True Life Story: My Girlfriend Has Changed Since I Asked Her To Marry Me
Hello Lively Stones,
My girlfriend is a member of this platform so please hide my identity. I met her two years ago. I was having some challenges with my business and was not ready for a commitment but she seemed like someone who was not all about material things. She was the one who even showed me how you used to counsel couples and I felt she is someone very wise and reasonable.
We started dating and I always made her understand my situation and she gave me this impression that she will not put any pressure on me. I can even say, she spends more in this our relationship. She shops for me and initiates some romantic gestures. That is why I fell in love with her. I felt she is not like every other average girl looking for a man to spend on them.
Towards end of last year, I knew it was time to make her know my intentions. Yes, things have improved in my business but I will also say that I have to be careful cos I took a huge loan to get my business back on track, so its not like I am now financially free. I have huge debts. But because I love my girl and I know being with a guy for like almost 2 years, I want her to know that I would like to marry her.
In December, I asked her to marry me. It was not like a big proposal. We were in my place, I woke her up in the middle of the night. I told her how much I loved her and how much she meant in my life. And that I wanted to spend my entire with her. It was an emotional moment, she said yes. And I was so happy. I felt she should now be very confident and relax knowing my intentions.
However, after a month or so…I started noticing some attitudes from my girl. One day, she asked me when am I going to propose to her officially? That I did not even give her an engagement ring. When am I coming to see her parents. I was like, saying….I have already proposed na….she said no o. That I have to do it properly. Like I should plan a surprise proposal with maybe her friends and family. That she accepted to marry me but I should not do it like she is some cheap girl.
To me, this girl knows me…she knows I am sincere. I really do not believe in spending so much in things like huge surprise proposal. I told her I would see her people when we are ready to marry…that she should give me some time but as for proposal, its not necessary cos I do not like showing off and spending money that I do not have.
All these did not go down well with her. I noticed she started being unnecessarily difficult and short fused. She would snap at me at any slightest provocation. I had to tell her that I do not like her new behavior ….because if she is going to behave like this, then maybe she is pretending and not really my type of woman, a prudent and understanding woman.
My girl said she has tried to ‘manage’ with me and she is feeling that I am taking advantage of her patience. She said that this may be a red flag in our relationship. That if I cannot treat her like a queen, that maybe when we marry and even get richer, I will not appreciate her. I told her that is not true and that she is being fussy for no reason. Since then, our relationship has been having problems.
I observed that if I don’t call her….she does not call me. I asked her why….she said she wants me to prove I really want this relationship. That she realized she gave herself too easily to me and that she wants me to work for her love, that I should prove that she is worth it….by making some serious commitments…that its the man that should always call and spend on the woman…so now, she will no longer give herself so easily to me.
Ma, I am confused and scared. Scared because my girl is now exhibiting the very behavior I do not like. Confused because I am wondering if this is just about me refusing to do a proposal for her…all of a sudden, she has become a feminist and I fear this may be her true self. I love her and I cannot relate her new behavior to the same nice, polite and understanding girl I have been with for almost 2 years.
Yesterday, I asked her to come over this weekend so we can spend some time together. That I do not want to argue, I just want us to spend time alone….to my surprise…she said no …that she will no longer have S** with me until marriage. That she will no longer give herself so cheap until I prove that she is worth it.
What even pained me was that I actually wanted to give her a ring to wear on her finger, at least to show how serious I am. I showed her the ring and asked her to come over. She got upset with me after seeing the ring on WhatsApp. She said I am not romantic…that how can I show her a ring I want to give her … that I am trying to lure her to come to my house just to give her a cheap ring. That the ring is so cheap looking.
Now, where is all of these coming from? What am I missing? She knows I am not the romantic type…I only showed her the ring cos I was excited and I thought she would be excited too. I had to tell her lets take it to Lively Stones…cos its like her mind has been turned against this relationship. I want us to hear what others and Mama Jzhane will say.
As for me I don’t understand anymore. I love my girl to death but I cannot deal with this her attitude over her sudden expectations of me. My love for her and reassurance has never changed…why has she over night started making unnecessary demands?
Must I do proposal to spend money? Must I see her parents now…why cant it be when I am ready both financially and mentally? Is there something or someone else trying to distract her or poison her mind against me…is there another guy? Is this truly a red flag? Please advise us cos this whole situation, I do not understand it anymore….I still love my girl…what do I do? Please advise her as well….I am a good guy and I just want her to be the way she used to be before the time I asked her to marry me.
Please post immediately…I really need urgent advise…this matter is really disturbing me.
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