True Life Story: Is A University Degree Compulsory For A Successful Marriage?
Hi Lively Stones,
Please help me with some advise. A few months ago, I posted on my estate WhatsApp group that I needed an electrician cos I was having some connection problem in the apartment I moved in. A guy private chatted me, saying he is an electrician and I asked him to come over on Saturday.
When he showed up, I was shocked to see a very tall and handsome guy at my door. I was like, are you the electrician, he said yes. I was even suspicious cos he looked too clean to be a low electrician. He could see my confusion, he smiled and said, he dropped out of school cos he got expelled for some bad behaviors while in school. I said….I see. When I asked him if he is thinking of going back to school, he said no, that he has lost interest in school, and age is not on his side.
This guy also said he has been doing business, he does contracts for electrical connections for new houses and so he feels school is over rated, he does not need the certificate to survive. He told me he has boys working for him, that he only attended to me by himself the first time because it was my first time patronizing his business. Truly, his business is fairly doing well. I admired his resolve and since that day, we became friends. Gradually, he started shooting his shot with me. He is kind and very caring. He ticks all the boxes in what I want in a man except the education part.
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I do not want to lead him on, I also do not want to seem like I am looking down on him for not being a graduate….so I have been acting like I am not interested but I am seriously interested in him. My father is a retired professor and he is a very proud man. I come from a family that puts pride in education, I am a master degree holder from UK university, same for my siblings. No way I can convince my dad that I am marrying a half educated man, if it gets to marriage talks. I do not get into dating if I do not see the relationship leading to marriage.
The issue is not that I cannot date or marry him if he is still going back to school but he said he has zero plans for school. He said he is a self made man…he does not need a certificate. And how do I marry someone who believes you do not need school to succeed…is this what he will tell our kids in future? He has been noticing my hesitation because when he tries to kiss me, I dodge him. He then did something big, that blew my mind.
Last weekend, he invited me for a weekend get away in one of the five star hotels on the Island….I wanted to say no but he said he was not taking no for an answer. So, I packed and went with him. That weekend was the most romantic thing any guy has done for me. I began to think maybe its not such a bad idea that he is not a graduate…I do not know if its because we made love (this is our first time) that my head has turned or maybe I am falling in love with him.
That was why I was avoiding getting intimate with him from the time he was shooting his shot….now, I am wondering whether the S** is clouding my change of heart or is he a good enough guy…Please…advise me…should I end it now before we go too far or do you think his educational status does not matter? Even if I manage to accept him, the people in my life will continue to look down on him and that may be difficult for us. How do I even begin to convince my father to accept him?
Anonymous
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Let’s not deceive ourselves,you can’t marry him.
Let him go,your class will come . Don’t contemplate anything,you know you can’t marry him.
Well, my advice towards marriage is “can you live with them?” Do you think there will be peace in your home if you marry such a person? That’s what’s important to me.
Material,
Looks or
Education is not that important compared to peace of mind.
Imagine finding a well educated man that beat women, treat women poorly, cheat, has no respect or regard for family e.t.c will you feel ok just because he is educated?
Thank you @Lovelyn, I really appreciate your candid points here.
Dear sister, truth be told, what you really need is self examination about your man from your own assessment. Do you think you can have future with him outside his education background/status?
Personally, I have seen female graduates marrying a Non-graduates and enjoys a peaceful, understanding, godly married life.
There’s one that’s close to me who had spent over 28 yrs together in blissful marriage
Where am really concerned is about your father….not even your siblings. Everyone has his/her to live and enjoy.
Sister, Commit your ways to God and He shall direct your path. If you are serious with God on this issue, He will make everything plain for you…..
Only if you are willing to surrender your life matter to God alone.
Peace
I think you should talk it through with him, it will be difficult for your family to accept him. Try and convince him but you have to talk to him now, don’t go too deep into this relationship before opening up, it may hurt you deeply.