HomeAdviceTrue Life Story: My Mother In-law Is Suffocating My Marriage

True Life Story: My Mother In-law Is Suffocating My Marriage

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True Life Story: My Mother In-law Is Suffocating My Marriage

Good day Lively Stones,

I need your help and prayers. I am facing to many challenges in my marriage. I got married last year to a man I met in my place of work. He was a security guard but a graduate. We got close because I really took interest in the fact that he is doing a security guard job despite being a graduate. He also was very kind to me. I found out that we are even the same age mate. We are both 33 years old.

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Somehow, he also began to like me and he would tell me that if he had money, he would have married me. Finally, through my network, I got him a job as Security Manager in a hotel. Next thing, he started toasting me, telling me he wants to marry me. I liked him alot. He was very kind and helpful.

Then he told me he wanted to get married before the end of the year. I was ok with that cos age too is not on my side. We got married. We both contributed to the wedding but my contribution was more. I did not mind cos I earn higher than him. Our marriage went smooth until exactly two months after marriage. His mother started calling and asking me if I have missed my period yet.

Initially, I will laugh and say to mama ….that she should relax…that it will happen in time. This woman will say she got pregnant on her own wedding night and she sees no reason why I cannot get pregnant after marriage. That maybe I am too old to have children at 33. I thought it was a minor thing before I knew it…she carried her wahala to my husband…and he too began to monitor my period. Anytime my period came, he would get upset.

He would say I am disappointing him….that he knows he has strong sperm…and that there is no woman he sleeps with, that does not get pregnant …I was stunned at their behavior. But nonetheless…I went to the doctor for check up after the 4th month…the doctor cleared me and told me to bring my husband. My husband refused to go. This became quarrel. Mama too was in one corner adding fire to the matter.

I became sad anytime I saw my period too. We got married in November last year. In June, called me and said she has found a solution. That she will take me to a traditional doctor in their village. That she will come and pick me up for the appointment. I told her point blank…that I am not going to see any body in her village. My husband got upset and said he will deal with me if I do not obey his mother. The anger with which he handled the matter made me even more fearful that this was not ordinary.

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ALSO READ: Can Our Relationship Survive His Baby Mamas & Mother- Inlaw Baggages-Pls Advise

I tried to talk to my husband. My pastor wife tried. He refused to listen. I told him as a Christian, its against my faith to go traditional…he said he too is a Christian and nothing wrong in seeking help from traditional gods. That colonization brought new religion which is not African. I told him I was scared…he said his mother cannot harm me…so I should have no fear …so I told him to give me sometime to think about it.

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After thinking for about a week, he asked me if I was ready…I told him I was not convinced cos from the look…its clear that this was idolism they wanted me to get involved in. Hubby said ok…since I refused…anything he does…I should not blame him.  In July, my husband started cheating with a woman in his workplace…he did not even hide it…he said he wanted to show me, that any woman he sleeps with will get pregnant. That almost sent me to my grave…I cried and cried until my heart hurt. I could not imagine how I got involved in this kind of marriage.

This same guy that was so kind and loving when we dated…how did he change so fast and become such a beast? everyone said I should pray…that its his mother’s influence….I agree…I never knew the mother did not like me…we only met twice before the marriage. Last month ending, my husband told me the girl he is sleeping with is pregnant but he wants her to abort…because he wants to give me one more chance to get pregnant before the end of the year.

I asked him how sure he is that he is the one that got the girl pregnant. He slapped me for saying that. He began to boast of how many girls have done abortion for him. That they are not less than 8. That I should go and ask them. That I sued jazz to charm a young man like him to marry an old person like me…that the only way is for me to submit to his mother, so they can counter the jazz that is making me not get pregnant. Can you imagine?

My husband said its a taboo in their family….that any woman who gets married into the family must be pregnant…any infertile wife will be sent away. So, am I fertile? I told him the doctor cleared me…he said that is onyibo medicine…I have to do traditional medicine. That is is not effective…that any woman who uses the traditional medicine must get pregnant immediately.

Please help me. If I do not get pregnant before the end of the year…my marriage will be over. I am afraid of going to see the traditional doctor in that village. Sometimes, I wonder if I should I go and see the woman? Maybe there is something wrong with me? Since my hubby got someone else pregnant…maybe its really me.

All these wahala is bothering me. My church is praying and fasting for me. Going traditional, is it not against my Christian faith? my family is saying if they insist on this mama’s way, then I should start thinking of leaving the marriage…they are also disappointed that after waiting for so long to marry…that this is the kind of man and mother in-law I ended up with. His own siblings in the village are supporting their mother and brother.

I am tired, afraid and exhausted. Did I make a mistake by marrying? Now I understand why some women wish their mother in-law is not alive…see my marriage is not even up to a year…see how this woman is controlling my husband and trying to suffocate me…this man has forgotten how I helped him…truly this must be the work of juju..no day goes without my mother in-law sending me message or calling me to taunt me.

