True Life Story: My Brother In-law Is Jealous Of Our Relationship-Pls Advice
Hi Lively Stones,
I would like to remain anonymous. My name is Zoe (not real name). I am 26 years old. I am getting married to my boyfriend of 3 years next month but I am having serious cold feet and I need your help. My boyfriend and I have had a not so smooth relationship for almost 3 years. Well, no relationship is perfect right? We have our differences but we always manage to forge through it all somehow.
However, I think my boyfriend’s brother will mess it up for us if I do not do or say anything. I have always been cool with my boyfriend’s brother Ejike (not real name). They are one year apart in age. They have always had this sibling rivalry since birth. They argue and sometimes fight but its all brotherly love. Being his brother’s girlfriend meant I even became like someone who used to even settle their differences sometimes.
Ejike is cool with me, he calls me sis. We talk and vibe alot. But I feel sometimes he should respect his brother more cos even if its one year, his brother my boyfriend is still the older brother. When am advising Ejike, maybe the brothers have had a fight about something, Ejike will say things like: you are too good for my brother, he does not deserve you…you are a good woman….etc.
Even when me and my boyfriend, Emeka (not real name) have our issues, Ejike is my boo and confidant, I will tell him and of course he always supports me. Sometimes, my boyfriend jokingly says I and his brother are ganging up against him. This is how the family is. But something happened last December that has changed everything. I travelled with them to the East to spend December with their parents.
Christmas in the East is always lit. Parties, family, eating…alot of fun. Most nights, you will find some people drunk after hanging out or gisting into the night. One of those nights, I had a misunderstanding with Emeka…the misunderstanding was about him allowing one girl be too close for comfort. Clearly, this b*tch was flirting with my man and I told her to f*ck off….Emeka said I was being dramatic ….that the girl is a childhood friend…well…I did not like how she was all over my man….she was too thirsty and I let her know.
That argument put a strain between me and Emeka. One evening, we were all hanging out with the family Normally, even if I drink, I control my alcohol intake. I barely get drunk or tipsy. But cos I was upset, I drank quite a few. Ejike too was drinking. Most of the men were. Ejike left later to sleep in the room and I was with the others, still chilling. When I tried to get up later to go to my room…I stumbled… I was lit.
Ejike had to carry me. He carried me and instead of him to take me to Emeka’s room….he took me to his room. Its a very big house. Ejike was like….he has been seeing that me and his brother have a misunderstanding and he thinks his brother is not treating me right. I was like yes….and I started crying. I was emotional and drunk. Ejike started saying rubbish…that a girl like me should be with him..cos he will treat me better.
Oh my God….it was a very bad idea….Ejike was also tipsy but he was saying things that made me feel better and loved and appreciated….and before long… we were messing around with each other. He was passionately kissing me…till today…I know God was really on my side because everything happened with Ejike that day until he was about to enter me…as soon as he tried to penetrate…it was like….my senses returned. I suddenly caught myself and fought him off with all my strength.
I ran off from his room like a blind bat. I was shaking and went straight to our room. After that night, I avoided Ejike like a plague. He sent me messages apologizing, blaming it on the alcohol….agreed…we were both under the influence but Ejike true to his nature…just wanted to steal another thing from his brother like he likes to do. This guy is just jealous of his brother and its like any opportunity he has to go against his brother…he will take it.
Somehow, for the next couple of days…everything was cool. Until one day again…I think it was boxing day….it was a full house…everyone was in Christmas mood….cousins, friends…everyone was around…next thing…someone comes behind me and squeezes my bum…its Ejike. And since then, once anyone is not watching…he either squeezes my bum or breast or one time….he tried to put his fingers inside me.
God knows, if I tell Emeka…this will be the end of the brothers. It will cause a very big problem and maybe me and Emeka may break up….cos, how will a girl come in-between two siblings. They are just 2 of them ….I am sure their parents will not like it if I am the cause of the rift between the brothers. So I could not tell Emeka. Several times, I cautioned Ejike….I begged him to stop the foolishness…
Ejike told me not to marry his brother. He wants me to break up with the brother….and marry him maybe after a few years of breaking up with Emeka. I told him that will never work….he said he will keep trying. So, secretly, Ejike, my husband to be only brother has been s3xually harassing me at any opportunity he gets. Even when I threaten to tell his brother, he dares me to go ahead…saying he is ready for whatever consequence.
My God…Ejike is crazy and evil. I have done everything I can do….I am so afraid as my wedding is getting closer, Ejike is getting more desperate. One time, he pinned me to the wall….grinds on me….fingers me….I thought he was even going to r*pe me….but he stopped and said…I will not stop until you beg me to f*ck you. I sometimes get confused….I fantasize about Ejike and I having s3x….I am sorry but its the truth…its lust and its wrong I know but Ejike is very persuading and very s3xy.
I have dirty thoughts about him but that does not mean I want it to really happen. He is the one forcing me to have those thoughts when he says things like…if you were mine…I will make love to you everyday of your life forever. People around us think my closeness to Ejike is a good one cos I a like the peacemaker between him and his brother Emeka….just imagine how they will feel if they find out that Ejike has been trying to f*ck me. It will look very bad. They might even say I wanted it.
I am so scared of saying anything. I feel like the only way out is to break up with Emeka cos this is getting too much …but I love Emeka and 3 years is not a joke…will I just abandon my 3 years of hard work, investing into this relationship, only to loose it over a crazy brother in-law? I love this family and I want to be a member of the Ekembas (not real name). I love the big family community that they have…I want my children to come from this great big family.
Please tell me what to do…I am ready to talk to Emeka but Emeka can be very violent if angry…this could go very wrong .very quickly…he may not understand that I had nothing to do with this….sometimes, feel like maybe I should not even say anything and keep this a secret cos I know much as Ejike is crazy….he says he will not force me to have s3x with him until I tell him to…..apart from when he gets like this…Ejike is very nice to me….its just this obsession to take me from his brother….do you think I can convince him to give it up eventually? so why not play along until maybe he gets tired cos I will never ask him to f*ck me….God forbid…please advice…how do I get his brother off my back without loosing Emeka in the process?
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