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True Life Story: How Do I Handle My Fantasies Of An Attractive Colleague?


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True Life Story: How Do I Handle My Fantasies Of An Attractive Colleague?

Hello Lively Stones,

You can say that I am newly married. I got married seven months ago after a dating my husband on long distance for one year. My husband is in Germany and he is working on me coming to join him permanently. That will be after I complete my masters degree program next year. In the meantime, I have a job that I love. At work, there is this handsome guy that was transferred to our unit, his family is in Canada, he also is planning to go and join them permanently but things have not worked out.

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When he was transferred to our unit, we started being friends…we both understood what it means to have your loved ones very far away from you. We used to encourage each other but I found out, this man is very attractive. Anytime I am around him, I feel somehow…like I find myself lusting over him. Initially, I tell myself its just because my husband is not here.

ALSO READ: True Life Story: My Boyfriend Wants An Open Marriage-What Should I Expect?

I love my husband….he knows that long distance is not easy. Even when we are dating…so he used to buy me s3x toys to hold body since he was not there. One thing my husband loves is, for him to watch me pleasure myself and it helps him also hold body. Its our secret way of having intimacy since we are not together.

One day, I was talking to my colleague and we were sharing a little too much about our situation…when he asked me how do I cope with s3xual urge since my husband is not around….I laughed and told him about me and my husband’s secret way of having s3x while in the distance relationship. This seemed to excite him and he said he will try it with his wife. After he did, he excitedly came to tell me that it was such a great idea…..that his wife enjoyed it so much.

Well, I was happy he liked the idea but I was surprised a few days later, when he said, he would like to watch me use s3x toys on me. I told him no way….I felt it was an expensive joke…so I told him to stop it. He apologized and said he was just playing. Since that time, he has been very nice to me but I also noticed he may be trying to seduce me…he likes to hug me when he greets me in the morning and for others, it seems like a harmless hug but he makes sure I feel his bulge when he hugs me.

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Since then, I have been trying to avoid hugging him…it makes me loose my breathe. I know its wrong to be saying this but you are the only one I can tell. I feel weak around this man. And I think he knows cos I can’t seem to behave normal around him…I find myself shaking a little bit. Yesterday was my birthday. I was celebrated in the office by my colleagues…this guy gave me a gift and whispered to me, do not open it in the office.

I was curious what the gift was. I opened it hurriedly at home and it was a brand new dildo…it had a little note which read: Think of me when you use it…I know you want me…I want you too but I understand you want to be faithful so pretend I am watching you when you use this. I am so sorry….I feel bad for saying this…I know I should not have accepted such a gift or complied with what the note said but I did.

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I used the D on myself and I fantasized this guy was watching me and it felt really good. So good…I experienced multiples Os if you know what I mean. Now, I cannot go to work cos I know if I see him in person….I will cross that boundary…in my fantasy yesterday I already had s3x with him multiple times. I can’t go to work but how do I explain to my boss or my husband why I want to quit the job?

How do I stop thinking about this man and stop being drawn to him? Please advice before its too late.


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A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J


  1. Happy birthday to you in arrears.

    Young woman,you have to put a stop to whatever you are doing or having with that colleague of yours,he is married and you are married,so what exactly are you both thinking?

    Is it until you have sex physically and then you start regretting and calling devil’s name,ehhhh.

    Now that the devil is on his own and has not pushed both of you into cheating on your partners,you better use your brain and desist from this devilish act . Throw away the dildo he gave to you abi na wetin una dey call am?

    You need Jesus as we speak,He needs to come into your life,dwell within you and be your Lord and personal saviour in matters like this, it’s obvious you can’t even control yourself around this colleague of yours.

    Avoid him,set things straight,be firm and resist all of his advances.

    God bless you! Don’t cheat on your husband,be warned! Speak to your body,your body is the temple of God and not for your colleague,e get why.

  2. Dear poster, u should have returned the dildo and warned him severely, u made a mistake by telling him about u and ur hubby’s secret, now he understands u are sex starved and trying to seduce u, I will advice u to forget about him, he just wants to shag u, so as to quench his desires, it’s best u do away with him,…don’t cheat on your husband most especially when he hasn’t done anything to you, it’s best u seek for a transfer or simply start job hunting….don’t put yourself in a position were u will start saying had I know, a word is enough for the wise…focus on your marriage,peace dear…

  3. Don’t understand how people fall easily for office romance. Have it at the back of your mind it’s just sex he wants he doesn’t love you. It’s just sex he wants because you’re both not getting it and he knows you would fall. Be strong. You need to pull yourself together it’s just a game for him. Do not break your marriage for one fling o.the moment you start with him it has finished. Do not let him use you. Stay away from him. It’s not too difficult the moment you make up your mind and accept it’s only sex he wants and of which a new lady might still come to the office which means he would run the both of you the better you run. Do not let him use you. Use your head please.throw the dildo away or return it back to him. You don’t need both of them please.

  4. Dear writer,

    I understand how you feel but your colleague can’t love you like your husband does, so ignore your lust over him.

    Make up your mind to be faithful. Write many reasons you should be faithful in a journal, also do the same for why you shouldn’t cheat.

    The consequences will be much and shameful. That guy can’t stand by you if anything goes wrong.

    If you wish to resign, do so soon.

    Apply self control and resist the feeling. I wish you well.

  5. The way you are going, sooner or later you will lose your marriage and that guy will go to Canada to be with his family. Now tell me, what’s your gain? Nothing. How would you feel if your husband cheats on you? I’m sure you won’t find it funny. So, please, don’t do to your husband what you wouldn’t want him to do to you. My advice for you is, set boundaries and stay faithful. Peace.


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