True Life Story: My Boyfriend Called Me A Liar & Pretender After I Lost My Virginity
Dear Lively Stones,
I need your advise mama. I pray I am not being judged too harshly, its not easy for me. I was raised in a very strict religious home. I tried my best to keep myself holy and remain a virgin even up until I got to the university. In my third year at Uni, I met a young man in the same fellowship, he made his intention known to me and I told him, ok as long as he is ready to wait for marriage before s3x.
We dated for tow years successfully without any issues. However in my final year, I was having some difficulties with some of my courses and I was going to have an extra year if I didnt catch up. So, I started studying with some of my course mates at night in school prep. The smartest guy in our class was also part of this group. He took a liking to me and started pestering me, I told him I had a boyfriend and he relaxed a bit.
Unfortunately, one thing led to another, he had actually come to my room to teach me something I still couldnt get, I don’t know, maybe because I had spent so much time with him, I let myself go when kissing started. Before I knew it, we were having s3x. I admit I was very weak at that point. After the whole thing, guilt began to consume me. I cried and cried.
This guilt consumed me that I began to avoid my boyfriend. He noticed I was avoiding him and he cornered me one day. I had to confess to him what happened. I cried and begged his forgiveness but he was so upset that he broke up with me. He called me a pretender and said there is nothing between us if I can give my V to someone I just met when both of us have dated for two years.
Again, I admit…I do not know what happened…how I gave up this precious thing I have kept all my life. I was so sad. But you see, this course mate that disvirgined me, when he realized he was my first, he become so nice and caring and at that time, I needed someone to comfort me because I felt everyone was judging me, I began to have s3x with him regularly. I began to crave s3x. It was like a discovery, a powerful urge I could not control.
I was alone, I stopped going to fellowship cos I felt I was already being judged. The fellowship people started gossiping about me, so there was no point going anymore. I kuku continued enjoying this forbidden s3x until we graduated. After school, the relationship fell apart. I became single. During my service, my former boyfriend contacted me and started saying we should get back together.
This guy said he has finally been able to come to terms that someone else broke my V ….but he believes both of us are meant to be together so he has forgiven me and since it was only once, (he asked me the time it happened, how many times I had s3x with my course mate and I told him only once), that he can put it behind him and we can be together again. He said some nice things, he wanted us to get married immediately after our service year,etc. Even though all the things he was saying, I loved it, I was worried because what he does not know is that, it was not once I had s3x…and my mom likes him alot, she is pressuring me to accpet him back cos he is a God fearing man she thinks.
Like I said, after that first time, I started having s3x with the same guys for almost 5 months till we graduated. Although, it was a secret but going back to my ex, I feel like, he hurt me by breaking up with me, when I lost my virginity….that means, he was only in love with my V…not me. Now, he thinks I have only had s3x once…so what will happen when he finds out, its more than once?
That is why I need your advice….should I tell him ….that its not only once I have had s3x? And not just with that guy….during camp, I had s3x with someone….though it was just random…no serious commitment….or should I just keep mute? I love my ex still but I feel he is too judgmental. Maybe its for the best we stay broken up….I just need your advise…does he need to know my body count or the number of times I have had s3x?
Should I tell him that I am not so innocent anymore or should I move on?
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