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True Life Story: How Guilt Has Consumed Me Because I Deceived My New Wife

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True Life Story: How Guilt Has Consumed Me Because I Deceived My New Wife

Hi Lively Stones,

Please advise me because I am currently dealing with guilt. I am overwhelmed by guilt of deceiving my newly wedded wife but despite the guilt, I am unable to stop what I am doing to betray her. I never ever saw myself to be the kind of husband I am today but it appears I am in love with another lady but I found myself married to another. My wife does not deserve this kind of treatment from me. But it is really not my intention, I deceived myself and now, I have ended up deceiving my wife that I loved her. I met my wife about two years ago, she was someone that I felt peace with through out the relationship.

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Our relationship was cordial if I must say….I wanted a simple woman to marry. My thinking was; I have played around for a long time, with alot of slay queens and now its time to settle down, I want someone who may not be all that flashy but will make a good home. I found that decision a peaceful one for me. I met my wife through my sister, she introduced her as a very good girl and indeed, she is a good girl. But in truth, my wife was not really my spec. In terms of beauty or class, she is really below my spec but I did not consider that cos I wanted wife material.

However, I got a job with one of my dream companies, one of the big fours actually. And working with such professionals meant meeting and mixing more and more with the wealthy, the hot, s3xy and intelligent people in the industry and the world. Then my boss at the time was going through a very nasty divorce. My boss is a 37 year old high class lady. She got married to some Technocrat but their marriage had so much problems that they got divorced and they have been battling custody of their son ever since.

My boss and I work together alot and I am one of her brightest team member, she is always requesting my imput and sometimes we talk and travel alot. A couple of times she had flirted with me but she kept saying she and I cannot be in a relationship because of work and my fiance whom I told her about then. However, in January, when I informed her that I was taking some days off for leave, to go prepare for my wedding….my boss (lets call her Mercy) started being aggressive in her flirting with me.

Things got really heated…I had to ask her why she was doing all these after all she said before, she said she just wanted to express herself before I get married cos she feels she can’t do that after I get married. She was making moves at me at any opportunity and she is really a very s3xy lady. I thought to myself…no harm in playing around one last time before I get married…so I allowed myself to fall for her…Mercy and I started having s3x with each other almost everyday, just days to my wedding.

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I kept telling myself that all these will stop after the wedding. My wedding was on the 17th of February 2024. S3x with my bride on my wedding night was a mess…she is inexperienced and very emotional and I was very disappointed. Infact, I cut short my honeymoon cos I could not wait to get back to Mercy to f#ck her the way that I liked. I know this behavior of mine is despicable. I am ashamed of myself. I tell myself everyday that I need to end things with Mercy but we both seem unable to keep our hands to ourselves.

The fact is…I have realized that I was kidding when I thought I could marry a lesser class woman for the purpose of just having peace of mind. Right now, peace is not my priority. I want the excitement and the fun and danger that f#cking Mercy brings. It basically feels like a force of adrenaline that I need to function. And boy, being with Mercy makes me so alive but when I come home to my wife…I feel miserable and she feels like a stranger to me. My wife has started asking me what is wrong, she is feeling that we are not connecting and I am so sorry but I think I made a terrible mistake by marrying her.

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Or maybe its the s3x that is the terrible mistake…yes, It is but I look at my wife…I can’t even get an erection when she is naked in front of me…but once I sight Mercy from a distance…my heart starts racing…I can’t wait for the end of work so I can do what I want to do with her.  The thought of apologizing to my wife has crossed my wife….apologize to her and get a divorce….but the very thought of that would be too much of a betrayal I know…she did nothing wrong…she will never forgive me…my sister too that introduced her to me will never forgive me…our families will never forgive me.

Don’t get me wrong…its not all about s3x with Mercy. Its the time we spend…its the conversations we have…we vibe…we are in the same world…have the same ambitions…same drive…same taste…same passion…we have become friends over the years…we have each others back. We know each other’s deep secrets and desires…how did I convince myself to marry someone else apart from Mercy? Mercy is to blame cos she told me we couldn’t date at first,..but now…we are literally two peas in a pod. I wish Mercy gave me the green light earlier…I would not have deceived myself or my wife.

I am in deep sh*t. I need your advice…what do I do….a friend of mine that I confided in, advised me to share my story on Lively Stones. He believes that my marriage can still work…I don’t see how because I realized that I married for the wrong reason, and I cannot be myself around my wife…I feel being with Mercy is how I am being my real and true self…I realized it to late…on my wedding day, I almost backed out but I did not want to embarrass my family and her family…I did not want to create a scandal… but here I am now…stuck and unhappy …feeling guilty and confused…so I am open to any advice.

Anonymous

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Jzhane
Jzhane
A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J

9 COMMENTS

  1. Dear poster,you are just unbelievable! How can you go for a woman that’s not your spec or level? All in the name of marrying a woman that will give you peace,your wife is humble,a wife material, amazing,good and awesome but you wanted a woman with ashawo vibes with a touch of crazy life style abi.

