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True Life Story: I Made Sacrifices For My Family But Have I Betrayed My Wife Also?


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True Life Story: I Made Sacrifices For My Family But Have I Betrayed My Wife Also?

Editor’s note:

Some parts of this story has been edited to protect the identities of the characters in this story. A long read, please bear with the poster.

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Dear Lively Stones,

I do not know if most women are like my wife but this woman’s love for money and greed to have the fine things of life is the reason I have found myself in a boxed corner. Now, I am seeking advice from strangers cos I want to know what is the best decision to take now. I know some people will judge me and even insult me but I just wanted a better life for myself and my family.

Every action has consequences in life and sacrifices have been made for us to be where we are now. There is no such thing as honest living or innocent people if you want to have the kind of life that the likes of the big men, politicians, business moguls or celebrities have. Many did the same as me or even worse but here is my story.

My wife and I met when I had nothing and she struggled to help me finish school cos I did part time degree. For four years, she was carrying the house, kids and me financially. I told her to stop working when I got a job as a banker five years ago. And things were good then.

The, two years ago, I lost my job in one of the contemporary banks in Lagos. I got myself involved with a customer that had some fraudulent dealings with some people. I swear, I had no idea, I only wanted to make some money from helping the customer. I was the regular good guy, but eventually, the customer was picked up for fraud and framed me and my company let me go after the investigation showed my part in this whole situation.

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My family was badly hit because I am the bread winner. I felt so bad because I have done nothing bad in all my life, I tried to make an honest living all my life but here we found ourselves, getting poorer and poorer. It became really hard to maintain the lifestyle my family was used to. I had to use my wife’s car to run taxi services for a short while but I spent money for fuel and barely made anything reasonable to bring back home for my family.

Sara (not real name), a former colleague of mine who had been in the same bank with me later on told me about a job with a new microfinance bank. The bank was being set up by a relative of hers. She recommended me for a job there cos of my experience in commercial banking. I got the job but almost rejected the offer because the targets I was given were out rightly outrageous.

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It was Sara who encouraged me to take it, that she would help with my targets. Sara promised to introduce me to some clients, some were already hers but they were wiling to do business with the micro finance bank as well. I was very grateful to Sara. A week after I started, Sara told me there were clients she wanted to introduce me to but I had to meet them in their hotel room cos there are always travelling.

As a former commercial banker, I am used to meeting clients in strange locations just to lock in an account, no matter what it takes. Bankers are no saints but personally, there are boundaries I will not cross. I could be very flirty with a female client but we will never really have s3x , no, not to that extent.

so when Sara talked about meeting clients in hotels, I was really happy. On getting to the location, it appears it was a party. I sighted some celebrities in the party too. I went about mingling. Later, Sara invited us to meet with some VIP guests in the VIP room, pent house suites. Sara handed me a mask, saying it was a mask party.

I thought this was joke but I rolled with her. We got in the private party and it was a masked s3x party. Sara directed me to the bar, asked me to make myself comfortable with drinks. I hurried to the bar cos I was still in shock. I took a few shots. I realized the drinks were laced with drugs. I became intoxicated in a few minutes.

Looking around, I did not see Sara…so many others wore same mask like hers so I could not tell who was who. Everyone was kissing and before I knew, some people were tugging at me, taking off my clothes. I have heard of such s3x parties but I have never been to one talk less of participating in one. It was a crazy experience. Everyone was under the influence of alcohol,s3x and drugs.

It lasted hours or so. By 3am, most people started leaving. I could not even find my bearing. Sara got us a taxi. There was no way I going home like that, drunk and high on drugs…my wife would kill me. We went to Sara’s place. I slept off for like another 2 hours. When I woke up, my head was pounding so bad.

I was really angry at Sara. Like why would she trick me to a s3x party? I have no idea how many people I had s3x with and what drugs they put in the drinks. Sara was like, I should stop acting ungrateful. That by Monday, I will get so many accounts to manage, that my stupidity will clear.

Still angry, I went home. Later, lied to my wife that we went for a burial ceremony for the father of one our banks big customer. Wifey knows those things happen, so she didn’t bother me. I slept the whole day. I became sick in the evening. All through Sunday, I was not feeling well.

By Monday morning, I received almost 6 missed calls. Accountants and CFOs of big companies were calling me. They were instructed to open account with my bank. It was like a dream. I got over two billion accounts that Monday. Sara called me and said, are you still crying? I just told her thank you.

My bank celebrated me that morning. I was given instant promotion. Everyone was talking about me. I was celebrating. I took my wife to dinner that evening. I promised to give her the best in life. I was so happy that I forgot my nightmare weekend. Everything seemed to be going on well with me.

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What Sara did not tell me was that to keep this success, I had to become a member of this elite s3x club. The party held last Friday of every month. When she told me a week later, I was like but Sara you did not tell me all these conditions. Sara was like, that is the only way to play with the big boys in the country. She told me that after a while, I might just be lucky to get my membership upgraded to single client s2x party.

