knew she was not herself….I forced her to open up.
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Sherri told me how she was being abused both S**ually and emotionally by her husband. I was upset. And I encouraged her to tell her parents which she did but they were afraid of the navel man. Eventually, Sherri moved out of her marriage and filed for divorce. This was in November last year. The man was drunk and came home with some of his drunk friends. He and his friends descended on Sherri and all three men gang raped her.
Then I got my elder brother who is also in the Navy to speak to her husband’s superiors and he was suspended and transferred out of town. Of course I made sure that I was not revealed as the one who reported him. But Sherri ran for her dear life after that ordeal. She went to live with her Aunt and was not seen until sometime in March this year when she reached out and told me she had filed for divorce, so she would be resuming back to work.
We were all so happy to see Sherri back to work in April. She is still shaken by the whole thing but she is gradually getting back to her whole self. Now, the issue for me is that, now that most guys see that Sherri is almost single, they seem to be shooting their shot. Sherri told me how one of our senior managers asked her out for dinner. Her divorce is not yet final but she says she’s getting a lot of attention from guys both outside and inside work.
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Sherri is asking for my advice. She wants to know if its too early to start dating again? She does not want to make any mistakes but I also see she is the type that is very emotional. She wants attention too. Also, her family is on her neck…seeing that she is about to be a young divorcee…they want her to marry quickly.
Sherri trusts me, that is why she is asking my opinion. I told her to wait a little…maybe by the end of this year. But to be honest, I am also someone who likes Sherri alot. I may be in love with her too. I think I am. But I am afraid of ruining our friendship. I am also afraid of loosing her to all these attention she is getting from these men.
Please advice me…Sherri trusts me so much…should I tell her how I feel about her or should I wait a little? What if she does not see me romantically? Because, she has always seen me as a friend … more like brother if I may…she has even tried to hook me up with some of her friends in the past…and she made it seem like I was more of a friend or brother to them. Sherri has told me things she has never told anyone. I am the only one who knows that she was gang raped.
So…if I wait a little because I think she is still not ready to jump into another relationship…I care about her…I think she needs time to heal more but What if as I am waiting, someone else catches her attention? She told me that she informed the manager that is disturbing her that she is not ready and the guy said he will wait for her. Sherri thinks he is nice and I felt a little jealous that she may soon be liking him…
Thats is another reason I am afraid. Sherri likes rich men. She wants high class men. I am still upcoming. Barely worked 5 years but am not doing badly but not like the league of big men that Sherri like. I think her parents too wnat wealthy suitors for her and heir other sisters.
I am afraid of loosing her again….what should I do…tell her about my feelings or shut up and see if she will notice? its like she has friend zoned me. Please advice.
Anonymous
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This is not how they friend zone somebody oooo,please shoot your shot asap,don’t waste anymore time.
Now remember she loves rich men,you better note that,think twice but not withstanding,shoot your shot,abeg no waste time,thank you.
Tell her. Let her decide don’t jump the gun. If she is willing you may have a chance to convince her of the things that really matter in a marriage.
If she says to wait then be patient and wait, but if she says no, then give her some space. You can be her friend but don’t get your hopes up.
Shoot your shot man, but have it at the back of your mind that she may reject you. People like that end up making the same mistakes again. If she refuses you, then withdraw from her little by little. The sad thing is that if you’re not emotionally strong and she hooks up with someone else, you may never recover until you leave that company. But I hope it goes in your way.
Cheers.
Bro, you already know she and her family likes rich men. Leave her, you don’t love her, you pity her and it has grown into affection, it happens. Be a grown man, caution your thoughts.
If you go ahead and ask her out she may accept, cause she likes your personality, but you guys won’t have a healthy relationship. She’s already used to rich guys, what will you do when the billings start? She’ll eventually cheat and serve u breakfast (not just for her interest but her family too).
Keep it friendzone.
I think you are a man that has a weak masculine frame, i saw it from your post, you are desperate and needy, haven’t you seen women before?
Please, stop acting like you havent seen women before. Leave her alone, you are so needy to the point that she has friend zoned you, you gave unnecessary attention cos you are desperate for her.
Please wake up, you said she likes rich men and you said you are just okay, you even said you are afraid she already likes another man and also afraid of lossing her, bro, you are a weak man, get your frame back.
It is foolishness to make a woman the center of your world. Wake up bro and leave her alone.
✌