True Life Story: My Husband Is Lazy & Likes Keeping Malice-Pls Advice
Editor’s note: This story is coming from a place of a hurt person, please be kind in your words and advice.
Good Afternoon Lively Stones,
Is it possible to fall out of love with one’s spouse? I think it has happened to me. I feel angry at myself for the poor decision in choosing him and not listening to my mum when she told me not to marry him. Where do I even start from?
How can one be married to a Man for eight years and he cannot even provide, protect not be a priest in his own home. He has no money yet he’s very quarrelsome, keeping malice up and down.
Despite all my efforts to assist him so that he can start contributing financially nothing good has come out of any of them because he will run everything down, when one is trying to correct him he won’t take until he finally runs it down. I’m exhausted. Go and get a job he cannot even write a CV. So many sacrifices I’ve made. Now he has started the habit of stealing my money and telling lies.
I’m at my sister’s place for Omugwo and I see the way her husband is in control of the home and his family and I’m so envious. I’ve tried to express myself to my husband some things that he’s doing that I can’t stand but he ends up talking back at me or just ignoring what I’ve said.
So, I’m 100% responsible for taking care of myself, my new born son and my home plus incapacitated husband yet he stresses me, he’s not grateful and he’s so quarrelsome, keeping malice up and down. He’s home now while I’m in another state with my sister for Omugwo and he’s begging me to give him money to buy fuel. I’m ignoring him.
So if he cannot provide, he’s not grateful when I fit into his shoes hoping he’ll sit up soon, should I still have to put up with his pride, quarrelsome attitude and malice? All the business he’s been trying to put up are nothing to write about and we are more in debts.
We are two months behind on rent and the Landlady has been threatening to report him to the Police. My usual self would have sent money to pay the rent like I’ve been doing for the past six years we’ve lived in the house but I refused to budge.
I’m just wondering how I got myself in this situation because I’ve been feeling like I’m the only one struggling to make this marriage work and keep the home and I’m on my own when I need emotional, financial and spiritual support or otherwise.
This is all I can pen down for now to express how I feel even though it’s more than this.
I’m supposed to be through with Omugwo now and return home but I’m not enthusiastic about going back, even thinking about him is disgusting me. He cannot manage a business, he doesn’t still want to look for a job he’s waiting for me to provide everything! And he has no shame.
When I ensure everything is in order he will now start raising shoulders for outsiders like he contributes to anything. I just feel irritated. I wish he would understand me when I express myself of my worries I wouldn’t have had to write this long epistle on social media but when I try to express my concerns to him he just ignores me or turns the tables around or acts like I’m attacking his person. It leaves me frustrated.
What do I do? I never envisioned my married life to be like this. I was always the one who would love to trash out conflicts, always working and thinking of oneness in marriage but being married to this man has taught me that I’m on my own, he may say otherwise but that’s what I see happening over and over again.
All these conflicts, quarrels and malice hurt more than anything else in this world. Then couples with the fact that he’s still struggling financially not making any headway just feels like my marriage is over. What do I do? I need some answers for my mental health. I’m stalling living my sister’s place.
To be continued…
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