True Life Story: My Cousin Wants To Have A Secret Wedding Next Week
Hello Lively Stones,
I have been scanning through the lively stones relationship blog for over an hour, looking for any story that is similar to mine for advise. Well, since I could not find a similar story, I decided to share mine so the blog and WhatsApp group can deliberate on my story and advice me. Actually, this story is for my cousin. My cousin is planning to marry a guy that she loves secretly next week.
My cousin and her guy were in a relationship for almost 2 years. They loved each other so much. The problem is, the guy’s father is from a different religion, a very committed figure in his religion. But the guy, lets call him Tobi is not really into his father’s religion like that so he did not bother about it. But as their relationship grew, Tobi told his parents about his intensions to marry my Cousin; Gina.
To Tobi’s shock, his father said over his dead body will his first son marry from outside their religion and culture. Tobi tried to convince his father for almost six months but the man refused. Eventually., Tobi had to break up with Gina. Tobi’s father was afraid that Tobi might go against his will, decided to marry a young girl for Tobi. Their culture allows the father to marry a wife for his son.
So, the wife was brought to Tobi and Tobi had no choice but to accept the wife that his father married for him. My cousin Gina was heartbroken but after a while, she met James and after dating for seven months, decided to get married. Tobi heard of Gina’s engagement and called Gina to discourage her. Tobi is telling my cousin that he still loves her and he wants her to be in his live forever.
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However, Gina refused saying she cannot stop her wedding cos she will not remain single when Tobi has moved on. Everyday leading to her wedding, Tobi kept calling Gina…she had to block him. He started sending her messages with different sim cards, begging her to let him see her one last time before she marries James. I don’t know why but my cousin finally bowed to the pressure and she went to see Tobi two days before her wedding.
Unknown to Gina, her husband to be installed a tracker on her phone. He tracked Gina to the hotel where Gina met with Tobi. The husband to be got so mad that he called off the marriage. Gina was so embarrassed….her family, everyone was angry with Gina for being so stupid. It was too much for Gina that she almost took her life. Tobi managed to advantage of Gina’s vulnerability, he asked her to marry him in secret next week.
So, Tobi wants Gina to be his wife but his family, especially his father will not be aware. Gina has agreed…she came to tell me cos I am her closest friend and relative. She wants me to swear not to tell anyone. She wants to marry someone who’s religion is different from hers and she is willing to keep her marriage a secret just because she loves him that much. My cousin wants only me to be the family witness at the wedding and I am frightened cos I do not think my cousin is doing the right thing but she made me swear not to tell any member of our family.
Tobi and Gina say there are adults and old enough to take decisions for themselves. And since Gina’s family is saying no one will marry her cos of the embarrassment of getting dumped on her wedding day, Tobi feels he has to marry her to save her from the shame and of course, he loves her. Please, if you are in my shoes, what will you do? I understand that they both love each other but if the parents are against this marriage…why try to act like Romeo and Juliet, I fear one of them may end like them… I need your advice please.
Anonymous,
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For me, time alone explains love. But I can not see any light at the end of the tunnel for your cousin, because if Tobi loved her that much he would not bow easily to the pressure of his father only to comeback when he heard she was about to get married. For me that is jealousy and not love. And for your cousin, she should be aware that she is going into polygamy with her eye wide open.
Tell Gina not to marry Tobi,let her keep herself busy with other things.
Do not attend the secret wedding
Let’s Gina know not to complicate the rest of her life. Can she think clearly for a bit, she will have children, will she keep hiding them ? If Tobi’s father finds out, a man that went the extra mile to marry a wife for his son, will he attempt to harm her?
Who says someone else won’t marry her, that’s a lie. Let her forget about Tobi, do what she enjoys doing, laugh and love will find her.
You really should let her Mum know to sound reasoning into her ears before the wedding day and don’t attend.
The Son had a chance not to consummate the marriage with the arranged wife but he did.
God says a city set on a hill cannot be hid, let your light shine not play hide and seek throughout your life.
Gina forget about the mistakes of yesterday, it’s a new dawn.
All the best
If she marries Tobi in secret, it will end up in premium tears in public…