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True Life Story: In Love With My Cousin But Her Mom Says No Because We Are Not Destined To Be Together


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True Life Story: In Love With My Cousin But Her Mom Says No Because We Are Not Destined To Be Together

Dear Lively Stones,

Please hide my identity, I am confused and in need of counsel. I am a young man of 33 years. After almost 3 years after graduation with no job, my dad was able to connect me with a distant Uncle who is quite wealthy in Lagos. My uncle found me a job in Lagos. I moved to Lagos in February of this year. In May, my uncle’s second daughter came back from the US and because we are close in age, we became friends quite fast.

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Ezinne is  fun and bubbly…always wanting to make everyone happy. It was easy to bond with her, after work, she would come to my room to gist or drag me to the living room to gist and watch movies. She also used to like dropping or picking me up from work cos she had a car of her own. Ezinne and I also hung out with some of her rich friends sometimes.

Every time we went out, her friends will be all over Ezinne, asking her to hook them up with me. Ezinner used to tease me that I was a heart breaker cos I told her I was not ready for relationship cos I just started working and I needed to focus on building a career or something before I get involved with any lady. But I noticed that despite how much I denied it, I started having feelings for Ezinne.

Trust me I fought those thoughts or feelings for Ezinne…I did…but I think she also started feeling same way. I started noticing subtle flirting from her. The feelings began to affect even my sleep…I had wet dreams about her…but told myself…Ezinne was not an option. She is my benefactor’s daughter. Besides, she had a boyfriend, some rich guy’s son from our village…so, I tried to ignore how both of us were feeling.

Well, so far, I have succeeded to keep the feelings away but few weeks ago, I fell ill. I had to stay home after I was given medications. Ezinner was around me like a dotting nurse, taking care of me. One night, my fever was so high, everyone was worried….Ezinne began to cry. But thank God, I got better after a week or so. When I got better, Ezinne said she was so scared of loosing me. It was a vulnerable moment, we started kissing …it was like all the bottled emotions started coming up.

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We were able to stop before it went too far but since that day, things have not been the same. I have intentionally stayed away from Ezinne because we both want each other so much but I am scared. I know where I come from, I have nothing to offer her. But she said she does not care. I am also scared of her parents, what will they say? Remember we are distant cousins, we are supposed to be family.

Ezinne does not think any of my concerns matter, she said she would tell her parents about her feelings. Few days ago, her mom called me and said I should forget about his daughter, that she is not my destiny. Since that day, the mom has been acting aggressive to me. This morning, the mom came and asked me to leave their house by end of the week. I apologized and told her that I will not pursue any relationship with her daughter but she insisted I leave by weekend.

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I left home without waiting for Ezinne to drop me this morning. She has been calling my phone, am sure she wants to know what happened. That is why I am confused. I know Ezinne, she would go against her mother if possible…she has not told her dad cos he travelled. I am thinking of actually leaving their house but I have not saved enough money for my own accommodation.

What will I do…going home now is making me nervous….Ezinne is something else….rich kid…she does not fully understand….me, I can deny my feelings but she does not want to let me be…she believes she is an adult and no one can tell her what to do. I support that kind of thinking but I am simply not emotionally or financially ready…..I know I like her alot…I have feelings for her but the time is not right...and as a woman, I know she cant probably wait for me to be stable…should I just tell her I dont have feelings for her anymore…so she can forget about us?

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I am confused…her mother h@tes me now…and wants me out of their house. Please advise me.


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A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J


  1. Dear poster,you really need to be firm and take a wise decision at this point in your life….

    You weren’t working for three years until your father connected you with your rich uncle,thank God you got the job, instead of you to focus and make something meaningful from there, you’re talking about feelings in this critical time,abeg who feelings help?

    You better make money,no one wants to settle with a broke guy,Ezinne is just lusting after you,her eye go soon clear and moreover you both are distant cousins,don’t commit incest biko nna…..

    Leave rich kid alone and focus on how to make your future children rich kids too, concentrate on that job before you lose it,I don’t even know why Ezinne went ahead to tell her mum about her feelings for you, she’s a rich kid indeed, people like us don’t have that temerity to tell our parents that shit,who born you? Who raise you in Odumeje’s voice….

    Look for how to get an accommodation please,tell Ezinne not to tell her father that rubbish she told her mother…. It’s well with you,her mama know say you no get class that’s why she sent you away from their house and she also has been aggressive….. Look before you leap,be firm and focused!

  2. Dear poster

    God wants to save you

    Look for someone to squat with in Lagos

    If this relationship will work out…. Time will tell

    The girl’s parents will give approval

    Until then… Don’t so anything else you will be seen as someone who wants to eat their money by hooking up with their daughter

    Let them know you are not interested in their daughter cos of their wealth

    Leave that house now

  3. Hello dear poster, pls try and get someone at ur work place to stay with for sometime, abeg flee from any appearance of sin ooo. You people are related for one and with ur present situation they would think you are a gold digger, pls move out

  4. Ezinne thinks that marriage is a play thing. Let her go! All this love you both are feeling is because of the time you are spending together, Don’t take it too deep.. Tell her no and be firm with it, chase her away! If not it will also after your work as her parents can sack you.
    Look for somewhere to stay in the mean time.


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