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True Life Story: How My Sister Rushed Into Marriage With Money But No Love


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True Life Story: How My Sister Rushed Into Marriage With Money But No Love

Hello Jzhane,

I feel like people dont understand the challenges of being in a polygamous home. I read the story of how a lady got into marrying a married man because of debt yesterday and I am surprised no one really advised the poster well. Maybe because they don’t really understand that for one to survive in a polygamous marriage, especially one that there is no love between the couple, is like living under constant fear and conflict. My own sister is also involved in a similar situation.

My sister met her husband four years ago. They were just getting to know each other but the man was very persuasive, he kept telling my sister that he wanted to marry her from day one. He showered her with gifts and she felt maybe cos the man was a bit advanced,  (he was 38 years), that he was in a hurry to marry. Before the end of two months, he had visited my family, paid bride price and they got married.

My sister’s husband spent money for the wedding, the wedding was the talk of the town. People envied my sister. It was after the wedding that my sister discovered that the man married her because the woman he loved and wanted to marry, the woman he trained through university dumped him. He wanted to prove to the woman that he could get any woman he liked, so he met my sister and married her in a second.

So my sister married into a loveless marriage. Her husband made love to her like she was a machine, no love, no romance, nothing at all…meanwhile, the woman who dumped him started coming back when she saw he got married. At first, he was rejecting the woman but later, he allowed her into their house. My sister’s husband moved my sister’s things out of the bedroom, to allow his lover move in. All these happened under six months of marriage.

Everyone was marveled at the immediate change in the man. He did not even hide it that he did not love my sister. He told my sister that he will be marrying the woman as well, so my sister can get used to being the other wife. My sister would have left the marriage but she was already pregnant. People advised her to stay because of the child, thinking the birth of the child will make the husband love her. He did not sleep with her again, he never even talked to her, he never even looked at her.

The only thing he did was send her money to take care of herself and the baby. My sister threatened to leave with the baby but the husband said if she leaves, she leaves without he baby cos its the tradition that any woman who divorces the husband will not leave with her children. My sister gave birth to a boy but the man never even cared for her. The man married the lover in a wedding 5 times bigger than my sister’s wedding.

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And the new wife made sure my sister felt unwanted in the house. She was even telling the husband to send my sister away but the man was like, he does not want to be seen as a man who married someone and dumped them hastily. That is just ego as far as I am concerned. My sister is not happy. She has thought about leaving several times but she cannot leave her son. The boy is three years old and the husband has never loved her for one day.

Yes, from the outside, people see her and think she is lucky cos there is money….she has a car and has money but she is sad. me, I have told her to leave the son with the man and go find another life for herself but some people think I am jealous of her wealth ….they even say love does not matter as long as the man is taking care of his responsibilities. I feel bad for my sister…

A few months ago, she told me she met a guy online…they chatted for weeks and the guy was really interested in her, so she asked me if she should leave to be with the guy but I told her to be careful, not to jump from frying pan to fire. The reason I said so is because, she married this guy in a hurry….so she should not be in a hurry to move on to someone else…besides, she is still married…its better she ends this marriage before she finds another man.

My mother is angry with me for advising my sister to leave…our mother is advising my sister to have a secret lover who will be taking care of her S**ually while she remain the wife of a rich man. Can you imagine that? The poor girl does not know what to do. I h*te seeing her so unhappy. I told her I will share her story so she can receive advice on lively stones marriage counselling blog. I hope she can get good advice here. God bless.

From Anonymous


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A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J


  1. Dear poster,your sister needs to leave her husband.theres no point staying in a marriage where there’s no love.she should go to court to get custody of her son.the man will never love her because he only have eyes for his first love and now she’s back he won’t look at her side.all she should think of right now is getting custody and also divorce. She needs to be free from such marriage and start afresh.

  2. What does your sister want?
    You are trying your best to help her but she has to decide how to lead.
    I think what she needs is counsel from people that deal with this kind of things. Reach out to a professional and let them help her through.
    It won’t be easy but there is always a solution

  3. For how long will she be able to cope?
    A young lady like her should not be tied down. Let her leave and file for divorce. She would be given custody of her son
    She should not get any lover to satisfy her S.e.xual desires oo
    She should be encouraged to take that bold step of walking away

  4. Chaiiii,it is a pity that your sister is in a loveless marriage. She didn’t do her proper findings about the man before saying I DO.

    Here is the deal,stay in the marriage and gather enough money,stay in the marriage till when your son is 5years or six years,this is because he needs to know who his mother is very well before you leave him with his dad because you can’t take him away according to your husband’s tradition.

    Save enough money,wait till your son gets to know you better,then you can make arrangements on how to leave the marriage and be seeing him from time to time.

    God bless you

  5. When you women allow greed to rule your hearts, a man started buying gifts for you and she too was collecting it, now she wants to leave, this is funny to me. It is why I always say it is foolishness for a man to use money and what it can get to toast women, it is foolishness but you women too with yout selfish and materialistic greed.

    She can’t leave, she made the decision to marry him, she has to tell otheer family members of this issue, as for your mother, i’m short of words, how irresponsible can some mothers be?

    Lastly, she should FORGET about seeing another man, i’m sure the other guy knows she is married, she should forget about any other man.

    Women, your greed is waht most times leads you to sad situations like this.

    I wish her well.


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