True Life Story: I Went To Apologize To My Ex-Girlfriend But Ended Up Loosing My Erection
Hello Lively Stones,
I need your help. I think I have a spiritual problem after reading that man’s story about how he tried to break up with his girlfriend after sleeping with her but he failed.(Click here for that story). My problem started last December when I travelled to Edo state my home town for the celebration of my house completion and opening.
By the grace of God, I was able to finish the completion of my house project in my home town after Is started building it seven years ago. December was the grand opening but my wife could not travel with me because she travelled to the US for her mother’s 70th birthday celebration which her entire family was also attending from every part of the world.
So, it was me and my siblings that did the celebration back home. Everyone came and we were having a good time. My ex girlfriend texted me saying she heard I was in town, she congratulated me on the successful completion of the house project. I know she intentionally did that because she wanted me to feel bad. That is because, the land I built that house on, she supported me with 120k to buy the land about 11 years ago.
Then she was my girlfriend. The land cost about 650k and I had only like 450k. She gave me 120k and I raised the remaining from a loan. So, I really felt somehow that I was celebrating the house and we are not together. So, I called her, we chatted. I found out she too was in town for Christmas. She invited me to their house, I told her I would come later.
On getting to their house, she and her sister were the only one at home. Her parents had gone out or so. So, she sent her sister to go and buy some drinks and food for her to entertain me. I asked her not to worry but we can go somewhere to eat if she doesn’t mind. She dressed up and we went out.
My ex dressed up so s3xy that day, I couldn’t help but be looking at her. She is a single mother. We broke up after I met my wife eight years ago. She found out I was cheating on her and she broke up with me. By then, my wife was pregnant. So, I had to marry her. I am deeply sorry for hurting her but I have never really told her to her face I was sorry.
So me coming to see her was to tell her that. But seeing her now, brought back old memories. I realized I really hurt her cos she was very good to me then. She was a beauty then and still is. She told me she could not get over me and has never gotten over me even when she met her baby daddy. That was why her relationship never worked out with him and she said she had decided not to marry again.
She is doing well for herself, she has one kid and her business is thriving. We talked a while and drank a while. I was going to drop her off after our outing but I felt a strong desire to kiss her and I did…that kiss was my doom. We ended up in a motel that night and had s3x with her. She was so happy and asked to have a relationship with me again.
Then I told her I am married and cant cheat on my wife. She started crying, saying how I robbed her of her place in my life. That she was supposed to be my wife and mother of my children. That she built the house I have with me. That she saw a future with me. She was very emotional. I felt like a fool. I came to apologize but ended up making things worse.
Now, it looked like I slept with her and its even harder for her to move on since she says she does not want to marry any one again. She said she is happy to be my side chick. All she wants is my love, not marriage. I told her its not fair to my wife. She said its not fair to her cos my wife stole her place. I felt so confused because she was right in a way, it was supposed to be her I married but I f*cked up and married someone else.
All I kept doing was apologize to her but she said she will never forgive me if I still do not want her in my life. That if I cheated on her years ago, what is so special about cheating on my wife that stole her rightful place? When I reminded her that she was the one who broke up with me, she said she thought I would fight for her and come to beg her which I didn’t actually.
I was so sorry but its been many years, I am a changed man…I really do not believe in cheating in marriage. My wife is a wonderful woman. She does not deserve that. My ex and I parted ways in a very emotional way. I just could not promise her she would be my side chick. But my life has not been the same again since that day.
Getting back home to Lagos, I found out that I am unable to have an erection around my wife anymore. When we are cuddling and making out, I am very limp. I became very worried because this has never happened to me. The worse is, I now have s3x dreams of my ex. In those dreams, I am having passionate s3x with her. I actually wake up Cumming with actual sperm pouring out.
I went to the doctor thinking maybe I got an infection from sleeping with my ex. No, the results came clean, no infection. I was placed on some drugs to help my erection but nothing has worked. My wife is worried. She thinks I am under alot of stress and psychological issues.
I kid you not, I have not had an erection this year. I had no other option but to call my ex and ask her if she did anything to me spiritually. She denied it. I told her I see her in my dreams f*cking her and she says she also sees me in her dreams, making love to her. But hers has been like that for years, not just recently. That she feels its the love we share.
I begged her to forgive me cos I feel its because she said she will not forgive me that my manhood has refused to rise with my wife. Even though she denied saying she did nothing to me, I know Benin women, they can be fetish. After all the begging, she said she forgave me but I should stop deceiving myself that I should know by now that I am hers forever. That our love will never die. I even gave her some money, 2 million to appease her.
Still no erection. My wife is suspecting something is wrong but she she does not know. I really don’t know now. My doctor sent me to a specialist who thinks I am just under stress cos there is nothing wrong with me medically. If I masturbate, I get an erection but once I try to penetrate my wife, it goes down flat. I am really frustrated. Sometimes I feel like confessing to my wife but what good will that bring?
What else can I do? My wife and I are praying about this. I am just believing God to have mercy on me. I am afraid to talk to anyone about it. I had to confide in my elder brother. My elder brother believes in those traditional things. So, he went to so some traditional consultation. He said its my fault. That I am the cause of my issue, not my ex.
That my ex is my destiny but I wronged her spirit the first time by breaking her heart and the second time by sleeping with her and denying her again. That even though she has forgiven me, but the only way I will have erection with any woman again is if I claim my ex who is truly my destiny. My brother thinks I should marry my ex traditionally and my wife does not have to know. That way, my ex spirit can be appeased and I get my game back.
What my brother said is the only thing that makes sense but I am struggling seriously with that decision. Two wives? How do I manage even keeping my second marriage a secret? I wake up wanting my ex…with an erection so hard from dreaming about her…but soon as I touch my wife…I go down. This is my dilemma.
I regret having s3x with her last December. I know I kind of entered a serious problem after that s3x and I cannot explain it. Please advice me…what else can I do? Should I take my brother’s advice or just keep praying for my restoration from God. I even fear my wife may cheat on me if things continue like this. She is very frustrated. I feel helpless and I need advise please.
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