HomeAdviceTrue Life Story: My Fiancée Deceived Me For Almost One Year

True Life Story: My Fiancée Deceived Me For Almost One Year

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True Life Story: My Fiancée Deceived Me For Almost One Year

Hello Lively Stones,

My name is Seun (not real name). I am 31 years old, I have a good job and doing well for myself. My goal was to be married by age 30 but all the relationships I tried did not work out. While I must say I am not looking for perfection in a lady to be my wife, I also am just looking for basic decency and honesty and loyalty…which seems to be scarse with ladies of today.

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So, I met Juliet (not real name) early last year. Very pretty, smart and well behaved. What really hot me when O met her was, she seemed to know what she wanted: she said she will not date anyone that will not lead to marriage. And so, she said, no s3x until wedding night. I was like, wow….such a decent girl. Let me not lie, I have never dated anyone that said no s3x before….so it was very hard for me to be with Juliet.

As soon as ladies saw I had a serious girlfriend, they started flocking around me. The temptation was huge. Omo…how do I refuse s3x from women willing to give me in a platter of gold while my own is starving me till wedding night? The women came from left, right and centre…but because I loved Juliet so much….I kept myself…omo…konji finish me. I had a great time with Juliet…she allowed me play with her small…kissing and touching but no happy ending if you know what I mean.

The funny thing is….Juliet sef is not even a virgin but she said she was done playing with men who are not going to commit to her in the end. Me, I wanted to prove that I can commit…I just need her to be a good wifey and future life partner. Juliet was my gist partner, prayer warrior…good cook…friendly…my family and friends loved her…she was everything.

So, naturally, after eight months…I was excited to propose. On her birthday in November, I proposed in a big way, in the most romantic way I know. We were so happy…things were going as planned. I wanted to do our marriage introductions over the Christmas holidays, so we can look at an Easter wedding. I mean…God knows I cannot wait anymore….what am I waiting for…I have found my missing rib na.

The we travelled on the 15th of December to see her people. Introductions went very well. I spent money and dazzled her people. When were given all the traditional marriage list and all. To come for an April traditional wedding and white wedding here in Lagos. So, we returned back to Lagos. My babe stayed back to spend Christmas with her people. She was to come back on 26th which she did. She came to my place to cook and spend time with me…

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From our normal kissing and playing…things became heated and this time, both of us could not hold it anymore. I think Juliet felt more comfortable to make love cos our marriage plans were now solid…my goodness…I was like a wild animal that was denied food for months…I was super excited and was giving the love of my life the deepest pleasure experience….

All of a sudden….I noticed she was shaking….Juliet started shaking and gasping for air….I thought she was climaxing or having an orgasm…for where….the babe was choking and looking she was about to die…hey…I panicked…started calling her…I cant describe everything I did but all I know was, she passed out and I became mad scared….I shouted and called for help…and with my neighbor, we rushed her to the hospital.

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On getting to the hospital, she was rushed to emergency and placed on oxygen immediately….the first thing the doctor asked me was : is she asthmatic? I said no. They ran several tests and she began to respond like 2 and half hours later. Omo…I prayed like eh…I called her mother in the process and when I told her that the doctor asked if Juliet was asthmatic…the mother said yes she is.

ALSO READ: My Fiancé & His Family Deceived Me For Months -How I Discovered The Devastating Truth

I was shocked. Like…I have dated and engaged this babe for almost a year and she never mentioned she is asthmatic….and she almost passed out making love to me. I was scared and upset. Long story short….Juliet was revived and discharged 2 days later. She had suffered an asthma attack during s3x with me. At that point, I was so upset that she never told me about her condition…she confessed to actually keeping it away from me cos she feared I would not marry her cos of that.

Many guys had broken up with her cos of her condition. That is why she never carries her inhaler cos the stigma of guys finding out she is asthmatic. I was mad with her. Told her I was disappointed…cos asthma is not a joke. Its dangerous and hereditary according to the doctors. That means, there are chances our future children will have asthma. Juliet begged and begged and apologized. I told her to give me time to think about it.

Somehow in my heart….the anger I felt made me remember how girls were never honest with me, and my reaction was: Juliet is not different and as such…I cannot go on with the marriage. I told my family….they tried to encourage me to forgive her cos they like Juliet but they too were afraid of what a future with Juliet will mean. Juliet’s family too tried to persuade me but I was very hurt.

I told everyone I needed time to think….I will make my decision in the new year. All manner of negative thoughts came through me. Maybe that is why this girl with held s3x from me. So, what will happen next time we have s3x? The doctor said Juliet should not be involved in any strenuous activity that can cause labored breathing…but that if her inhaler is close by, she will be fine.

I really felt deceived and betrayed and hurt. So, I cut off Juliet…I told her…we will see in January. And then, on the 30th of December….one of the vulture girls stalking me in my DM sent me a nude picture….said she wanted to f*ck…I didn’t even think twice…I sent her location and went to meet her. It was like…I was so angry that Juliet denied me s3x for months just to deceive me with her condition. After sleeping with this chick, I sent Juliet a message that its best for both of us to break up.

Juliet replied and said if that will make me happy…then so be it. She has informed everyone that we broke up. I know she was sad but I was angry…even angrier that she stopped begging me…she just said ok to the break up. what is that…is that not pride? maybe she thinks she is not wrong…or maybe she feels sad that I dont want her cos of her asthma….but she was the one who lied and almost died in my house.

