True Life Story: How The Man I Married Destroyed Everything And Wants To Take Me Down
Dear Lively Stones,
Men are scum. Maybe not all men but the types that are like my husband are…Chai…I have been dealt with by the man that I loved with everything and sacrificed everything for but what did I get in return apart from betrayal and heartbreak? I don’t even need to hide my details if not to protect my children the embarrassment from reading this in future. The truth is, I met and married my husband Henry when he had nothing.
We met during NYSC, fell in love and I accepted when he proposed to me. We were both jobless, but I was a very industrious woman. I was doing buying and selling and making money. Before long, I opened my boutique in Lagos Island. All these whiles, my husband could not hold a job for longer than six months before getting sacked.
That was how, we both started depending on my business money since it was adequate for us. My husband only continued working just to save face that its not his wife that is feeding him, but he brought less than 5% of our income. We got married and I was still the breadwinner. I raised 2 of his siblings from my house. Our children, I pay school fees everything.
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As time went on, his mother passed on and he was given a plot from her properties in Egeda. That was when I told him lets begin to build on the land small small so that we will not continue to pay for rent. He agreed. I single handedly built the house, a four-bedroom duplex that we eventually moved into in that land. My business has grown, and I am very comfortable.
My husband became so used to me being the bread winner. Then, he came up with a business partnership he wanted to fund, with his cousin from Turkey. He was to bring in 45M s his own investment. My husband didn’t have so he asked me to give him. All I had was about 9M, so he convinced me that we should take a loan and use the house as a collateral. I was not really happy about that but every time he reminds me the land belongs to him, so I agreed.
Long story short, the business was a scam. All the so called investors from Turkey and his cousin scammed my husband. Bank came and took our house. We had to move out of our house to rent. Yet, we still were paying the bank cos the loan had some crazy interests’ rates. Inside this our state, husband began to cheat on me with house girls and other young ladies.
Ma, I am frustrated. To see all I worked for going down the drain and this mother f*cker is cheating on me with sleazy small girls. All we do is quarrel about his unfaithfulness and he will say he is depressed, that is why he is chasing girls. Yes, he was depressed after we lost our house but I too was depressed, I did not start misbehaving na. He drinks, has no job and f*cks around any girl that will open her legs for him.
My children are seeing how things are bad. They see how their father treats me with no respect. Even one yeye girl came to tell me that she was pregnant for my husband, I told her good luck cos the man sef no get money, she had to beg me for money to remove the pregnancy. I am tired. From argument, it has resulted to fighting and that makes me very sad. I want a divorce, my husband said if I like, I can go cos he knows its because he does not have money that I want to leave.
No, its not because of no money I am leaving. He has never had money since we married. He is disillusioned to think he ever had any money. I am leaving because he has completely left me dry and staying with him, I cannot progress anymore in life. My business is not doing well. And he is disrespecting me with all these cheating up and down. What am I staying in the marriage for?
Sometimes, I cry and cry …I feel like giving up cos I am getting to 40 years and have nothing to sow for it except my children. I want a clean start in life and I cannot do it with this man in my life….he is sucking the air in my lungs….I feel I cannot breathe anymore. He has refused to accept responsibilities since we got married over eleven years now. He refuses to stop humiliating me. There is no love in this marriage…its just hell.
Now, he has said I can do whatever I like, that I am like most women ….when things are good, they stay but when things are bad they leave….how am I like most women? How many women will stay in such a narcissistic marriage? He never thinks of anyone but himself. Never even told me sorry for losing our house…all he said was, its his land.
Tell me…of what good is it to remain in this marriage? Those telling me to pray for my husband to change…when I try to pray……all that comes to me is rage…one day, I tried to pray, I asked God to take away my husband because I am so filled with rage, I was tempted to take a knife and stab him to die. So, you see how I feel about this man? Its rage and h*te….he has destroyed my life.
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This man is going down and he wants to take me and my children down…tell me how am I wrong for wanting to leave? When all that I am making can barely sustain us, yet he demands I give him money, when I do, he goes out having S** romps with different women. He even brought some women to f*ck inside my house that I am paying rent…my daughter walked in on him having a threesome one day.
What did I do to deserve this? who did I offend? My family members are blaming me for spoiling him, that I took over the responsibilities of a man when I married him and so he does not even see that its abnormal for him not to be responsible….to him, everything I do, is my responsibilities….I need advise….why should I stay …I have become a laughingstock…. a shadow of myself…what is there to stay for?
Anonymous
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Nne you made your husband the woman and became the man(breadwinner). I’m sorry that you have to go through all these for an ungrateful man,an ingrate.
Sorry for your loss,loss of land including the building, everything you have spent and still spending.
You have to leave that marriage for your sanity,your children can’t continue to see or witness such,please leave to live.
There is no point remaining in a loveless marriage,you have tried for 11years na,abeg you need to have a life,you need to breathe,he is slowing and sucking you dry and also taking you backwards in life,do you know what you would have achieved without him? Alot!
It is better you leave instead of attempting to kill him with a ️ knife,abeg leave oooooo.
God bless you nne,the Lord shall send you help and comfort you,chaiii,it is not easy,I understand everything you have gone through in the hands of an ungrateful man. I love you
Biko, separate from that man before he runs you mad. He is so depressed that it will take the grace of God to bring him out.
You need to start afresh, God will be your strength
Madam, I am against divorce but “separation” I am in total support, you need to move before this man turn to you to beggar, and wreck your children’s life!!! I will advise you forgive him in your heart and remember him in your prayer and still carry your children and stay away from him . The man is going through so much for his old but childish brain, and it is only God that can heal him of that. so, you need to pray for him. And I really feel your pain.
Dear poster , like everyone have said, please LEAVE!!!
hE is a Devourer, a no-good, a man leaving in fantasy, a lazy man. Look at how hes handling depression! Hes also a mANIPULATOR., Having made you build on a land in his name and reminds you it belongs to him just to extort money from you. Thats manipulation!.
He needs more than prayers, he needs deliverance.
You dont have to be under the same roof with him to pray for him. Please leave first for your sanity sakes. And for your children. See one is already having a sight of three-some!
Thank God you have some funds to sort yourself. Thats what prevent some women from leaving abusive marriages. Please avoid being suicidal. Help those Children and leave first.
God be with you.