True Life Story: My Husband Refuse To Admit That He Was Wrong After Beating Me
Good Morning Lively Stones,
I need your advise. My name is Judith (not real name). I am 30 years old, married with two children. My marriage has been having issues due to the fact that my husband is not working. When we met five years ago, he was doing a contract job. But after he lost the contract job, he has not had a serious job since. I was not working at the time because he was earning well and he told me not to work, that I should stay at home and raise the children since he does not want any house help.
However, when things changed, my husband and I are struggling financially. yes, money comes in sometimes, maybe his friends give him a private job to do for like a day or so and then, he makes like small money which we use to feed. I tried to look for a job but nothing has come out. I only have WAEC. I got a job as a sales girl but the place was too far and I used to get home very late. That too caused alot of argument between me and my husband.
Anyway, the sales job ended because the woman I was helping relocated abroad. Since then, I have tried to get some help from friends and family to do some petty trading but things are hard. I am unable to make any money from the trading because we eat from my business. My husband does not bring any money most time. Now, I am frying yam and akara. Someone loaned me money…so I am paying back the loan and trying to manage feeding my family too.
The issue now that is on ground is that, last week, my husband beat me up. For the first time in our marriage. What happened? I went out and came back seeing my husband quarrelling with one of our neighbors. I do not even know what happened but both of them were shouting on top of their voices. I tried to be a peace maker, so I was pleading with the woman to calm down and I was also pleading with my husband to calm down because its not good for a man to be quarrelling with a woman like that.
As I was asking my husband to take it easy, the next thing I heard was twua twua….a big slap from my husband. I was shocked….I wanted to defend myself so I pushed his hand away because he was going to slap me. My husband thinking I maybe wanted to slap him back, pushed me and began to hit and kick me. He beat me mercilessly that day. He said I am a slut, useless woman…that instead of me to go and fight that woman that he is quarreling with, I was pacifying the woman.
To me, why will I fight the woman when I do not have any issues with her? He said my even pacifying the woman shows I am supporting the woman against him. All these is not true. I did not support him or the woman. I only wanted peace by pacifying them. I packed my things from the house with my children and went to my cousin’s house because I was scared for my life after that beating.
Now, its been almost a week since this incident happened. My husband and his sister have been calling to beg me to come back. But my husband is apologizing for beating me but insisting that he was right to say I should have joined him to fight the woman who was insulting him. Please advise me, am I wrong for pacifying the woman? Am I wrong for not fighting the woman? I want to go back to my marriage because my cousin’s house is small and she too is managing, me and my children are inconveniencing her but I am still feeling hurt…
Why will my husband insist he was right and I am wrong? Should I go back now that he has not acknowledged that he was wrong about me fighting the woman? If I go back…he may see it as me admitting he was right. But I can’t stay here long too…should I stay one more week, maybe he will realize he is wrong? I do not feel like justice has been served because he still thinks I am wrong.
I need your advise on how to go about this?
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