True Life Story : I Prayed & Wished For A Marriage Like My Parents But I See What I Got
Hello Lively Stones,
Mine is a short story but I need your advise. I am someone who believes in the sanctity of marriage. My parents have been married for over 35 years. I always prayed to meet someone like my dad, cos he is the definition of husband material. My mother truly is a blessed woman. However, since I became an adult, I have been unlucky in love. I started dating in my university but the guy was playing with my heart.
Never miss a story — subscribe to Lively Stones Relationship Blog PUSH NOTIFICATION for daily Post to stay up-to-date on the best of what LIVELY STONES has to offer, from juicy celebrity relationship news, romantic articles to compelling true life stories
I stayed away from relationship for a while until I met a guy that I thought was the one. He was good for almost two years, I thought he was the one but eventually everything went south. I have stayed single ever since. I was determined to be celibate until I meet the one God has for me. I celebrated my 30th birthday as a single girl. It hurt but I was determined that God will do it for me.
I joined a whatsapp group eight months ago, the group is all about Christian dating and all that. I noticed one guy from the group always watching my status. One day, he said hi in my dm and we started chatting. We chatted for months. He told me everything about himself and I told him everything too. He told me he was divorced but looking for a good Christian woman to marry cos he does not want to make same mistakes like his first marriage.
What he told me was that his first wife was a lesbian and he caught her with another woman in their home. So, he wants to be sure before he marries someone else. After almost 4 months of online dating, we met for the first time. I was awestruck cos not only was he handsome, he was rich. He sent his driver to pick me up. Took me to fancy restaurants. I was treated like a queen. He gave me money too.
Another two months later, he proposed. I was over the moon. The only problem was, he had not met my family physically but they have spoken on the phone. He said his own family lived in South Africa and they will meet me after our traditional wedding in Naija cos the white wedding will be in SA. We started planning traditional wedding. We were to travel to my place for it, so he asked me to come to his place, to spend the night and next month, we both take a very early morning flight to Enugu.
That night, I saw a different man. He wanted s3x and I told him no. He said he was horny and he wanted to test to make sure I was not a lesbian. All these made me finally give myself to him. He made love to me and it was great, I can’t lie. I already saw him as my husband since we were flying out next morning for trad wedding. After he made love to me, around 2.30am, he told me he loves me and wants me to know the whole truth before the traditional wedding takes place.
That was when he told me that he was still married to his wife and she is truly a lesbian but they agreed to remain married in paper so that her sexuality can remain a secret as she is from a wealthy family and they dont want her exposed. And also, the woman is the main source of their wealth. So, everything this guy has, is for the woman. She is in SA with her lover but she comes to naija sometimes. He said they both agreed he can have a second wife but only traditionally. So, he is allowed to marry me but it can only be traditionally and that he wanted to be sure I am the right person for him before he told me.
You see ehn….I thought I was dreaming…I could not believe my ears. I just made love to this guy…our flight to Enugu is in a few hours and he is just telling me that he is still married to another woman but he can only marry me traditionally….I told him I feel deceived and cannot go through with the trad wedding. He begged me and swore to me that nothing has changed, that he will still love me and treat me right but the other marriage is like a business contract for him.
Of course we did not travel that morning. I went back home crying. I have not been myself ever since. This man is still begging me and asking me to think about it. That it will be good opportunity for me, that I will never lack anything, that I should look as someone like Regina who married a billionaire and is very happy. He said nothing is wrong with polygamous marriage if everyone has an understanding and the man is able to provide for the woman.
The problem is, he should have told me earlier…I fell in love with him, slept with him and he dropped this bombshell on me, last minute. I feel he cannot be trust worthy and I do not think this is what I should settle for after waiting for over 30 years of my life for the man that is God’s will for me. I am battling this issue in my mind. What should I do? I love him but is this the kind of life I want for myself?
More From Lively Stones
- How My Lesbian Affair Is Ruining My Married Life-Pls Advise
- True Life Story: Man Questions His Wife After Painful Secret Revealed
Is traditional marriage valid? Will my marriage be a happy one? Will the other wife be a problem? Will I not be jealous of sharing my man? What will my parents say….after training me in monogamy…now I want to enter polygamy? I told God the next man I have s3x with must be my husband, is this God’s sign to me? Will it work? Again, do you agree that he deceived me or he at least was honest by telling me the truth before the trad wedding? I need advise.
Anonymous
Do you have a story to share? We want to hear all about it. Email us at livelystonesng@gmail.com or Whatsapp +2348029870309
Share This
Dear poster,you don’t love that guy,you only love the fact that he’s rich courtesy of his lesbian wife and he’s also good on bed because you did mention that sex with him was great…..
This marriage is not for you, please find another…. Don’t be enticed by the material things you see, remember marriage is more important than the wedding….. If you marry him,get ready to be controlled by his lesbian wife and there’s nothing you can do about it because she calls the shot…..
You’re 30 and beautiful, you’re not old….. Don’t look for a husband rather train yourself to become a virtuous woman that any good man would like to live with for the rest of his life .
God bless you !
You have suddenly become too eager to get married that was why you fell into his net. Trust me he has not told you the whole truth, he still has something he is strongly keeping which he will bring out when you eventually get pregnant for him or when you give birth. Is unfortunate he has added to your body count, but I will advise you leave him now and move on. Be positive and go into relationship with your eyes open. Thanks
Dear poster sorry that you’re going through this difficult situation. It’s completely understandable that you’re feeling betrayed and confused.
My advice for you is Give yourself space and time to process your emotions and thoughts. Don’t rush into any decisions.
Let him know how you feel about his confession. Be honest and express your concerns.
Ask him questions like why he lied about being divorced, why he wants a second wife, and what he means by a “contract marriage.”
Consider whether you can trust someone who lied to you and hid important information.
Remember that your emotional and mental health is important. Don’t compromise your values and boundaries..
If you feel that trust is broken and you can’t continue, it might be best to end it.
You deserve honesty, respect, and love in a relationship. Don’t settle for less.
Remember, your parents’ happy marriage is a great example, but your journey is unique. Take your time, prioritize your well-being, and make decisions that align with your values and goals.
Wishing you all the very best
Dear Poster,
If your parents’ great marriage is your inspiration, then study marriages like that of your parents.
Ask questions about what helped them to stay married, what they love about their partners, and examine your personal desires, values, and expectations in your marriage.
I believe there is more untold by this man.
If he tries to deceive you because he knows alot from.what you told him them he is a manipulator.
He is seeking after himself and his first wife’s interest.
You are not a priority at all.
I hope he doesn’t spend a little money and marry you for business or selfish purposes like childbearing, organ harvest, and more.
Be on guard.
Stand by your values and don’t allow material things and suppose love mislead you.
You can still find love again. Someone special will find you. Count this as a lesson and be optimistic to meet a wonderful man again.
My dear poster
1. The man deceived you,he is not honest. His main target was to enter your pant so he told you things that will move you to believe him. Don’t entertain him anymore.
2 he has more to tell you. He is leaving on the wealth of his wife’s lesbobo business, now that he has seen your pants, he is pretending to be holy. Don’t fall for it again.
3. You put your emotions and feelings ahead of God’s answer to your prayers. You should have exercise a little patience to see if it’s God. But you got carried away.
4. Please, put your biological clock under control. You are 30 doesn’t mean you are expired. Be careful.
5. Finally, have a woman to woman talk with your mom, ask her a lot of “how” questions. Kneel down before her in a honesty for her to bless you.
Keep praying, we still have the good nuts out there my dear…May God strengthen you.