By single client s3x party, she meant, I would be sleeping with one client a month as against participating in the group s3x party. I began to shake…what have I gotten myself into. I considered resigning and giving up all these money I have been introduced to. That day, I told my wife that I have gotten myself into something I am not proud of, just to make money…that I cannot tell her cos she would never forgive me if she knew what I did.

My wife asked me if what I did was murder, I said no…she said…if its money ritual…I said no…then she said…if its not murder or money ritual, I do not want to know what you did but if you need to keep doing it, you have my blessing to continue cos I do not want to be poor in my life. Just make sure that you do not hurt me by letting me find out if it has to do with other women. Be discreet about it. We have to build our empire and sometimes, we all have to make sacrifices.

That was what my wife said…in other words, as long as I was not into murder or money ritual, I have her permission to have s3x with clients just to keep the money coming in. I was blown away. My wife has become so materialistic. She does not care how I make the money as long as we are comfortable.

That made me angry but I do not blame her. She did not marry me to suffer right. As things went by, Sara and I also became involved. She and I had been with several s3xual partners in the parties so it did not seem weird to extend the relationship between us. Money is no longer my issue. I built two houses in less than a year. I have cars and lands.

I am very rich…no caps but I have many secrets. One of them is Sara just told me over Christmas that she is pregnant for me. I was like, no way. I will never have a child outside marriage. Sara does not want to be married. She just wants a father for her child. To me, I should have known that Sara is too rich to find a husband and she is happy with being a baby mama.

Now, this is the issue…my wife is happy with my secret ways of making money as long as its not something that would hurt her like she told me a year ago. I know this is one thing she would never agree to. I told Sara to forget about having a child for me but she is set on having the child with or without me.

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This secret … that I will be having a child outside my marriage haunts me every day. We have money, we are a happy family, business is good…but a child outside wedlock is not part of the deal. My wife always reminded me that all my moves must not hurt her and the family. She specifically said, do not bring a child from another woman into this marriage because I will kill you and the child. I do not know how serious she may be with this threat. I feel like I betrayed my wife but she encouraged this…didn’t she?

Now that this happened…what am I going to do? I do not intend telling my wife because she has warned me before….but its not my fault really…having s3x with other women could result in pregnancy…she should know the risk…I need to know if there is any point telling her or just keep this a secret too…until sometime in the future if she discovers, then we will cross the bridge when we get there?

Women love money and will do anything and encourage their husbands to do anything…isn’t she the one who got us here by what she told me? She motivated me to get to this height but then will she forgive this one betrayal or better still….should we keep this betrayal under the carpet for now? Maybe if we even do DNA text in future and the baby is not mine, maybe I will be free right? Sara says she’s very sure its my baby and I cannot deny for now.

What should do…tell my wife or don’t tell? All of us are to blame here…no one is innocent but a child is coming into this world and I could be his or her father….what should I do? I know some secrets are best kept as secrets but a child? That is a secret waiting to be revealed…should I  Keep this as a secret forever or for sometime or should my family be aware? What is the best thing for everyone now?


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A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J


  1. All of these because of money. Both you and your wife knew what you were getting into was dirty so she also should bear the consequences.
    Sara obviously can raise that child by herself and she will do so whether you like it or not. She just informed you so you won’t be surprised if the child looks like you.
    I will advise you don’t tell your wife now but you can confide in any of your family member.
    If you are still scared you can give up your right as a father to someone else or sign a legal document relieving you or your fatherly rights.
    This is such a messed up situation, I hope you have learnt or are you still in that shady business?

  2. The part that is really annoying in this story is you blaming your wife,so if you are asked to rob a bank or do money rituals all for money,you would also blame that on your wife okawaya. Anyways no too much talk,just let your wife know now because telling her later will be very very disastrous,this is for your own good,do not say I didn’t tell you. Since the good for nothing Sara is bent on having the child,tell your wife,deal with it cos you brought it upon yourself when Sara gives birth run a DNA to ascertain the paternity of the child. You are okay now right, according to you,so please desist from that sexual group, repent,accept Jesus now.

  3. It’s quite a pity you found yourself in the mess you’re currently in but I don’t see why you’re blaming your wife as if you don’t have a hand in it.
    Apart from fathering a child out of wedlock with the crazy sex party aren’t you still thinking of STDs and sharing same with your wife.
    I don’t want to sound judgemental here but this deal of yours because of money is quite crazy.
    God won’t be pleased by this act.
    I’ll advise you tell your wife, she has to know because if the sex cult demands that you die young she has to know what you’re involved with in details.
    Forget about Sara she can take care of herself but be wary of putting your hands in this mess because of money.
    I pray God helps you to come back to him.
    God bless you.

  4. No big deal keep secret and keep the pay check coming in. Don’t tell your wife of course you know the consequences of telling her. What happens in Las Vegas stays in Las Vegas


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