True Life Story: How I Thought Marriage Will End All My Suffering
Good day Lively Stones,
The reason I am asking for advice and any help I can get from Lively Stones family is because I have no other person to go to. I have really suffered and am at a point where i am really desperate. My name is Frances (not real name). I am 28 years old. I have lived a very hard life right from childhood. I have no parents, as I orphan, I moved from one relative to another.
I was with Aunty Philo went I met Mr. David. I was about 17 years. Mr. David was in his 30s. I used to be one of the salesgirls in Aunty Philo’s Restautant. Aunty Philo hardly paid us for being salesgirls. She gave us a place to stay and food, that is all. We depended on tips from customers to get money for ourselves. That was when Mr. David started f*cking me. I was his favorite.
Mr. David would give the other girls N500 if he f*cked them but he would give me double. The other girls envied me. Mr. David even wanted me to marry him but I knew I wanted to marry someone that will be faithful to me, he was a womanizer. Well, that was a long time ago. I left Aunty Philo’s house and came to Lagos about 6 years ago. I struggled, did some menial jobs, house maids, petty trading etc.
That was how I met my husband. He was a bakery attendant and he used to help me with free bread. He was a good man then. He told me he wanted to marry me but he did not have money. But he then got a job as a baker in one of the hotels and that is how, I agreed to marry him. It was small ceremony in my village. I still did some petty jobs like I was a cook for a woman who had a restaurant until she relocated abroad.
With no education, I hardly can get any good job but petty jobs. Things were hard but still manageable until my husband lost his job as a baker in the hotel. Since then, he decided to go into frying puff puff and other small pastries. But he is too proud to do it on the raid side, so he does it on demand or contract which is not very lucrative business. The caterers that use him are always pricing him small.
Life has been hard. We have 3 children. All under the age of 6. We had to withdraw them from school. Where we live, we can hardly pay the rent and its a hotel like face me I face you apartment. My church women fellowship contributed money for me, I started cooking food for sale around my area in the evening. That is how my family has been managing.
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Last month, in our village meeting, one of our matron lost her father and she invited us for the burial. The service of songs was going to be in Lagos while the burial in the village. So I went and that was where I ran into Mr. David. Mr. David was very happy to see me. He talked about the olden days how he was chasing me to marry him. We laughed when I told him I was married now with Children. He still looked the same, he did not age much but he was shocked how much I look older due to suffering.
Mr. David gave me 5k and said he would drop me since I was going to the mainland. I refused to let him drop me but he insisted, saying he wants to know where I live so he can be sure his ‘sister’ is ok in Lagos. I don’t know why I allowed him but I did. When we got to my place, he was shocked at where I was staying. Mr. David told me I had no business staying in such a dirty and poor environment.
I told him I know but its God’s will. He wanted me to come back to him and I told him never…I will never leave my husband and 3 children. Mr. David then said he will help me just for old days. I told him no help will make me sleep with him again. He said no, he just wants to help me cos he felt pity for me. That is how this man put his hand in his bag and gave me 350k cash.
Honestly, I could not believe my eyes. I have never seen this much money in all my life. I told him I cannot accept it, he insisted and said if I don’t take it, he will come inside my house and give it to my children. I had to accept it and I thanked him so much. He also promised to help me get a job. He gave me his no and said if I need anything, I should ask him…he always calls me his baby…he was really devastated when he saw how I was living.
To me, when I got inside the house, I did not even think of hiding the money from my husband. So I showed him the money, but I lied to him that the money is from one rich chief in our village. I don’t know how he will take it if I tell him the money is from a former sugar daddy. My husband was so happy, he started crying tears of joy. He even called Mr. David to thank him.
Mr. David told me to use the money to get another apartment cos he does not like where we stay but my husband said he wanted to use the money to start his catering business, that he will use the money to buy equipment. I refused and we started arguing and he did not speak to me for 2 days until I finally allowed him to use the money for his equipment.
I was very sad cos it means that we will still be stuck in this shamble one room apartment we are living in. And we can barely feed or even take care of ourselves cos even my cooking in the evening, that is where we eat from, so there is no profit coming from the business. I have stopped it. My only hope that my husband’s business will be good so we can all stop suffering again.
Five days after I gave my husband the money, he came home crying…crying profusely….that he has been scammed. The person he have the 350k to buy him the catering equipment has run away with the money and switched off his phone. He went to the man’s house and the man has left his house. No one has seen him for 3 days. Scammed…..I fainted….my compound people came and revived me. I have been crying since…now, I have slipped into depression.
All I want to do is die. I bought sniper the other day to drink it and die but as I was about to take it, my last baby started crying. That was how I stopped. I have lost everything…I feel like my husband is complete bad luck. Where are we going to start from now? How do you lose 350k to…
…STORY TO BE CONTINUED LATER TODAY
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Poverty is a sin, so much suffering…it is well
Chaii, this is so so sad .
Please, my dear, don’t ever contemplate suicide. It is never an option. You will suffer the consequences here on earth leaving children who will grow up cursing you for doing it and you will suffer in hell fire for eternity because you took a life that you didn’t create.
Please, don’t despair. I know you feel so so down now. BUT, hold yourself. You will come out of this.
The only thing that doesn’t have solution while we’re still here is death. As long as you are still breathing, there’s hope.
God will surely come through for you.
Wow….three whole kids even when you know the condition you’re in. I don’t know why people give birth to kids whom they can’t afford to look after. Now to get education will be a problem,food, is managing, shelter too, is just to survive. I am so mad reading this.