True Life Story: How I Ruined The Love Of My Life Because I Was Unfaithful
Hi Lively Stones,
I need relationship advise. I met the love of my life: the most stunning and intelligent girl two years ago. I think it was love at first sight. She was my sister’s colleague that came for her birthday party. I was in a relationship at the time but I broke it off for her. I pursued her and after the initial gra gra…she was mine. Her name is Blossom (not real name). She was such a charming lady, I was in love. She was funny and made me laugh all the time. Everything was cool, the only issue was, she said no s3x before marriage.
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Usually, any girl that says no s3x before marriage to me, I drop her instantly. But I could not drop Blossom. I had found my wife …so I was ready to do anything to keep her. Being faithful was not easy.I still had alot of ladies flocking around me and there was this baddie who never let me rest. I tried to play hide and seek but eventually Blossom caught me. She was devastated and said she need space.
That space made things worse, I tried, God knows I tried but the more I tried, the more I failed. After like 3 weeks, Blossom called to say she has forgiven me and wants me back. The problem now is, I love her so much but my conscience is beating me so hard. I could not imagine that Blossom broke up with me cos of cheating and yet, I still cheated on her. I think I am not good enough for her and I feel like I would hurt her again.
So, I told her it was best we stop seeing each other. This further broke her heart and she cried, asking me why,….she started apologizing for asking for personal space…I felt so bad seeing her cry but I saw she was too innocent for me…I told her she is not the one at fault that I am the one at fault. I had to confess that I cheated several times when she needed space. This confused her more and she started thinking it was because she said no s3x before marriage that I cheated on her.
Blossom said if its s3x, that she is willing to give up her virginity to be with me if that would stop me from cheating further. To an average guy, that may seem reasonable but for me, I respect Blossom so much that I don’t want her to give up something she has kept for her future husband. I thought I was that future husband but I think our moral values differed too much. I might hurt her in future. So, I still told her no even though she begged me but sometimes, she get frustrated and starts abusing me.
I don’t have that energy … I know she is in love with me, I love her too but one minute she is begging me and another she is cursing me for leading her on and deceiving her. I eventually had to block her and tried to forget her. Not up to seven months later, I heard she was engaged to be married. My sister and their friends threw her a bridal shower. After the shower, they stopped at my sister’s place to pick up a few things and I ran into her. I tried to congratulate her but she would not look at me.
Much later that night, Blossom called me….when I picked…she refused to speak for several seconds…I kept asking : hello…hello…until she said she wanted to see me to get things off her mind. I said ok…when…she said now…so I told her I would come to her place but she said she would come to mine. Like an hour later, around almost 10.45pm, Blossom came to my place….soon as she got in….she locked the door…took off her clothes and said I should f#ck her.
Me, I was confused and I begged her to calm down…she said I rejected her even when she wanted me to sleep with her…she wants to know why I don’t find her s3xually attractive…I told her that I did but I was not in a good place when we were dating. She then said, she always wanted me to be her first and she wants me to f#ck her before she finally gets married in two weeks time. I told her I could not sleep with a married woman and she said she is not married yet.
Against everything I believe in…..it happened….I disvirgined Blossom that night. After everything she cried and told me she loves me and will love me till the day she dies. Now, I realize I messed up this girl and I asked her to break up her upcoming wedding…she refused and said, even though she loves me…she would never be with me cos I would continue to hurt her. After two weeks, she got married and has never stopped sneaking to my place for s3x.
Blossom has said even if I get married tomorrow, she would still f#ck me. I don’t know how to say no to her….and I still love her…but every day, I feel so guilty….we have tried severally to stop this affair but its very hard. And Blossom became careless….her husband found out. They had a big fight. Blossom thought that would end the marriage but the husband wanted to fight for their marriage. The husband called me and asked me to leave his wife alone and I apologized.
My sister too was mad at me and warned me to leave another man’s wife alone…that I had my chance and blew it…I also apologized to my sister but Blossom showed up at my door again…I tried to reject her….she got sniper and threatened to drink it. I called her husband to come get her….he came and the family got involved. They said Blossom is suicidal. I h@te myself for this but I don’t know what to do…Blossom blames me that her life is messed up. The husband is offering me anything to leave the wife but I told him, its the wife, not me.
