True Life Story: How Do I Keep My Promise To My Future Wife And Son?
Dear Lively Stones,
I am in a dilemma, I need advice on how to deal with my love life. I am a lecturer in a private university, I teach Final year and M.Sc. students. Last year, I found myself having a crush on one of my students. This student was doing badly in her studies, she then came to my office to try to proposition herself to me, for higher grades. I don’t know why but I picked interest in her, instead of sleeping with her, I decided to coach her.
This student agreed and stayed behind everyday, in my office where I gave her extra classes. Before long, she began to improve and she was very grateful. Unfortunately for me, I was now having feelings for her but its against my ethics to date or sleep with my students. So, I told her I like her but I will not pursue her until after her graduation from school. She laughed and said she can’t date me cos I don’t have money…I laughed thinking she was joking.
After graduation, I started to pursue her and she responded fine. Lets call her Linda…she made me very happy and I was in love…but she refused to make the relationship public. She said she has a boyfriend who wants to marry her but she is not in love with him but me. Linda said she was going to marry the guy cos of his wealth as her parents will never allow her marry someone without money. This really threw me off and I told her I can’t be with her if that is the mind set she has.
Braking up with Linda was hard cos she kept trying to come back. She tried to explain that it was not her choice but that she was raised to believe that she must marry someone in her parents class of social wealth and status. She said her parents will disown her if she married someone that is an employee and not an employer. I stood my ground, I was not going to be her secret lover while she goes on to marry her rich guy.
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Then she was posted to NYSC. She was still in contact with me but I kept telling her I am not for her. We became very good friends, as in…we talk with each other everyday…she tells me everything and I tell her everything. A few weeks to the end of her service year, she told me her wedding invitation was out. She said she wanted to see me one more time before she gets married. I agreed…she travelled back to spend the weekend with me and it was the most memorable days of my life.
I begged and begged her not to go ahead with the marriage to the other guy….She then said I should quit teaching and go into business, that if I make it in business, that is be my own boss in 2 years, that she will divorce her husband and come back to me. Linda got married the next month…we were still in touch…she kept reminding me of my promise to quit teaching but right now…I am at cross roads…while I know I love Linda with my life, I also love teaching as its more than a job for me…its my purpose and passion.
Eventually, I told Linda I was not going to quit teaching…that we should go our separate ways…she should focus on her marriage while move on with my life. Linda refused. She threatened to take her life…that I promised her. I had to block her so I can forget her and concentrate. About a year later, I am now in a relationship with a nurse but I was shocked when I received a visitor in my office last month and it was Linda. Linda had a baby boy with her.
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When she sat down…one look at the boy made me weak. The boy was a splitting image of me. And Linda looked so good, so beautiful. She said she wanted me to meet someone….my son. That she found out she was pregnant a week to her wedding and she knew the baby was mine. But she also knew that there was no need to say anything since we were going to be back to each other in the near future.
When Linda let me carry the boy, I teared up. Linda is still asking me to give up teaching so we can be together in the near future. That is the only way I will see my son again. Linda then vowed that if I don’t keep my promise to her, that no woman will ever love me. Since that day, I have never been able to sleep well….I have been thinking and thinking of what to do? Should I really quit teaching? And do what? I don’t know that I can be a successful business man rich enough to impress Linda’s parents for marriage.
However seeing my son…I feel like I will do anything to get him back to me….also Linda…seeing her, sent me to a place I thought I was over…I am kidding myself…I think I will never love another woman like Linda. My girlfriend has broken up with me (could that be because of the curse Linda placed or what) .Please advise me, what kind of business can I do? How do I get funding for the business? Or should I travel out of the country…that seems like a much easier option cos I can save some money to travel.
Maybe if I travel out, Linda will see me as wealthy enough to be with…Please don’t blame Linda….she is just trying to please her parents, so she does not lose their blessings and inheritance. Now, I need advice so I will not loose my son and the love of my life. How do I let another man raise my son because I couldn’t keep my promise to his mom? Please advice me.
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