What am I going to do? Do you think I use pray and go for the traditional medicine or start preparing for the end of my marriage? oh my God where are you…what have I done to deserve this?….oh please me…please help…

Anonymous

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Jzhane
Jzhane
A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J

11 COMMENTS

  1. Dear poster, If you can see this message please take it serious. Don’t go any village join the link below, it’s a morning prayer program (Monday – Friday) Hand everything go God, see what will be the outcome. https://fb.watch/fouEe_Az93/

  2. Don’t even think about going Mama’s way. Something is fishy. There’s definitely something they’re not telling you. Why would your husband refuse to visit the doctor but wants you to visit a native doctor. How sure are you your husband is telling the truth about impregnating some lady. My dear, let him be the one to end the marriage himself but never be coearsed into going the fetish way. Shalom

  3. You will not go to any village to see any traditionalist .You have to act like you are not bothered, neglect, overlook all what they are saying and doing.

    Thank God you have your job and you earn well,remain in that marriage, afterall you brought a larger share of the money during the wedding,don’t act as though you are pained with whatever they are doing, stop crying biko and stand your ground,she wants to bewitch you oooo,don’t move ,don’t bow to any pressure.

    Infact ,if I were you ,I will have it in mind that the marriage is 50/50,I will wait for the worse,what nonsense is this? Just last year and the pressure is like this,just make sure you see a gynecologist and always take your medication.

    Your husband was a pretender,so 8girls already aborted for him and he thinks none of them laid curse or even curses on him that his wife will never get pregnant.

    Nne,you only rushed into this marriage,good women like you don’t deserve such men,just keep praying,don’t be moved, intimidated or frustrated,don’t mind his mother,she is just wasting her time,please block her number on your phone if she disturbs you with messages and calls.

    I love you and God loves you more.

  4. Don’t go to any village for traditional pregnancy boster ooo,it obvious your mother in-law don’t like you,and your husband too don’t loves to that extent of standing strong for you in this case.i no it no easy but put this in your mind that the marriage is equal half(50/50).if your husband want you to go out of the marriage if you don’t get pregnant by the end of the year so be it.let me tell you even if you give them one child now there will demand that another one should follow immediately and the second one should be the opposite gender of the first one.am not sure your husband got that her colleague pregnant oo.and even if he does is not your fault because am sure if you sleep with another man that is not your husband don’t be suprised you too will be pregnant.if your husband family insists you go traditionally then get ready to leave that marriage.it well with you .your husband is not what you think he is,…just under one year of marriage wahala don d come up like Assu strike in peace I walker come,and in peace I don walker go

  5. You made a huge mistake by marrying that guy, you should be thinking of leaving that marriage for your peace of mind, and do make sure that his losses that job you gave him. He and his family can’t bite the finger that is feeding them.
    Nonsense and ingrate people.

  6. You said your marriage will be over? Is this one marriage? Aunty please leave those people and move on with your life like they don’t exist. That man knows why he has refused to go see a doctor and claiming the child he went out to cheat for he now wants the woman to abort it.

    I know a first hand story like this and at the end it was the man’s fault…long story tho.

    Just move out and leave him, you will never be happy in that home, even if you have a child they will still not like you, this is just an excuse for them to show their true colours to you.
    You may be blocking your real husband from finding you by sticking what is not yours.

  7. Dear poster, I understand it isn’t easy, please never try going diabolical, what if your husband isn’t fertile and it’s a plan work between him and his mother to get the native doctor to sleep with you, I will advice you forget that ingrate of a husband. Since you earn more, focus more on yourself and dump that mama’s boy,,,I know you will be wondering where will you start from, don’t worry about that, God got you, you will be fine, allow time do it’s work, your husband will locate you, it is well with you dear…

  8. Dear,
    Sorry to hear about this. This too will pass.
    Since you are now married, I’ll say pray, fast, be happy, do what makes you happy, don’t over stretch financially, try to save. PRAY. Block your mum inlaws number and any number she uses to text you to protect your spirit. The enemy is trying to frustrate your joy. I believe your husband will learn the hard way and apologies later. PRAY, use scriptures on him and your home.

    I’m concerned for STD if he’s sleeping outside. Please don’t let him slap you etc. avoid such situations.

    Try to see he keeps going to church, put Christian messages and music on in your home to cleanse your spirits and the atmosphere . Never ever go traditional.

    God will settle you. You will take in but he should stop sleeping out.

    If he lifts his hands on you etc. you can separate for your safety ( I didn’t say divorce ).

    PRAY, I truly believe this storm will pass. Please forgive all hurt so that your prayers won’t be hindered. God bless

  9. Dear Poster,
    follow your heart… whatever you feel will give you peace of mind, irrespective of what anyone says, do it.

    There’s plenty voices in the world but one is very certain. That is the voice of God. Go to Him and ask for guidance and He direct your path.

    Peace

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