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True Life Story: I Helped My Ex Boyfriend Out Of Pity But He Is Trying To Mess Me Up


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True Life Story: I Helped My Ex Boyfriend Out Of Pity But He Is Trying To Mess Me Up

I was with my ex for 4 years but he was into Yahoo, betting and some shady business. He was intoxicated with making so much money that he also lost so much money. Even with all of these, he was a very good boyfriend to me. He was kind and caring and provided for me and my family. He did the same for his family but we eventually broke up cos I could not picture myself marrying him knowing what he does for a living.

Its been five years since we broke up. I got married a year later. I have a three year old son with my husband. Last December, when I went home, my ex sister came to see me and told me how things changed for their family. My ex got into several bad loans and he lost all his money and things have been difficult. I gave her 20k but she was begging me to help her brother.

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Her brother, who is my ex later came to see me and was begging me to help him. I was like how? He said he needs a job in Lagos, he heard my husband has several companies. I told him I cannot help him cos if my husband finds out we used to date, he may not like it. He promised to make sure no one knew about us at all.

I took his CV and gave it to the manager in my husband’s company. They employed him as driver and later on, made him head driver. He worked really hard and proved himself under this one year. And no one really knew he was my ex cos I try to stay away from the business as well.

And then, in October, my husband’s younger cousin who came to do youth service in the company fell in love with my ex. I did not know since October until this girl confided in me that she is dating the head driver. I was shaken cos I was afraid my ex will now be exposed. I had to call him and warn him…I asked him to drop the idea of dating a relative of my husband cos he may just expose himself and he will be sacked.

My ex told me not to worry, that the girl will not find out but that did not stop my fears. You can imagine my shock when we all travelled home this Christmas and my husband’s cousin brings my ex to introduce to my husband as her boyfriend and that they are seriously thinking of marriage.

First, my brother who was with us in my husband’s village house was shocked and pulled me aside. He said its like my ex has an agenda. That why is he dating my husband’s relative? He told me he would visit him and warn him personally. I told him not to worry, that I will take care of it myself because I know my brother will beat him up if he goes to see him.

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The next day, I went to my ex’s family house and I warned him to stop seeing my husband’s cousin or he will be fired. This guy had the nerve to drag me inside his room and said he wants to talk to me in private. Before I knew what was going on, he pushed his lips on mine, squeezing my breasts and holding me very tight.

I fought him off like mad before I was able to break free. I was like, Chuks (my ex not real name) was is wrong with you? Is this your plan all along? To try to get close to me and ruin my marriage? he started to apologize, saying that he can never stop loving me. But that he is not going after the cousin because of me…that he just likes the girl so much but he cannot lie to me that he loves me and seeing me in his house brought back memories and turned him on badly.

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Chuks thinks I still love him. That was why I was jealous he was with my husband’s cousin. Chuks thinks I helped him get a job cos I still love him. He said if I was still with him, he would have been successful like my husband and he would have been the father of my son.

With all the speed I could muster, I ran out of his house. Chuks broke up with the cousin cos he promised not to expose us. But now that I know that he still has feelings for me is seriously putting me on the edge. I feel like I am playing with fire.

I cannot tell anyone this but I have not stopped thinking of that kiss we had back in Chuk’s house last week. I swear, I never thought about him since we broke up years ago. I only helped him get a job cos of all the good things he did for me and my family when we were dating many years ago. Now, those feelings are messing with my head…

To make matters worse, when we got back to Lagos, my husband’s driver came down with covid so the company had to send another driver to replace him for the time being. Guess who they sent? They sent Chuks….my ex!!!…I forgot Chuks is head driver and he could have posted any other driver but he decided to post himself…I am dead…Chuks resumes everyday to my house since the 26th and I am having a hard time being myself…

This guy wants to ruin me…maybe he is looking for another opportunity to kiss me cos he’s always watching me when no one else is. His eyes looking so hungry with lust… Maybe I should tell the manager to fire him? Please…for the sake of my marriage and my sanity? I called his sister yesterday to talk to him to stop whatever he is planning and his sister said I have to be very careful, that her brother  has never gotten over me….that she will try to talk to him but she knows no one can change his mind.

Now, I guess I have no choice but to fire him right? As if he knew what I was thinking, he called me yesterday evening…that I should not make him loose his job or my husband will find out who he really is. That he will tell my husband and his cousin why he broke up with her, because I forced him to because I am still in love with him…That he will make sure my husband finds out that he is still in love with me and that I am very much aware. That how  will I explain why I was at his house last week in the village.

Chuks hung up on me before I could say anything. So, I finally realized Chuks game plan: To get me back … and I stupidly fell into his trap…how do I get rid of him without my husband knowing? Who would believe me when they find out I gave my ex boyfriend a job?

Oh my God…maybe I should allow him marry my husband’s cousin so he can take his attention off me? Should I offer him money to bribe him? Should I tell my brother to ‘talk’ to him? I pray that does not make things worse cos my brother can be violent.

Or should I take my chances and tell my husband myself? I must confess,….that is the scariest option cos I do not know how my husband will react…he may never trust me again…he may even believe Chuks that I still have feelings for him….Chuks is such an attractive guy.

Even my husband said so. He was teasing him the other day: asking him why he yet to be married cos he knows girls will be falling all over him …Chuks just smiled and said he is waiting for the right woman…that he has only loved one woman all his life and since the woman left him, his life has never been the same. I am dead, I am finished and I need help fast. What do I do please?


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A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J


  1. Now is your chance before anything goes south. Get evidence that you were only trying to help Chuks; WhatsApp texts, voice recording or even record a phone conversation if your phone has the feature. If not, download an app that enables such or get another phone to record the conversation. Ask questions that will get him to talk and make sure your original intentions are very clear.
    Then come clean to your husband. It is better he hears it from you than form another source. Get your family members to back you up and speak to him if needed.
    You have to act very fast and smart. Do not pay him off, don’t get him beaten up and most importantly DO NOT GET PHYSICAL with him at all!!! It will mess everything up!

    Best of luck

  2. Come clean with your husband about your intentions before your ex carries out his evil plans. Never for any reason be in a lonely place with him. Keep your child away from him as well. He sounds desperate and desperate people can be very dangerous. You already know his kind of person will do anything for the sake of money. Madam, use for tongue to count your teeth. Be prayerful. Shalom!

  3. I put it to you that you know what to do, if you found out that the things you mentioned happened to your husband, I mean his ex girlfriends husband employed him, and she seduced him and he hid am the things from you.

    Many people who post on this platform know what to do.

    Dear sister, pls stop deceiving yourself. An ex, you allowed him to get to this point of kissing you, fondling your breasts, looking at you seductively and you tell us you don’t know what to do.

    I laugh. Peace

  4. […] ALSO READ:True Life Story: I Helped My Ex Boyfriend Out Of Pity But He Is Trying To Mess Me Up […]


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