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True Life Story: My Husband Has Lost Interest In Me After Two Years Of Marriage

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True Life Story: My Husband Has Lost Interest In Me After Two Years Of Marriage

Hi Lively Stones,

I want to remain anonymous. I am 43 years old, the first child in a family of 6. I am single and have been single for so many years. All my siblings except the last born are married. Everyone has almost given up that I will never get married. The men that have been coming for me, are not serious. They want s3x but most are married or in a relationship.

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I made up my mind to either adopt a child or use a surrogate to carry my child because I do not want to die lonely. But somehow, because of my job, I have been very busy of late, so I abandoned the idea for a while. Four years ago, my friend who became single after a divorce opened a big beauty and SPA centre. She offered me a job as the General Manager of the place.

Managing the place was hectic because it required my time from Monday to Sunday. But the pay was good. One of the things I experienced was that the SPA had some VIP members that paid heavily for the services of a masseuse. Some of our special hands used to attend to such customers. There you had high profile clients like celebrities, politicians, etc. One of such services also comes with what is called ‘HAPPY ENDING’. This request is usually arranged with call girls who offer s3x services for the client.

I discovered my friend would organize such services which were top secrets. I just minded my business and focused on my job. The Cub also organized private massage sessions for such clients in their home. Such s3x services can also apply to such arrangements. That was why the business was booming. VIP clients paid heavy for their massage and entertainment.

As business went on, some of these VIP clients would hit on me. I can give a massage but never happy hour. I know they wanted me because of my backside. I never give them that opportunity. This made the clients treat me with respect. Some of them even became my friends. One in particular, a well to do middle age man, even did some business deals together. As friends, he would ask me why am I single and I told him cos I have not found the right man.

From our discussions, I told him of my plans to adopt or have a surrogate, he then asked why not have the child by myself. Long story short, he said he could help me get a child if I sleep with him. I knew he probably wanted to use that as an excuse to sleep with me but I told him I don’t sleep with married men. He told me, his religion permits him four wives and he already has three wives. He is a Chief. So, he can marry me as his fourth wife, so I can have a child. He said after having children, if I am not happy in the marriage, I can file for a divorce.

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This idea seemed good to me. I mean, at my age, an arranged marriage so I can have kids did not sound like a bad idea. I told him to give me some time to think about it. I shared with my family. Some are against the idea of me being a fourth wife, some are ok with it. My dad gave me his blessings if this is what I want. So, I agreed and told the Alhaji. I also told my friend that is my boss.

Soon as I told my boss, she was totally against it. I did not know why…but she told me that if I continue, I will not work with the company anymore cos, employees who are married or in a relationship with clients is not allowed in the business. When I told Alhaji, he did not mind, he said money is not an issue, that my boss is jealous of me. I did not understand what he meant that time. So, we got married two and a half years ago. It was after the marriage, I found out that my boss was also one of my husband’s mistresses.

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As his mistress, she has been trying to get him to marry her but he is not interested in marrying her, because she sleeps with other VIP clients…so he only sleeps with her. And since I married my husband, I found out the kind of things she does with him. They even have threesomes or foursomes with others girls too. I minded my business. I did not mind since, I know the marriage is not about love but an arrangement. I did not even meet his other wives. Everyone stays in their own house in different parts of the town.

My problem is that this my former boss started telling lies about me to my husband, that I have slept with so many men. And that I have had so many abortions, that is why I have not conceived since we got married.  I am over 40 years, getting pregnant at my age is not going to be easy…I have never had any abortions in my life. I also have bad dreams about this my former boss. I observed that for weeks, my husband hardly touches me in bed. He even hardly comes to my apartment. He gives excuse of being busy. I know he is with my former boss or other wives.

When I remind him of my ovulation period, he says he has been making love to me for almost three years, and yet I am not pregnant…that I am too old to get pregnant, that I should leave him alone. That when he has time, he will come. When we first met, he did not mind my age…now all because of jealousy from my former boss, who is supposed to be my friend, who is supposed to be happy for me, she has poisoned his mind and he hardly touches me anymore.

Sometimes I think God does not want me to have children biologically. Maybe God is not even happy with me for marrying into a polygamous marriage. I sometimes think I should quit the marriage pursue adoption which was my initial plan. Meanwhile, this my former boss will be pretending in front of me, that she cares, she will be saying that I should try to sleep with a young man to get pregnant, cos my husband may be the problem, he is 61 years old. Maybe he cant make me pregnant. She said she thinks some of his older wives did the same thing. I feel like I am in a prison.

This woman even said I should remember that this is my last chance, that if I do not get pregnant, the Chief may send me away. That its better I help myself very fast before its too late…hmmm…I suspect she may want to set me up but that idea that even Chief may be too old has crossed my mind His last child is 5 years old. I am confused, did he not father that child? I don’t know what to do. I feel so sad. Please advise me.

Anonymous

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Jzhane
Jzhane
A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J

2 COMMENTS

  1. Please leave the marriage madam,he was never your husband,stop saying your husband has lost interest in you. He had three wives and plenty girlfriends including your friend before you.

    Forget about your friend,she doesn’t want to see you happy,she is a bad belle,you need to leave Alhaji for your own good and sanity.

    You can still marry,age is just a number my love,stop thinking that you are old,always look yourself in the mirror and say,I’m beautiful,I’m young physically,I’m young at heart,I’m bold and smart,dress well,look good,use good perfume and pray my sister.

    Don’t allow anyone pressurize you into any unhealthy relationship biko,don’t allow it. You can adopt a child if you want,there are some girls who just give birth out of wedlock and don’t have the means to train the child,you can get one through some groups on Facebook.

    God bless you,please don’t forget to pray,don’t cry,all will be well.

  2. A story similar to yours has been trending on Facebook on Ma ngozis’ page. Worse off,it happened that the jealous friend had used juju to tie her womb so that she won’t take in. All this was discovered after thw jealous friend convinced her to sleep with the driver since it seemed the husband couldn’t get her pregnant. The husband was away for about two years.she is still the same person who told the husband that his way was cheating. In short, you better ask for divorce and start your life afresh elsewhere. You can relocate to abroad. I feel you rushed into this marriage and you’re pressurizing yourself for nothing. God’s time is always the best, anything contrary to that most times doesn’t end well.

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