True Life Story: I Was Forced Into Marriage But My Life Is Worse Than Prostitution
Hello Lively Stones,
Please keep my identity private. Please share my story, I want to read peoples advise on what to do. I came to Lagos at age 18. I came to hustle cos after my WAEC, my parents could not continue to pay for my education. I stayed with a relative that had a provision shop which I helped her to manage. She promised to assist me start part time in poly after I work with her for a year.
This my relative has three children but her husband is abroad and has not come to see her for many years. I used to see her move around with young men but I mind my own business. I met a young man who I thought took interest in my spiritual welfare, he invited me to his church, which I went and we became friends. Unfortunately, I got pregnant for this guy. When I told him, he wanted me to remove the pregnancy so I reported him to the pastor.
The pastor is like his mentor, the pastor forced him to marry me which he did out of fear for his mentor. But that was a big mistake. Because I found out that I was not the only girl he was messing with. He lived in a one room apartment and he used to bring girls to the room to sleep with them. Some of the girls are even from the choir. I got tired of reporting him cos its like the Pastor was aware. He thought by forcing him to marry me, the guy will stop misbehaving but that did not help. In fact, its like he got worse just to punish me for making the pastor force him to marry me.
The marriage was a marriage of suffering. Throughout the pregnancy, it was the pastor and his wife that were supporting us. My husband was working where they are not paying his 30k salary regularly. It was very hard for me. I was still working as sales girl where my aunty was paying me 15k. Things became even harder when I gave birth cos we now had a baby to care for. When our rent became due, we could not pay and we were eventually given quit notice.
After long thinking, I begged my relative and moved back to her place with my baby. My husband went to stay in his mentor’s place. He used to come and visit us in my relative’s place, just to see our baby. Last month, my husband came to see us and I was in the shop. The baby was crying and I asked him to take the baby to the house so I can concentrate at work.
I used to close shop around 7pm but because my husband was waiting for me at my relative house, I quickly left the shop around 5pm so I can see him for a while before it gets dark and he wants to leave. On getting to the house, I noticed my relative’s car outside. I went inside and found my baby sleeping on the chair in the parlor. There was no one sitting by her. I went to the room to check for my husband, he was not there.
It was clear my relative was around though cos her room was showing that she was inside. I thought she was making call but as I got closer to her door, I heard sounds of people f*cking. I thought she was with all those men she usually hang around with, so I went back to the parlor to pick my baby. As I picked her up, she woke up and started to cry…that made noise and my husband ran out of my relative’s room to pick her up.
So, clearly, my husband was the one f*cking my relative. He was not wearing anything except wrapper around his waist. When he saw me, he was shocked. I asked him why he was in my relative’s room, he said nothing but it was clear….as we were talking, my relative came out …they both tried to lie that he was helping her do something in her room but I told them that I heard them f*cking.
That was when this my shameless relative said its no big deal, that we are all adults…that my husband is a man and doing what men do….which is cheat…that I should get over it….that I know she is not the only woman doing my husband,. She just said, sorry…that I had to find out but its no one’s fault that I got pregnant for a man who is not ready for marriage and does not want to be married to me . I cried and cried. The disgrace, the disrespect. Humiliation. I have no where to go to….and I am married to the scum of the earth.
For the first time, I felt like taking my life but I thought about my child. Its because of my child that I have decided to take this decision to free myself. I want to take my child to the village and keep her with my parents. Then, I will start prostitution, to make money enough to get my own place and stand by myself. Since that time, my relative and husband has been f*cking once I step out of the house to the shop. Everyone knows about it now.
The stupid husband has graduated to f*cking women for money since he is so broke. He is even driving my madam’s car now. He said she employed him as personal assistant. He does not go to church anymore.
I want to move out of here but have no where to go…I cannot bear the shame anymore. Its better I use what I have to liberate myself and my child from this prison. I know prostitution is wrong but its a matter of life and death for me. If I don’t get out of here, I might commit suicide soon. Most of the girls around me that I see making it in this Lagos are into this prostitution around here in Lekki or Ajah…its the only way out from what I see. I know I am young and I will make it in less than 2 years if I work hard and save doing this.
I do not need advise not to go into prostitution, my life is worse than a prostitute now….who else will give me a job that can help me get my own place? I have no education that can get me a proper job…my child needs to survive….the pastor is tired of our problems. He said I should keep on praying. But I need to survive…the advise I need is, what other alternative do you think I have?
Please share your advise. I will be reading the comments.
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