The husband discovered that Blossom actually got pregnant and had an abortion cos she was not sure if it was mine or the husband’s. I am completely sorry about this whole thing and wish I never hurt Blossom. She finally filed for a divorce. Her husband is not willing to let her go…he has begged me not to accept Blossom back, to discourage her from the divorce…but Blossom is not happy with him…
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What should I do….should I discourage Blossom after all she has been through just to show how much she loves me? My sister is also against me and Blossom being together, she said its too messy and people will always blame me for destroying a marriage. How is that any of my fault? Blossom finally chose me? Is that not a sign that we are meant to be together? After all the obstacles we both have faced? I don’t understand the husband…your wife is in love with another man…she cheats on you with him and you still want her?
Some people say they don’t see what Blossom sees in me. A friend of mine says the husband knows Blossom is too good for me, maybe even too good for any man….and any man would fight to keep her but since Blossom is in love with me, that it’s like the once in a life time kind of love. My friend wants me to fight for our love.
Am I the bad person here? I am being selfish for wanting Blossom and I to be happy and be together again? Somehow, if I even discourage Blossom, don’t you think it will feel like letting down all over again? Even with a good husband (I have never seen a man fight for an unfaithful wife), she wants me… I don’t get this but I need your advise.
Anonymous
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Dear poster ,you all need Jesus,I urge you all to repent and amend your ways…. What do I mean?
*Poster…..You are a cheat and you need to stop seeing Blossom,what do you enjoy in having multiple women on bed? Ohhhh, because you’re a baddie right?Is there a Grammy award for being a baddie? I need to know….. You left Blossom and started going after many girls…… Weldone
*Blossom seem to me like a good girl with a bad girl vibes who only used her virginity as a cover up for her bad deeds,infact she is a bad ,baddoo, baddest ,I don’t seem to understand how she’s in love with a cheat like you and then you’ve the audacity to blame her husband who’s willing to fight for their marriage knowing full well that his wife has been unfaithful to him….
* For Blossom’s husband,he doesn’t seem like the regular Nigerian man that I know,a typical African man will send her packing after discovering that she even had an abortion in his house,so absurd and ridiculous of her … She even went ahead to file for a divorce and yet he still wants her,nawaoooooo …..
You all need Jesus right now because this story is complicated,like why would Blossom decide to marry a man she’s not in love with? Already cheating in marriage,does she even know that marriage is sacred? Haaaaaaaaa
She needs to go for marriage classes and be oriented about this institution and for you Mr poster,you were busy knacking another man’s wife abi
Anyways,just forget about Blossom,you can’t marry her,she will cheat on you more than you’re cheating right now,with the way she wants this thing called sex,huh! She came into your house by 10:45pm and begged you to ………her,huh!
Remove yourself from her life,don’t be the cause for another man’s broken home,be wise! Use your tongue to count your teeth and stop cheating and following women to avoid diseases and infection….. There is no gain in all these life you’re living….
Dear Poster,
Yes you are a bad person!
You say you love her, but you could not work on yourself/fight your cheating lifestyle. After pursuing her and making her love you, you still allowed her go with all the begging, ready to break are rules of no sex before marriage and all the knowledge you have of how attached she has become to you.
You should have never slept with her, your story is not adding up and you have successfully complicated her life.
My Advice:
1. respectfully have a sit down with the husband and the lady to have a discussion on the issue after you have separately have a one -one with the lady and the husband.
The lady:
Try to understand if she is having the divorce from her husband because she cannot handle not having sex with you or because of the issues of having extra marital sex with you?
The Husband:
give same findings with to her husband and try to understand his position on the issue and see if it is not just his ego at state or if he loves the lady and will be will to forgive her extra marital affair(I don’t forgive this so this is really hard for me to imagine).
2. This is all your fault and is why you have to take responsibility and ensure your manage the situation and protect the mental wellbeing of the poor innocent lady.
You have to fix the error in other not to allow the innocent lady destroy herself, and since the lady is not attached to her husband, it is up to you to take up the responsibility.
3. Marriage is not in the ceremony, it is in the agreement. you are more husband to her than her legally married husband.
I hope you guys find a mid ground and save the life of the innocent lady.
best of luck.
Dear Poster, all you need to do is find God, do what is right, and follow God words. Once this is done, the least you can do for Blossom is help reconcile her to God and encourage her to be with her husband.
You’re not a bad person and don’t see yourself as one. The lady you and you’re at peace with each other. Don’t let her down rather I will encourage you to marry her. Let her go if you’re not ready to marry her.
Stay with your wife and work things out. Your Ex can go with the your Son, they will be fine. Don’t be confused atleast try your best best to work things out. Your wife is also going to do her best but don’t make it harder. Work with her and let go of your ex for the sake of your children.