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True Life Story: My Fiancé Just Gave Me The Most Shocking Revelation-Pls Advise

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True Life Story: My Fiancé Just Gave Me The Most Shocking Revelation-Pls Advise

Dear Lively Stones,

I want to remain anonymous. This is like a huge decision for me and I need prayers and advice. My name is Beauty (not real name). I am 32 years old. I have been in a couple of relationships but I have been very unlucky. I am someone who has had dreams of my future husband and home for a long time, that is why I never allowed to settle for just any man.

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Yes, the men are there but somehow, its usually men who are not faithful or men who are controlling or men who want S** but do not want to settle down in marriage. I promised myself after the last relationship which lasted for three and a half years to make sure, only a man who is my husband, that I will date next time. I entered into seven days fasting and prayers for that.

Then, in November last year, I met Jacob (not real name). Jacob is a twin. I met him at his twin brother’s wedding. He was the groomsman and it was a wedding to one of my childhood friends. When I found out there were twins, I asked my childhood friend if the other twin (Jacob) was single…she smiled and said yes but that the guy is very shy. That they have been teasing him that no girl has ever visited him.

That was when I asked my friend if he is a good guy and she said, he is perfect, very responsible, has a good job and keeps indoors unlike his twin whom she married…that one is an extrovert and the life of the party. I asked my friend to introduce us and she did. I truly found out he was very reserved. I almost backed out cos I seemed to be the one doing all the talking but we exchanged numbers and chatted for a few days before I told him that I like him but if he is not taking initiative to shoot his shot, then I am out.

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Jacob then told me he likes me too but he feels he is not good enough for me. I was like, how did you come to that conclusion, he was like, girls usually leave him when they come to know him and he has decided that until the one God has for him shows up, he will remain relaxed. I told him that was my prayer too, that I do not want to date just for dating, I want the next man I date to be my husband. He was like great,lets see where this goes then.

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So after then we started dating. Oh Jacob is a sweet guy. The nicest. The kindest. Always taking care of me, buying me stuff…shopping for me, cooking for me, even picking me and dropping me off work. Everyone, especially my mom fell in love with him. My mom said she received prophesy that Jacob is my husband but I should be weary of challenges ahead in the relationship, that I must never allow those challenges distract me.

Jacob and I dated for three months before intimacy. I was completely blown away when we had S**. I mean, without saying too much, I have never met a guy who is both nice, domestic, romantic and is fantastic in bed. In my head, I kept wondering why he was never successful in relationships before now. Why did the girls not like him after knowing him.

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We were moving very steadily in our relationship. I was on cloud nine. I could not wait for Jacob to propose because I knew I was going to say yes. It was my birthday in July and Jacob threw me a surprise birthday party at Oriental hotel. He really went all out to make me happy. But secretly, I wondered why he did not propose , I thought maybe because he thought we haven’t dated up to a year but I had been dropping hints to him that I wanted to be engaged before my next birthday.

So, I could not help but call him for a meeting and asked him directly why he did not propose. When he was doing all that sneaky birthday surprise, I really thought it was a proposal he was planning. I told him I understand if he wants to wait a bit longer but that I love him so much and I feel like we are already married, just waiting to make it legal.

It was then that Jacob held my hands and said, he wanted us to get to know each other very well, to feel comfortable very well before telling me something. Jacob went to tell me that when he was a teenager, he was very sick and developed hernia. That he had to undergo a surgery and the surgery went bad. It ended up costing him one of his testicles. And that means, he will never be able to father a child. He is impotent!

Jesus…I blacked out when he said that …I was like, please explain to me…what are you saying? Why are you saying this. I asked him if he is sure and he started crying  and I started crying. Like what the f*ck is this? How on earth is such a good man befallen with such a bad fortune. It was the hardest day of my life. Jacob was like the condition does not affect his ability to have S** but he cannot produce sperm to make babies.

Jacob said he knows even though he cannot produce children, but he knows he will have children. His twin brother has agreed that if he finds a woman who will marry him with his condition, he can provide sperm for IVF or sleep with the woman if she agrees. The only condition is that, no one, not even his twin’s wife will know about this.

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So, that is what Jacob told me, that if I agree to the terms above, then he is more than happy to get married today if I want. I love Jacob….my mother’s pastor said he is my husband but not having his children, but his twin brother’s children either by IVF or having S** with the brother is not something I bargained for. I told him to give me time to think about it. I have not stopped crying since that day.

I believe in God that he can do a miracle, so should I marry Jacob even with this condition? I appreciate him so much for telling me the truth before marriage. Now, the ball is in my court? Can I bear the knowledge that its only with the use of his brother’s sperm that I can have a child? What if the brother wants to sleep with me? What if the wife finds out? What if, having the twin’s children cause trouble of paternity in future.

I need your prayers and advise please. What should I do?

Anonymous.

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Jzhane
Jzhane
A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J

6 COMMENTS

  1. I love your faith,there is nothing God cannot do,what God cannot do does not exist.

    He is a great guy, marry him,pray and see what God will do,don’t bother about all the ifs in the world,what if? what if? Just believe in what God can do, your marriage with him is blessed,amen. Please stop crying,what if he didn’t tell you? Chaiii ,this guy is so good,don’t loose him oooo,please.

  2. If you truly love him and you have peace in your mind, then marry him. He has been honest with you all this while, take a leap of faith. You can decide to adopt or if you agree his brother can be a sperm donor but don’t sleep with his twin brother.

  3. Consider your happiness, follow your heart and condition your heart to see reasons to marry him. Don’t sleep with the brother rather adapt or he can donate sperm for you. Also be prayerful there is still water in the wilderness. Good luck on ur decision.

  4. I must commend the guy’s effort, he’s really nice…if you feel you can cope with that and won’t use it against him in the nearest future when there’s little argument, you can go ahead and get married to him, you can opt for adoption or IVF but I will advice you not to use his brother as a donor, so you don’t hurt your friend,…. A nice and sincere being is hard to come by in these present days, think it through thoroughly, it is well with both of you, peace dear….

  5. If you truly love him as you say then follow your heart but I will not advice you to use his brother’s sperm or sleep with his twin brother because since he’ll always see those kids, he may be tempted to claim them one day, u can do ivf without his twin sperm.
    All d best.

  6. If both of you are solid believers and you are both willing to have the patience to trust and have faith in God, then it’s never too late to start praying concerning this.

    Try to google search it, a man with one egg can still cause pregnancy in a woman. So if he hadn’t lost both eggs, he still has the chance to impregnate you. So if you belief in God, put that faith into prayer and your own baby will come eventually but if both of you can’t walk that way of faith patiently no matter how long it takes, then I guess adoption and IVF is the best way for you.

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