True Life Story: How Do I Keep My Promise To My Future Wife And Son?
Dear Lively Stones,
I am in a dilemma, I need advice on how to deal with my love life. I am a lecturer in a private university, I teach Final year and M.Sc. students. Last year, I found myself having a crush on one of my students. This student was doing badly in her studies, she then came to my office to try to proposition herself to me, for higher grades. I don’t know why but I picked interest in her, instead of sleeping with her, I decided to coach her.
This student agreed and stayed behind everyday, in my office where I gave her extra classes. Before long, she began to improve and she was very grateful. Unfortunately for me, I was now having feelings for her but its against my ethics to date or sleep with my students. So, I told her I like her but I will not pursue her until after her graduation from school. She laughed and said she can’t date me cos I don’t have money…I laughed thinking she was joking.
After graduation, I started to pursue her and she responded fine. Lets call her Linda…she made me very happy and I was in love…but she refused to make the relationship public. She said she has a boyfriend who wants to marry her but she is not in love with him but me. Linda said she was going to marry the guy cos of his wealth as her parents will never allow her marry someone without money. This really threw me off and I told her I can’t be with her if that is the mind set she has.
Braking up with Linda was hard cos she kept trying to come back. She tried to explain that it was not her choice but that she was raised to believe that she must marry someone in her parents class of social wealth and status. She said her parents will disown her if she married someone that is an employee and not an employer. I stood my ground, I was not going to be her secret lover while she goes on to marry her rich guy.
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Then she was posted to NYSC. She was still in contact with me but I kept telling her I am not for her. We became very good friends, as in…we talk with each other everyday…she tells me everything and I tell her everything. A few weeks to the end of her service year, she told me her wedding invitation was out. She said she wanted to see me one more time before she gets married. I agreed…she travelled back to spend the weekend with me and it was the most memorable days of my life.
I begged and begged her not to go ahead with the marriage to the other guy….She then said I should quit teaching and go into business, that if I make it in business, that is be my own boss in 2 years, that she will divorce her husband and come back to me. Linda got married the next month…we were still in touch…she kept reminding me of my promise to quit teaching but right now…I am at cross roads…while I know I love Linda with my life, I also love teaching as its more than a job for me…its my purpose and passion.
Eventually, I told Linda I was not going to quit teaching…that we should go our separate ways…she should focus on her marriage while move on with my life. Linda refused. She threatened to take her life…that I promised her. I had to block her so I can forget her and concentrate. About a year later, I am now in a relationship with a nurse but I was shocked when I received a visitor in my office last month and it was Linda. Linda had a baby boy with her.
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When she sat down…one look at the boy made me weak. The boy was a splitting image of me. And Linda looked so good, so beautiful. She said she wanted me to meet someone….my son. That she found out she was pregnant a week to her wedding and she knew the baby was mine. But she also knew that there was no need to say anything since we were going to be back to each other in the near future.
When Linda let me carry the boy, I teared up. Linda is still asking me to give up teaching so we can be together in the near future. That is the only way I will see my son again. Linda then vowed that if I don’t keep my promise to her, that no woman will ever love me. Since that day, I have never been able to sleep well….I have been thinking and thinking of what to do? Should I really quit teaching? And do what? I don’t know that I can be a successful business man rich enough to impress Linda’s parents for marriage.
However seeing my son…I feel like I will do anything to get him back to me….also Linda…seeing her, sent me to a place I thought I was over…I am kidding myself…I think I will never love another woman like Linda. My girlfriend has broken up with me (could that be because of the curse Linda placed or what) .Please advise me, what kind of business can I do? How do I get funding for the business? Or should I travel out of the country…that seems like a much easier option cos I can save some money to travel.
Maybe if I travel out, Linda will see me as wealthy enough to be with…Please don’t blame Linda….she is just trying to please her parents, so she does not lose their blessings and inheritance. Now, I need advice so I will not loose my son and the love of my life. How do I let another man raise my son because I couldn’t keep my promise to his mom? Please advice me.
Anonymous
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Man listen to me carefully ,u do not in any way want a woman to dictate the course of Ur life ,she is not Ur alpha ,u are the man and in every situation she should be submissive and supportive
Linda has always been a set back from day one u fail to see it,a woman who would marry u only if u can fulfill her relentless will is a woman who NEVER love u .
If u quit Ur job Ur misery might just have started ,she can’t love u because u don’t have money ,she can’t love u until u go into business all those red flags are plague of Linda
How do u endure such chaotic relationship like seriously ?
Oga u have Ur passion ,Ur woman work is to support and direct u ,not to distract u a good woman support her man ,a wrong woman distract him
If she truly love u ,then she would bend to fit for u ,not making the course of Ur life a living hell .
Sir do not quit because of any woman once u do so ,u just registered urself into more terms and conditions u would have to meet ,she has seen u are that kind of guy where can be pushing all around no wonder she keeps giving u conditions .
For goodness sake, u are first called to Ur passion before a relationship that is why God gave Adam a garden before he gave him a woman
Do not register urself into her requirements ,u would never merit she is setting hurdles and barricades for u ,but u do not want to see that
If u would go into business do it because u feel like ,if not u would be very frustrated
What curse did she put on u ? Did u swear at anytime u would change Ur job for her if that is so , that is the only condition the curse would work
Pls leave Linda for goodness sake ,she has just twisted Ur life anyhow she want ..
About Ur child ,u have full right to take custody of him if u choose to ,but if u don’t leave her ,she is plaguing u man .
How can u feel comfortable dating a woman who voluntary left u to date another man , because to me u are her option B plan
I agree
So Linda is now the chief commander of your life abi,she can toil with you anyhow,she can toss you like a football okwaya,if you eventually venture into business and it doesn’t work,she might end up telling you to go into carpentry.
Dear poster,you are a man,be firm for once and know what you want for your life, career and future.
You will not marry Linda,she is a manipulator,she is married yet controlling you abi.
Here is the deal, continue with your work or you can travel out if you like, teaching is what you love, continue with it. Be focused,don’t allow distractions from her,if she refuses to allow you see your son,be calm,one day your son will come looking for you. Her threats are empty,just ignore.
Be firm,know what you want and stick to it. You are blessed
You are a simp, an emasculated man, an effeminate man, a mangina, a weak man, beta male and a woman worshiper. You knew what you were doing all along bro. Now you will pay the price.
You slept with a mans fiancee days before she
married, now she wants to give her husband another mans child, you are a selfish man, a greedy man.
You allowed a woman to make you act foolish, you even shattered your destiny by fornicating, only if you knew what you have done to yourself spiritually, read proverbs 5,6 and 7 and learn bro, S.e.xual immorality is highly destructive and dangerous.
I wish you well bro.
✌
Hello bros thank you for the question you asked purpose or son…..i have some question you dont have to answer just ponder…if you quit what business do u have passion for? If asked for support for the child with a growing business can you afford capital for the upkeep? How long if you travel out will it take you to stabilise to bring the mother and son to you? As much as you love the child and mother what are you willing to do to protect them since they are your responsibility? If you give up your passion will she give up her marriage and her family with their expectations?…..now you have to be strong and continue your life always extend whatever they ask of you….most especially go to God for forgiveness and direction…..my 2cents