True Life Story: How Our Rocky Marriage Led To An Affair With My Father In-law
Dear Lively Stones,
This matter is very sensitive and delicate. I am very hesitant to even say it but its eating me up. I have been married for six years. I married into a wonderful family but I made a terrible mistake. The day before my wedding six years ago, my boyfriend called me and told me that he wanted to tell me a secret that has been eating him for some time. He said he does not want to get married keeping secrets.
Tearfully, he told me that he slept with a colleague at work and for it not to continue, he has resigned and gotten a new job that he will resume after our wedding. It was a very confusing moment for me. I cried because I know me too have also cheated but it was something I thought I could go to my grave with. And because it was such an emotional situation, I told him that earlier in our relationship, I had S** with my ex.
My ex had come back, begging and persuading me to come back to him that he had changed and I thought my current boyfriend was just a rebound. I mean, I was with my ex for 4 years. I missed him and fell for his lies…we had S** but things only got worse so I finally moved on and focused on my boyfriend who ended up being my husband.
This revelation hurt my husband more than his own revelation hurt me. We agreed not to cheat again but as soon as we got married, my husband continued the affair with that former colleague he resigned for. Initially he was hiding it but later, he did not care. He said I hurt him by saying he was a rebound to me after my ex came back and had S** with me. There was no day that passed that I did not get blamed for saying my husband was a rebound. I pleaded with him not to pay attention to that cos it was said in the heat of passion to an ex who just wanted to f*ck me.
My husband believed that I truly did not love him and he said he knows if my ex ever comes back again, I might f*ck him. All these excuses did not make sense to me but he kept on keeping his mistress. I got pregnant and lost the baby to depression. I refused to get pregnant again cos our marriage got worse and worse. I even contemplated divorce.
My father in-law called me when he heard that I was going to file for divorce. The whole family was tired of trying to talk to my husband but he said he too was tired of the marriage. My father in-law and his wife (my husband’s step mother, his mother had passed on years ago) live in Ikoyi. They called me to discuss with me. They begged me to be patient with their son, that they will speak to him.
I stayed a few days back with my in-laws. On Sunday morning, father in-law’s wife had gone out and asked me to help serve daddy breakfast because their cook took the day off. I made breakfast for daddy and after breakfast, we both sat down to gist. He told me how he felt sorry that his son did not appreciate having such a pretty wife like me…that of I was not his son’s wife, he would marry me instantly.
We both laughed. It was a bit uncomfortable but the next advice my father in-law gave me was….you need a man in your life…if you get yourself a man…you will forget about your husband and he will now need you back. I told him why he was giving me advice that will not be good for his son…he said his son needs to be taught a lesson. Well, I told him I am not thinking of cheating on him cos it would make things worse.
My father in-law asked me if I would like to have S** with him. I thought I heard wrong. He said he is attracted to me and would like to make me the happiest woman. I told him I do not need S** or wish to sleep with him…he came closer to me and whispered…you are a woman that her body needs pampering. Let me pamper you…let me make you feel alive again.
We went back and forth…arguing…for almost an hour. He finally convinced me. We had S**. For a 66 years old man…he did not show his age …that was another mistake. It was a S** with the wrong person but it was S** that I should not have tried cos…after that day… I could not stay away. The man may be looking old but his gbola was far stronger than most young men. He was a bull. We started having an affair…to us, it was just S**..I convinced myself that I was doing it to keep my mind away from the pain and loneliness I was feeling from my husband.
Just like my father in-law predicted…my husband started noticing I was happier and bubbly…he started to notice me and try to make up with me. He asked me if I was cheating on him and told him yes cos he pushed me to it. At this time…he became frantic…he said if I am seeing my ex again…I told him no but a new man way better than him.
My husband came home one day drunk and forced himself on me. Saying all kinds of things…that can’t I see he loves me so much…that if I leave him he would die. He asked me to give him a second chance. He broke up with his side chick. He showed me chats of her begging him not to leave her. I was like…this man is now serious so I promised him to break up with my lover and did…I called his dad and told him we are done. He agreed…
That was not the end of the drama, my husband’s side chick got pregnant…that almost destroyed my life. Affair I can forgive….a child…a constant reminder of the affair…how do I forget that? My husband agreed to take responsibility for the child but said he wanted us to work on our marriage cos he wants to be a better man.
Unfortunately, I tried to believe my husband but the knowledge that the side chick was going to have his baby made me resentful and drove me straight back to the forbidden fruit…I buried my pain in S** with my father in-law. I went back to him again and again. And then I got pregnant and was too happy but I was also scared cos I was not sure who was the father between my husband and his father. But I kept mute cos that did not matter…they are of the same blood after all.
And then I had twin boys. As the babies grew older, it was obvious they looked like their grandfather alot. They are even dark skinned whereas me and my husband are lighter in skin. Everyone just says wow…my husband’s family genes are so strong then. Thinking its the normal,, hey your kids looks like your relatives. I even spent a few months when I was pregnant with my in-laws.
People think that is why my kids look like their ‘grandpa’…not knowing that Father in-aw and I f*cked all through my pregnancy…. My father in-law has asked for a DNA test but I have refused. He said its better we know now before its my husband finds out many years later and then it would be too much then.
My father in-law wants to help me relocate to Canada with my kids if the DNA reveal the kids are his. That way, I can keep being his lover without anyone ever knowing about us. This mess has been made, I am afraid of doing the DNA test. Not because of only finding out who are the kids of my children but because I now realize how bad this looks in the eyes of our family members. This is my dilemma.
My husband has completely changed his behavior…you can see how he loves our children…his side chick gave birth to a girl…how will he feel when he finds out the children are not his. See what he did…his neglect turned me into an adulterer, is it too late for us?…its seems I have crossed a line I can never return from.
Meanwhile, father in-law is putting pressure on me. I think he wants me for himself. I don’t blame him. I too can’t stop the way I feel about him. Its very dangerous and complicated affair but what should I do to uncomplicate things…Should I take the DNA test and if it shows the children are for father…should I just leave before its too late?
What else can I do? This marriage has had too much pain and betrayals from both of us but my husband caused everything….who can blame me…this marriage was doomed from teh day we made those confessions before wedding day.
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