What if she died that day…what will I say? And what about my future children being asthmatic? I do not want to sound like a bad guy but I feel very hurt. I miss Juliet…I have been shagging different girls throughout this January but all I feel is emptiness…I miss my Juliet…but how do I even make up with her? I know she wont take kindly that I have been sleeping with other girls since we broke up and I also do not feel like forgiving her for deceiving me….yet…it feels like I cant breathe without her.

Please advice me…what should I do? I miss her so much…I miss talking to her but fear and anger wont let me…I feel hurt still…will she even take me back if she knows I been in the streets or should I keep that a secret? If I go back to her…after dumping her and disgracing her by cancelling her wedding plans…will she take me back? And how will I stop being angry with her for not telling me about the asthma?

Most importantly…how do I accept that my children maybe asthmatic in future?

Anonymous

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Jzhane
Jzhane
A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J

8 COMMENTS

  1. Dear poster,you haven’t made up your mind to break up with Juliet,if you are, you wouldn’t be considering going back to her.

    Stop sleeping with other girls,be wise and careful before you go give person pikin belle all in the name that Juliet deceived you.

    Don’t marry Juliet,get someone else if you really want to be happy in your marriage. The fear of making love to her because of her condition,your future children’s health is also at stake.

    Choose wisely…….. It is well with you

  2. Dear poster, Ashtma is not a disease. My parent doesn’t have it but I do have it. She was scared of losing you. As long as the inhaler is available all is well. You both just need to figure out how to go about sex without it triggering the ashtma. Everything has a solution. Try to forgive her. T. Your children might not have it. Maybe it’s the excitement of almost a year without sex that caused the stress on her. You can go gentle on her

  3. My sister has asthma. Actually my cousin. She always has her inhaler with her. When she got pregnant she was ill but she didn’t go to hospital to get checked. She thought it was a normal type of feeling while pregnant being a first time mom. She was about 6 or 7 months gone. So one day the water broke and she was induced to have her son at 7 months. He was in the new born unit for about a month but he pulled through. I wish you’d see how tiny he was. I mean,no one knew he’d make it.He’s now 3 years and very strong. We didn’t think he’d be this healthy. Compared to my two year old daughter who’s still giving me headache at feeding. Anyway,moral of the story is, asthma is manageable. I wish you’d made efforts to try visit hospitals to understand how best to contain this illness going forward. Instead of jumping from one vjay to another. Even if you swallow your pride to reach out to her, by now she may have painted a certain picture of you. For one, when they say for better for worse, you’re one not to relate with it and she’s likely to turn you down for abandoning her at her lowest. All the best anyway

  4. Dear poster, I understand your girl lied to you, which is wrong, I want you to understand this, she was scared of loosing you, cos most guys break up with her when they find out about her illness, now u are on that same path, I will advice you forgive her, also it can be managed, since she’s all you want in a woman, please do away with your pride and reach out to her…….you can check her family history to see if it was herited,…your unborn kids will be fine, bro apologize to her and make things work,…peace bro…

  5. Oga Poster is it because of Asthma that you broke up with your girl? In this century when you have access to so many information? You’re not serious!
    I see a very immature, emotionally insensitive person in you, sorry to say.
    Yes, she didn’t tell you because she had been dumped by ignorant guys like you before but Asthma is not a death sentence. She should see a Pulmonologist for evaluation and control of her Asthma. She’ll be very fine.
    I have Asthmatic friends and have people around.e have good Asthma control. So Oga, you messed up! You e hurt your girl by doing what other guys have done to her. If you were the one I’m sure you’d have wanted her to be understanding with you.
    I see this as a test of your love for her which you failed and easily ran the easy way out by going into the streets.
    Search your heart to know if you really love this girl through thick and thin before you allow her commit to you when you’re probably more into her because of s*x.

  6. She is better off single than having a guy like you. Back off please. We don’t pray, but what if you find out you have a low sperm count, would you be so comfortable to share that with her as well? You backed off from a woman you claim you love because she is asthmatic. My parents are not asthmatic but my kid sis is.

  7. Dear Poster,
    Laying aside all emotions that comes with; she didn’t tell you about her asthmatic condition before now, what if she had died that day in your house; whether it’s an inherited health conditions, fear of your children might probably inherited it and countless other reasons that might be bothering you sir, I just have this to say:

    Love, (not Lusts or infatuation) is a deep emotional thing. I think you love Juliet for real, but you were disappointed that she didn’t inform you about her health conditions before now.

    Juliet also loved you but doesn’t want to hurt or lose you because she had previously been broken in heart because of the health issue.

    SUMMARY

    Both of you can reconcile and forge ahead in your beautiful relationship. There’s no health conditions that cannot be medically managed.
    Our Creator and God is even a great healer. There is No Health hazards or situations impossible for Him to heal completely.

    Trust God for Juliet, swallow your ego, make up with her, get healed and get married. Enjoy life with the woman you love.

    This is my own opinion

    Peace #

  8. Juliet was wrong but her feelings are real.

    Forgive her and don’t hold it against her.

    You acted too quick. Swallow your pride and go for your woman. Seek medical help if you wish to proceed. Trust God for healing. Sometimes, not your kids but grandkids that inherits it. But heals completely.

    Her attitude is to save her yet another deep hurt. She is hurting.

    If you can’t proceed, I understand. It’s fine but don’t go giving her hope.

    Thank you.

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