True Life Story: My Husband Wants To Sell All We Have To Japa- Pls Advise
Hello Lively Stones,
Please I need urgent advice. So, my husband of about three years has always wanted to travel abroad, for studies and eventually settle down. He has never really liked the idea of staying in Nigeria. He is an Accountant. Since before we were dating to even when we got married, all his mind is to japa. His plan is to go through study way and later, I can come and join him. So, he has been doing applications ever since.
Now, this January, he finally got admission to Canada to study. This made him so happy and since then, he has been sourcing for funds to travel. And then, I found out that I am pregnant in December. There are two issues: one is: he does not have the money to travel and me, I feel this is not the right time to travel cos this is my first pregnancy. I need him here by myside to help me.
My husband does not see from my point of view. He is doing everything he can to travel. He wants me to sell the land my father gave to me and we should also sell our car. So my question is: when he leaves….how will I go about my movements with no car? A pregnant woman without a car in this Lagos? All my life, I have never entered public transport…why will I start now…and even so….as a pregnant woman?
Secondly…asking me to sell the land my father gifted me when I graduated five years ago is not right. Its mine…not ours. I told him that and he got very upset. That I do not want to support his dreams and his long term plans for us. My husband has till middle of February to resume school in Canada or he will loose the admission. My husband says if he looses the admission because I refuse for him to sell the car I paid almost 70% for and sell my land….that I should start considering divorce.
This his comment made me so angry…he apologized but says….I have always known his dream is to japa….and that if I love him …I should support his dream….hes making it look like I am being wicked or not supportive and its not fair….yes…I want to support him but is now the right time? I am pregnant for God’s sake and if he does not have the money…why put me under pressure? How do I tell my family I sold the land daddy bought for me?
I am confused…my husband has been giving me attitude everyday since…hes saying time is counting and if I do not make up my mind….then I should accept whatever decision he takes…meaning…separation or what? He says most women will do anything even sleep with other men to give their husbands money to travel abroad…well…am not that type of woman.
I cant even discuss this with my family…they will be so upset. So, I discussed with his brother hoping that one will understand. The elder brother. That one said: what does small discomfort compare to a life abroad? That I should consider the selling of the land and car an investment for our future. That many families are even selling their houses….but that is when all of them are travelling…not when its only the husband travelling na….abi What do you think about this? Is this a wise investment?
What if my husband travels and forgets about us …with the way he has been vexing and threatening separation. I am very disappointed in my husband…yes…hes dream is valid but its like that is more important to him than me and his unborn child. Please I need advice…do you think I am being unreasonable or do you think I should sell my land and sell our car? Please advice.
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