    You and I know that as long as you’re with Mercy,your marriage with your wife will be impossible. You don’t love her, she’s not of your level,type and spec according to you,let’s stop deceiving ourselves,you already have the advise that you seek,you know what you want, you’re already regretting why you married you wife.

    If you don’t want your wife,abeg allow her to go in peace,face your Mercy but I wonder why Mercy and her husband are getting a divorce,think about it . Your marriage is not even up to 1month, odikwa egwu ooooo.

  2. So you think your wife can never be better than Mercy in all ramification?
    Let someone else grab your wife, then you will know her true skills.
    Anyway, I think you should have stuck to your kind… If is just absurd to think that you married your wife just to keep as trophy in the house.
    If you are not interested in that union just quietly beg your wife and dissolve the union amicably. Don’t waste her time any longer. You have hurt her enough

  3. Immorality is the most sweetest and exciting thing in the world. When you are in the wrong path, you find it fulfilling and wish it will never end, but before your very eyes, you will find what appears to be super exciting turn into your worse mistake.
    Stick to your wife and flee away from Mercy.

  4. Guy, you need Jesus.

    First of all, you did not marry for the wrong reasons. Peace of mind is what every man desires.
    Have you asked yourself why your boss is getting a divorce, no you haven’t. You have been entangled in the web of sin for so long that you can’t see God’s blessings before you.

    All I can say is that you should amend your ways before you would regret it in the long run.
    You have to consciously and deliberately get off that woman’s hold.
    Take your wife out, and let her meet with your high and mighty friends. To note, I didn’t see where you said she is illiterate. She is only a reserved person and an introvert. If she does not have a job, get her a good job, you both should hang out often. In the other room, teach her the tricks, you also perform well because nobody will spit out honey when put in the month.

    But if you say you want to be drawn into the river of sin, Oga settle her for deceiving and wasting her time.

  5. But I notice he has little conscience, since he knows that the wife didn’t commit any crime to warrant a divorce or attitude from him, but his odogwu always clouds him up at the thought of his sugar mummy.

    Dear poster if you are reading this, i want to tell you that there is hope for your home to be as fun and lovely as that of your sugar mummy. All you need to do is clean your wife up, mould her to the exact way you want her to be, teach her but with patience because it will take little time for her to catch up, invest in her and TRUST me you will be amazed at the outcome. Women loves to be pampered with soft care and affection apply that while teaching her, she will even learn faster and better.
    Your bedroom too, teach her all the styles you want her to engage into but make sure you do it nicely with loads of love.
    Lastly….. PLEASE LEAVE THAT SUGAR MUMMY ALONE. And focus on your marriage.
    May God help you.

  6. You are being highly unfair to your wife. No one is a fountain of knowledge. She can be taught.
    I see impatience as your major flaw. Two people in a marriage cannot know it all. One can be the learner and the other the teacher. You can be the teacher and let her learn the things she needs to know in love from you. She wasn’t exposed like you, bring her to your level of exposure and you will be amazed how she will step up.

    As for your boss, do you know what caused their divorce? Do you know the kind of woman she is? How are you sure you are the only man she’s sleeping with?

    If you truly want peace in marriage as you said, leave the riotous Mercy alone and focus on your marriage.

  7. Guy, your supervisor cannot marry you. You are below her level, and she cannot resign for you at work. Go home and meet your wife. It’s against some firm’s policy for staff to have such intimacy. Your supervisor have a need and using you to meet the need. You do not have similar need. So, you can see you are the one feeding her needs

  8. The death that kills a man begins with an appetite. Being with Mercy makes you so alive according to you. Proverbs 9:17 Stolen waters are sweet, and bread eaten in secret is pleasant. 9:18 But he knoweth not that the dead are there; and that her guests are in the depths of hell.

    Mercy is only using you. She doesn’t love you. If she does, she would never let you cheat on your wife with her. She would want your marriage to work by advising you to stay faithful. Her marriage is scattered, so she’s not happy that you’re married.

    You said, right now peace isn’t your priority. I pray it doesn’t become your number 1 priority when you can no longer find it. Probably, when Mercy is done with you.

    Men settle where there’s peace. It’s so painful that isn’t so for you.

    Try and put yourself in your wife’s shoes and know how it feels to be cheated on and betrayed. Would you be happy if she’s the one doing this to you?
    Ask yourself sincere questions
    Will you take it from her.

    You wanted a simple woman. You got it.
    You wanted someone who would make a good home. You got it.
    What exactly is your problem.

    If it’s about the sex, i have a question for you.

    What is it exactly that Mercy knows that she didn’t learn or wasn’t taught. There was a time in her life that she didn’t know what she knows today.

    You can teach your wife and make her the very woman you want in the other room.
    You can make her as classy as anyone can be. All you need do is invest in her.

    I hope the danger and fun you said you’re enjoying will not become your doom tomorrow.

    Peace.

  9. Woman wey people dey find upandan as virtuous woman you get am finish u dey use am gamble with oga for office no allow your ticket cut oh you go find tears you no go see geskia

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